Yeah that's pretty much that way for me, too. I don't want to deal with emotional explosions. It makes me wonder about when they'll strike next.
Yeah that's pretty much that way for me, too. I don't want to deal with emotional explosions. It makes me wonder about when they'll strike next.
, LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
Originally Posted by implied
Definitely makes me very tense to be around a person like this, like they're a ticking time bomb that could go off at any minute.
These "emotional explosions" associated with Fe are not as common as it is perpetuated on the boards. Usually frequent "emotional explosions" are signs of already negative relationships.
Johari Box"Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
I never said it was frequent. It only has to happen once to make me wonder about things.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
My comment was not directed at you. But when a number of people start talking about these negative emotional outbursts, it creates the image that it is of frequent occurrence, when the reality is that they are rather infrequent. I recall one ESE snapping in an "emotional explosion" only once in the time that I knew her, and that was as the result of tremendous amount of external pressure. But such emotional effusiveness of Fe-egos essentially allow for the other to be aware of an emotional disturbance that needs to be sorted out. They are letting their emotional states come to the surface instead of bottling it up, ignoring the problem, or cutting off the person. I know it is a difference of Ti vs. Te values, but I appreciate such emotional openness as opposed to constantly feeling that I am standing in the emotional dark as is sometimes the case with Fi-egos.
Or that.
Johari Box"Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
Imho "lashing out" is Fe related but not necessarily Fe-ego or Fe-valuing related.
Several type descriptions pay attention to the fact that Reinin negativity associated with poor control of Fe can lead to "lashing out".
For example:
"Some ILIs have very poor control over their emotions, and may lash out angrily if provoked.".
"Although ESTjs may appear in control of their emotions they periodically allow flashes of fury to break through."
.
I'm not saying I sweep things under the rug. I think this is as much of a misconception regarding Fi. I simply prefer to discuss things in a calm manner. Seeing someone express themselves to me in an overly emotional manner will immediately cause me to shut down. This doesn't, however, mean that I don't want to talk about whatever might be going on. I have a hard time believing that someone who is not able to keep their cool and maintain "civilized" conversation and will instead resort to yelling and name-calling, is capable of maintaining a healthy relationship. Maybe this is just coming from an Fi point of view. Different things work for different people. I just don't personally see myself able to endure a situation like this, especially if it's a frequent occurrence. But again, I do believe in open communication and talking about things. It is "how" this communication happens that differs, I think.
What exactly about emotional outbursts make you uncomfortable? The way they affect your emotional state? Or because you feel the other person is in an unstable state? What if you knew that the person was using their emotion as a vehicle of self-expression rather than deliberately trying to affect you? That they were completely in control. Would that bother you still?
"Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."
fwiw i intend to remove that in the near future. overall i don't think it's necessarily an inaccurate tendency, but the description as a whole is full of statements like this which abjectly fail at painting the picture that you need to understand in order to grasp what Fe polr means.
People aren't understanding me. It isn't about lashing out. I'm one of the moodiest people on the planet - I have no place to throw stones in that regard and that's not the issue. It's about an interaction style. It seems from my perspective like Fe-valuing people can say what to my ears sound like hurtful comments and sound really upset with each other, but they aren't really upset with each other at all. Or at least it isn't a real issue - like some long-term problem. They can blow up at each other, and to me it will sound like a huge fight, but then the next day they're still great friends. It's an way of interacting that makes me uncomfortable. If I blow up at someone, it'll take some work before I hang out with them again. And I do blow up at people. And if someone blows up at me, it takes work for me to feel comfortable around them again. I can't just be friendly the next day.
Here's what I said again:
See? Look, everyone. I don't say that people with Fe get upset more often or worse than anyone else. I say that they get upset and then are friends again as if nothing happened.It seems like people with strong Fe can have these big blow-out arguments and then be best friends again the next day. For me, if someone gets that upset at me and I get that upset at them, that's generally it.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
Because nothing fundamentally changed between them in terms of their friendship, only their emotional fluctuations. San Francisco runs its daily business. An earthquake hits San Francisco and some destruction ensues. What happens afterward? Obviously the earthquake happened and the inhabitants do not pretend that there was no earthquake. They repair the damage and then resume life as per usual but knowing that earthquakes could always strike again.
Johari Box"Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
Fi arguments:
Fe:
"Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."
.
yes. i think Se valuing types would agree with this most.
INTp
sx/sp
Or simply an unhealthy individual.
INFp
If your sea chart does not match reality, go with reality (Old mariner saying)
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