ESTp & INTp semi-duality relations (SLE-ILI)

[ESTP]

My love doesnt last long if it's not reciprocated.

INFp dood...I dunno, that just whithered out.

I think, now that I've admited that I am in love with INTp, I am ready to call it quits. I know it sounds werid, but all the excitment I had for him he killed with his "solitude". His inability to make plans, and sometimes follow through last minute. I'm sick of the push-pull bullshit. I was ready to do that a few days ago, but I saw him breifly and it felt like someone poured water on my head and I couldn't be mad at him anymore. But, his inability to agree to attend an event with me tonight, he is "not sure what he's doing"...has made me....I dont know the word for it. Ready to move past him?

[Blaze]

My love doesnt last long if it's not reciprocated.

INFp dood...I dunno, that just whithered out.

I think, now that I've admited that I am in love with INTp, I am ready to call it quits. I know it sounds werid, but all the excitment I had for him he killed with his "solitude". His inability to make plans, and sometimes follow through last minute. I'm sick of the push-pull bullshit. I was ready to do that a few days ago, but I saw him breifly and it felt like someone poured water on my head and I couldn't be mad at him anymore. But, his inability to agree to attend an event with me tonight, he is "not sure what he's doing"...has made me....I dont know the word for it. Ready to move past him?

funny. that's Ni for ya.

you need reciprocation to stay in love? wow that is very SLE for sure. constant feedback or you're on to the next thing. interesting. kinda like what have you done for me lately. why do you think you are like that?

the solitude thing doesn't challenge you? really? when infpman does this, i kinda consider it a challenge, how am i going to get him motivated to come out and do something? then i move into some kind of persuasive negotiation thing.....it usually works. but sometimes it doesn't. since sometimes he says, about me, "you want someone to stand up to you." hahahaha

push-pull. hilarious, we actually use this phrase with each other to describe what's going on. we've kind of realized that this is always going on between us, it sort of defines the relationship or something. but now that we've made it explicit, it's more funny than anything else.

[ESTP]

funny. that's Ni for ya.

you need reciprocation to stay in love? wow that is very SLE for sure. constant feedback or you're on to the next thing. interesting. kinda like what have you done for me lately. why do you think you are like that?

I do need constant feedback, or i WILL move on to the next thing. I have been in situations where I have invested SO MUCH of myself for hardly anything, and ended up hurt, upset, angry, sat....bitter-betty. I do not want to go through that again.

If I believe someone is becoming disinterested, I will do them a favour and speed up the process. I do not like to drag things out, or mull over in a "ill wait and just maybe" sense. I like it clear cut...yes/no. I don't like to hang in the basement, while the house is being built.
There are exceptions, like always, but the positive has to significantly outweight the circumstance of the "exception" and be lucerative for me (whichever way).

When I care about someone, I treat them like Gold, if they cannot do the same, then what is the point. People understandably have different way of "reciprocating" and when you know enough about someone, it may not be the way you want it...but as long as I recognize that it's their way or "reciprocating" than it's good enough.

the solitude thing doesn't challenge you? really? when infpman does this, i kinda consider it a challenge, how am i going to get him motivated to come out and do something? then i move into some kind of persuasive negotiation thing.....it usually works. but sometimes it doesn't. since sometimes he says, about me, "you want someone to stand up to you." hahahaha

It is a challange, and at it's been fun at times. I have gotten my way, and I have not. Knowing him, it's an accomplishment when I manage to manipulate him to my way. He is STUBBORN. So am I, and for the first time in a LONG time, I am comprimising, even stepping back sometimes. Scary. That attitude at the same time, draws me back in because he DOESNT fall to every whim of mine, and he is not afraid to argue with me. We sometimes argue SO MUCH, but it almost brings us closer together. I like that he is not intimidated by me, and he probably has more control over me than anyone I know. I cannot explain it, but it draws in me SOOO much. Surprisingly he is shorter than me, and has a smaller frame. It's awkward, and I'd say it's comical, but I dont care. He is just magnificent. But, right now I hate him. (ahh when I say I hate him, I feel like I someone chiseling a piece of my heart out LMAO HOW GAY)

push-pull. hilarious, we actually use this phrase with each other to describe what's going on. we've kind of realized that this is always going on between us, it sort of defines the relationship or something. but now that we've made it explicit, it's more funny than anything else.

I say push pull because when I show a lot of interest he withdraws, when I show indiferece he chases. It's kind of annoying, cuz right now I just wish we would be on the same wave-length. I think it wouldnt be so bad if we had more time together. I think I mentioned earlier in the froum that i will be moving sometime in mid-end august, two hrs away. And I just wanna spend as much time with him as possible. He is making it a little hard, but whatever. Thats what is brining me to the point where I just dont want to bother. We had a similar spat before, and we shortly went back to being the way we were. After we moved on like nothing happend, and we dont bring it up, but to me at least when I thought about what had taken place while we were not on good terms...I was laughing. So was he I think inside, because for a while he showed a soft and sweet side. Uncharacteristically, soft and sweet side, and now its back to the withdrawl phase. Its annoying, the clock is ticking.

