Gilly, you don't seem 3 to me, because even though you may need other people's input to confirm your identity, it doesn't seem to me that your sense of achievement, of self-esteem, is dependent on how others perceive it. I would think that 4 or 7 are much more likely than 3.
, LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
Originally Posted by implied
Interesting. I think you may be on to something...Threes tend to surround themselves with people who confirm their sense of self-identity (something I read in Naranjo's book that I have noted as fairly consistent); I tend to surround myself with people I see as interesting.
However I do identify with the 3's specific kind of trouble with intimacy that I'm not sure is common to 4 or 7: the closer I get to people, the more I feel the need to "impress" them.
But, for a certainty, back then,
We loved so many, yet hated so much,
We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...
Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
Whilst our laughter echoed,
Under cerulean skies...
I would see that as 4-ish, not really 7-ish.
Interesting. aka-kitsune seemed to think the reverse when I talked to her about the two types in private. Having done extensive background reading on both types, I'm really not sure what to think; I could see that kind of thing manifesting in both for various reasons. However I am inclined to think that a 4, being part of the Heart triad, would be more apt to have relationships and issues with people that are affected by their core fixation.
But, for a certainty, back then,
We loved so many, yet hated so much,
We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...
Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
Whilst our laughter echoed,
Under cerulean skies...
Eh, whilst I can see that as being somewhat true in the sense that I do enjoy being in 'social climes' that affirm my sense of self, rather than disregard my achievement or my presentation or what I value, there is no disconnection between people I find interesting and people I surround myself with.
I don't think it's standardised 3 behaviour to form a 'feedback' loop with their friends. Yeah, I don't hang around people who dismiss me and my interests out of hand, because it does make me somewhat uncomfortable. But I like to be around people who affirm my values, beliefs and achievement whilst also being interesting. There are a lot of people in law school with me who would 'affirm my sense of self' and I find them abysmally dull ass-kissers with whom I try to avoid spending extensive periods of time, because after a while, you just want to grab a utensil and start spooning out your brain to make the pain their dull existence is inflicting on you stop.
I have huge intimacy issues, but that's not exactly how I would describe it. It's pretty much - the closer you are to me, the less I am inclined to try to 'impress' you. If I can't stop myself from wanting to 'image project' for your benefit when you're around me, then you aren't close and you're not getting any closer. People might think we're close, but eh, not really. Closeness is the degree to which I trust you enough to let down my guard, basically.
Of course, again, people who are negative, dismissive and callous get shut out immediately to the 'outside my image' loop and the various layers of closeness, intimacy and projection get very confused and tangled.
Ok, a better way of putting it is: if I want to 'bring you in close to me', I will be very concerned with 'impressing' you, since I think if you don't admire me and think I'm the most awe-inspiring person ever, there's no way you'd want to spend time with me. But actual closeness involves me not caring so much about impressing you anymore. When I start 'impressing' you again, you're being shunted out of my vulnerability zone. I'm done with you.
Last edited by unefille; 10-02-2008 at 03:46 AM.
(
3w4-1w2-5w4 sx/sp
Gilly, you're not a 3 and you're not a 7. Stop being silly, 'bro'. lol.
4w3-5w6-8w7
Not to derail the topic but lol, do you really say 'whilst' in real life? Sorry, but that's just a funny word.
lol, I'm presuming that was directed at me. Yeah -- is it that unusual? Eh, I say shit like 'shan't' as well -- I don't really even think about this stuff, tbh, haha.
3w4-1w2-5w4 sx/sp
My husband and family are Australian and yes, they do say "whilst". Though I've heard it much more out of my mother-in-law and sister-in-law than my husband or father-in-law so maybe there's a gender thing going on too.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
I like the word 'whilst.' I'll prolly use it a bit in the future, at the risk of feeling pretentious.
4w3-5w6-8w7
Do you identify with what I said about trying to impress intimates, nick?
But, for a certainty, back then,
We loved so many, yet hated so much,
We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...
Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
Whilst our laughter echoed,
Under cerulean skies...
hmm....u said the closer you get to people, the more you try to impress them? Not sure how this works for me. I don't necessarily try to impress people I'm not close to very actively; I'll mostly just keep up an amorphous persona. But once I get close to someone, I tend to feel like I can eventually let down my guard (somewhat) once a certain threshold is crossed. I don't feel like I have to impress them at all at that point. I think the stage where you're trying to draw them in and making sure it works is when I would be most likely to try to impress someone, so I might be a little more evasive/mysterious or something, and put up a nice smoke screen of personality to draw them in. Other than that, it's whatever.
yo, crazy-ass resemblance up in this mug
you know I love you gilly, just fucking around lol
Aww, you guys are talking about me? <3
Who is that anyways?
But, for a certainty, back then,
We loved so many, yet hated so much,
We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...
Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
Whilst our laughter echoed,
Under cerulean skies...
I have no clue lol.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
