IR Family Heritage Dynamics

[vesstheastralsilky]

What intertype relations exist(ed) in your family life when growing up? In what ways might have this influenced your life development and sense of support? How satisfied are you with your life now on a scale of 1 to 10 per your personal inner standard for your own happiness and success?

[Computer Loser]

my bro is infp. I think this helped our dynamics growing up as brothers, bonding, looking out for each other and making each other laugh like crazy, etc

[vesstheastralsilky]

My parents were true Conflictors: ESTJ-Si and INFP-Fe. One says they couldn't stand the other when they were dating but got won over and decided to marry anyway. They had absolutely no natural understanding of each other. Both constantly felt like they were doing everything and constantly misinterpreted the others overt actions and motives, often alleging unseen behaviors which frankly did not exist.

My Father is my Supervisor relation (Te overbearing and negating Fe). My Mother is my Look-a-Like relation. My younger siblings are Quasi-Identical and Supervisee. Both never could get along with me together. The dynamics spread across two quadras were always 2 against 1. They shared a room growing up - most of the time. They were much closer. Both have been estranged from my Mother for 20 years now even though one is her Mirror relation and the other a Benefit relation. The ISFJ used to con the INFP out of a lot of her money for her own material image goals.

5 people were spread across 4 quadras. Everyone is mostly dysfunctional together at best.

My Fe was only matched at best and so was my Si. It was never valued, or else downgraded, beyond that. I received no Ti nor Ne support.

I finally found some satisfaction of feeling positive family relations after growing closer to my Mirror relation Grandmother. It was a rough run in but I felt I could be myself and be accepted for who I was naturally more than any immediate family member.

Despite these intertype relations, before ever obtaining awareness of the theory I spent decades feeling personally devoted to the help and wellbeing of each of my family members often overlooking offenses and making sacrifices in my own life to make being close and giving to them priority. After being brokenhearted and hurt by them in very serious ways far too many times, I've decided my values have clearly lifelong been unreciprocated and I don't want to be their fool anymore.

[vesstheastralsilky]

my bro is infp. I think this helped our dynamics growing up as brothers, bonding, looking out for each other and making each other laugh like crazy, etc

Awesome!!! Yeah sometimes I get slap happy with Infps and we have so much fun, laughing until crying. I wish it happened more often.

[ashlesha]

I was the only fi/te valuer. All beta immediate family. I felt overlooked sometimes and had to amp up the volume and the drama to get my emotional needs met but in spite of lots of non type related dysfunction I feel lucky that I never doubted that I had unconditional love and (at least attempts at) support. Life satisfaction? I dunno, 7? I'll never be totally satisfied lol.

[vesstheastralsilky]

Oh yeah ... Life satisfaction currently gets about a 3. 7 would be pretty great.

[Spermatozoa]

Father: SEI
Mother: ESI
Brother: LSI

This arrangement means intra-familial conflict will usually arise when my mother, unfortunately a conflictor, does something to annoy me or vice versa. At this point other parties may get involved, and the sides they take are quite predictable. My father will usually support me and my brother will usually support her, regardless of who is actually right.

[Delilah]

I find that the nature of intertype relations does not play out fully in ties like parent -child, but this is just my opinion. Say, for instance, if the parent is a beneficiary and the child the benefactor, how would that play out if the child doesn't have much to offer (for at least years) in the way of benefiting the parent? Just wondering...

[Pookie]

Father was Activity, he wasn't there long though, so mostly served as an ideal of how to be a man that wasn't quite attainable.
Mother is quasi. Natural agreeance comes natural, but process is always disputed. We can't work together but developed a solid notion of how to be a good person, in a way that was doable.
Older sister, beneficiary. We fought as kids, but now I'm the only one who can convince her to vaccinate her kids. That is not a metaphor, but also is metaphorically potent.
Younger sister is Mirror. I spent alot of time with her. She's autistic but she can fool you. Shit, I might be on the spectrum and I can fool you too. Developmental Dynamics is more her story to tell than mine, but I think she models her idea of "fair" similar to mine.
Youngest sister, Benefactor. It's a bit wackoo because I'm much older, but it's pretty evident that her sense of humor is developed after my own. Though, she is 13 so she's a bit of an edgelord. I wasn't when I was 13, but if I was 13 now id definitely earn the label. I spent so much time at home in my teens that I learned alot of my social developmental making her laugh as a kid, so I guess it's natural that she has some of my more exaggerated leanings and faults.
Nephew, supervisee. I love the guy, but I know. I could stop his baby tantrums because I'm sorta sociopathic, but I am the last person in the fam to reach him on a level he can work with. I can really only serve as template for him to make sense of for himself.
Niece, 100% dual. It's concrete. When she was 4 she was getting my ten year old level jokes and playing with her banter. She's as close to a soulmate as I think I'll ever find. She'll make wisecracks that adults will be fearful of making themselves, and understand why it's funny in ways that I'll have to explain to other adults why it's humorous.