[Blaze]

It is a challange, and at it's been fun at times. I have gotten my way, and I have not. Knowing him, it's an accomplishment when I manage to manipulate him to my way. He is STUBBORN. So am I, and for the first time in a LONG time, I am comprimising, even stepping back sometimes. Scary. That attitude at the same time, draws me back in because he DOESNT fall to every whim of mine, and he is not afraid to argue with me. We sometimes argue SO MUCH, but it almost brings us closer together. I like that he is not intimidated by me, and he probably has more control over me than anyone I know. I cannot explain it, but it draws in me SOOO much. Surprisingly he is shorter than me, and has a smaller frame. It's awkward, and I'd say it's comical, but I dont care. He is just magnificent. But, right now I hate him. (ahh when I say I hate him, I feel like I someone chiseling a piece of my heart out LMAO HOW GAY)

man i feel like i'm listening to myself when i read this. this is exactly the way it goes between me and infpman. there's this fucking draw he has...sometimes i can even physically feel it in my chest. and yeah, i compromise more than i ever ever have and step back a lot too. and i love it that he will stand up to me and at times lead me - this is when i feel most drawn to him.

I say push pull because when I show a lot of interest he withdraws, when I show indiferece he chases. It's kind of annoying, cuz right now I just wish we would be on the same wave-length. I think it wouldnt be so bad if we had more time together. I think I mentioned earlier in the froum that i will be moving sometime in mid-end august, two hrs away. And I just wanna spend as much time with him as possible. He is making it a little hard, but whatever. Thats what is brining me to the point where I just dont want to bother. We had a similar spat before, and we shortly went back to being the way we were. After we moved on like nothing happend, and we dont bring it up, but to me at least when I thought about what had taken place while we were not on good terms...I was laughing. So was he I think inside, because for a while he showed a soft and sweet side. Uncharacteristically, soft and sweet side, and now its back to the withdrawl phase. Its annoying, the clock is ticking.

Today 01:17 PM

that's exactly how it works. it's like you have to keep them coming for you but at the same time it's hard because my natural inclination is to lead/pursue/initiate. so yeah push-pull. it does get a little bit wearing...how do you think he feels about you moving two hours away? i could see how that could be a problem what with gas and all these days. how will the two of you see each other if you are so far apart, distance wise?

funny, i always feel like i'm on some kind of time table, too. i'm like, let's get on with it. i've started to see though that really there's no time table. it's gotten kind of fun to live totally without a relationship goal, just for today. kind of exciting i think

[ESTP]

how do you think he feels about you moving two hours away? i could see how that could be a problem what with gas and all these days. how will the two of you see each other if you are so far apart, distance wise?

Well there's the conundrum. You see, we are not in a relationship. Even though, everyone we know thinks we're a couple. It's ridiculous, and amusing at the same time, we def. behave like a couple. With that being said for the 8th million time. How does he feel eh??

Well...here's the thing. When we talked about this last week, I sort of, kind of, said that, we "should spend as much time together as possible during the next three weeks, and after that...that's it". He doesn't want to be in a relationship, so that was my way of saying...lets do it up, and drop it at the end.

When we talked about it in depth, we both seemed a little unsure of what the outcome was going to be after I move. We went to reassure each other that we will still see each other, and what not. We both seemed more excited after that.

Actually, the city I'm moving to is a major city, and he has a condo there. He usually drives up on the weekends, and when he has time off. So, it's not the worst thing in the world. For me, I like having a piece of mind, that once I move, I will not have this baggage with me. Its sad to say, but that's my preception of it. I don't want dealings in a sketchy non-relationship.

I think he believes things will be the same after I'm gone. Sunshine, do you think his withdrawing is him either distancing himself cuz he acutally does care? or do you think that he's just being typical? What's ur take on this? We saw each other a couple days ago, very briefly, I just handed him some paperwork (thats when i was mad at him, and when i saw him i felt "like someone poured water over me") when he saw me, i saw his expression change. Like, there was a great magnetism and I think he may feel more than he is willing to admit. I think he just isn't ready. But, there's the skeptical side of me that thinks, it's just how he rolls. It's just the way he is with every chick, and any chick.

Another question for ya Sunshine...when we spend the night....in the beggining the first few times, I would dash off right after we did the deed. The second time we were together, he asked me to stay the night. I stayed, until he fell asleep then darted off. That happend a couple times. Then, I spent the night. The whole night, he was hugging me up, he like had one hand on my face the whole night, and was hugging me. Now, it's just something we're accustomed to, that I just stay over when I go over. It's just presumed. And it's always the same thing, after sex, he is really affectionate & sensual. It's intense. He always holds my face, always...whenever we kiss, touch, whatever...if were watching tv, i usually lay in his lap and he always plays with my hair, or ill be scratching him lightly with my nails and shit. He always kisses my head, my eyebrows, sometimes well just hold a kiss for minutes at a time. After the big fight we had, the next time we slept together, he held my hand in his almost the entire night, while holding my face with his other hand across my jaw/neck, and had a leg around me the whole night. All that being said, I dont understand then, like this week why he's being so withdrawn.