Judging People - Fi vs Fe

[Logos]

You should get rid of your ESE mother. You are welcome to use any means. I am not one to cramp or dictate a person's styles. Do the world a favor and rid the world of one less irrational ESE.

[Sirena]

You should get rid of your ESE mother. You are welcome to use any means. I am not one to cramp or dictate a person's styles. Do the world a favor and rid the world of one less irrational ESE.

But ESEs are rationals! I'll leave the extermination of ESEs to their conflictors.

[Logos]

But ESEs are rationals! I'll leave the extermination of ESEs to their conflictors.

This is also how I feel. I'm not saying I'm incapable of blowing up, but the times it does happen, I can't help but see it as something "wrong" that could potentially affect the relationship. I see it as a mistake, something that shouldn't have happened. I don't think I'll ever be able to see this kind of interaction as something normal. That was my point. My ESE mother, on the other hand, will blow up at me...say things that are hurtful to me then turn around 5 minutes later as if nothing had happened. That's always bothered me.

I suppose I am just confused by this. What should have been the proper response by your mother after saying these things? Should she have brooded for a few days? Should she have cut you out of her life? What did you want her to do?

[Slacker]

I suppose I am just confused by this. What should have been the proper response by your mother after saying these things? Should she have brooded for a few days? Should she have cut you out of her life? What did you want her to do?

If someone says something mean and hurtful, that person should apologize. And stop doing it.

[Sirena]

If someone says something mean and hurtful, that person should apologize. And stop doing it.

Yes. Not pretend it isn't a big deal.

[Logos]

If someone says something mean and hurtful, that person should apologize. And stop doing it.

Do Fe-egos not apologize? If that is how they felt in that moment, should they not have said that? Is it really as easy as "stop doing it" to an Fe ego as it is to an Fi ego?

[Slacker]

Do Fe-egos not apologize? If that is how they felt in that moment, should they not have said that? Is it really as easy as "stop doing it" to an Fe ego as it is to an Fi ego?

I don't think people with Fe in their ego block always see a need to apologize. Like, this is what happens and it's no big deal, we're still friends, so let's get on with things. Which I think my dad anyway (ENFj) sees as the more healthy way to deal with it, and perhaps all Fe-ego types see it as more healthy. No one is perfect, everyone blows up, it's water under the bridge, tomorrow is another day, no big deal. If someone blows up and says mean things to me, I can't just move on without dealing with it, which involves apologies. If I get mean with someone, I always apologize, and I expect the same from others. I have plenty of friends with Fe in their ego block, but that's certainly my biggest issue with them.

It has nothing to do with "shoulds". People are different and deal with things differently. It's just an observation about Socionic type differences. Personally, even when I'm upset, I have a pretty good ability to not say hurtful things to people. I yell about something someone did, but I don't yell and say things about the person. Only about the action. And if I slip, I apologize for it. I usually apologize for losing my cool regardless, really.

[Logos]

I don't think people with Fe in their ego block always see a need to apologize. Like, this is what happens and it's no big deal, we're still friends, so let's get on with things. Which I think my dad anyway (ENFj) sees as the more healthy way to deal with it, and perhaps all Fe-ego types see it as more healthy. No one is perfect, everyone blows up, it's water under the bridge, tomorrow is another day, no big deal. If someone blows up and says mean things to me, I can't just move on without dealing with it, which involves apologies. If I get mean with someone, I always apologize, and I expect the same from others. I have plenty of friends with Fe in their ego block, but that's certainly my biggest issue with them.

I have yet to meet an Fe ego who has not apologized from such outbursts when they sincerely felt sorry for what they said. If I ever meet the one who does not, you will be the first to know.

It has nothing to do with "shoulds". People are different and deal with things differently. It's just an observation about Socionic type differences. Personally, even when I'm upset, I have a pretty good ability to not say hurtful things to people. I yell about something someone did, but I don't yell and say things about the person. Only about the action. And if I slip, I apologize for it. I usually apologize for losing my cool regardless, really.

And do you think that this negative behavior is more likely in Fe egos?