All of us lived together for a very long time, 'cept my dad. So the effect on development is definitely a heavy variable.

[The Reality Denialist]

Well, I'm OK with my IEI sister although I can not kick her ass to much needed action.
My SEE sister. Well, kind of OK. We do not share similar goals in life and other stuff but we have bit similar rhythm. Otherwise it is OK.
My brother OK.
Everything is OK with my father.
My sister and brother do fight a lot.

I'm actually OK with everyone if they want to be OK with me. I'm not very complicated in those issues. Kind of what Reinin wrote regarding ethics in general. Only if people did not care so much about those issues.

[Dauphin]

My mother and sister are ESEs, my father is LSE, and my brother is SLI. I actually relate to and get along better with my father and brother, which shows the malleability of intertype relations, in a way. I've learned to bottle up my Beta-ness when around family anyway.
My father is a nervous wreck most of the time, and his Parkinson's hasn't made anything better. When he's relaxed he's a great conversationalist, though.
My brother has anxiety issues and is a slow learner, but not stupid. He's a good person and easy to get along with, even though we have few similar interests. He doesn't know what he wants to do in life, unfortunately.
My sister is solipsistic, bipolar and not very bright. We have almost nothing in common at all, except for some unconscious hangups perhaps. There's something pitiable about her, though.
My mother is, for the most part, a good woman, even if I don't relate to her at all. People tend to just unload their burdens onto her, and she mostly accepts it. There's something about her I find mysterious, since she seems to put on a front most of the time.
So yeah, everyone in my family is a sad sack of shit.

[Beautiful sky]

I want to respond to this thread so I am booking it

hierarchy...

Well since I’m EII and Delta I look at family dynamics like the Father is on top, the boss...the mom is his right hand and kids have to be obedient and respectful to authority.

My father was SEE, very democratic authority who showed very little outward jesters of love. In fact I never heard my father say “I love you,” but he was a provider. He could go find work like Jack London, anyway over seas and on any land and send money home to take care of us and my mother being ILI, time and distance didn’t detour her attachment. Being the oldest child and most fragile and an N type I watched my SEE brother and ESE sister destroy each other over ownership of the only radio we had at home and the only TV. They would fight to watch what they wanted while I sat back or left the room and called mom to break it off. I would try to reason with these sensors “you guys can take turns and learn to appreciate each other’s taste.” I fel the odd one out but also given a lot of independence to be myself. My parents didn’t put a lot of physical expectations on me aside from cleaning up after my messy father. I think now he just wanted me out of my coop to watch me do something other than to read and write.

My brother being SEE got into video games and had some horrible friends who would mistreat his friendship and ask him to steal. My mother intervened and put an end to that but I always wondered how can he want attention so bad that he has to hang out with such terrible people. He wanted to learn to drive when I did even though he’s younger so he was all about wanting to experience the thrill of a nice car. His first car was a sports car.

My sister was the youngest. She wanted love and attention so badly. I couldn’t understand why. I wanted to be left alone here she is wanting to hang out with my friends. I let her. She even claimed in a dramatic way to have fallen in love with a guy who was into me. I told him to date her. No competition or fighting over ownership of someone else please.

My sister now is kinda unreliable a lot more. But I love all of them and I will help whenever I can.

I have never been dissatisfied of what I’ve had. The people in my life are who they are. You gotta just accept people. I would say I’ve always thought of my life as a 10 no matter how different everyone is.

Also now that we are older I refuse for us to be an island on our own. I call my brother when I want to eat some delicious Bbq and I ask him to take me. He will. He’ll take my sister and I and will make us pay for it but I don’t care. Small price to pay for seeing my brother and watching his glow over delicious food.