Se PoLR of INFjs and INTjs

[Minde]

Good example, in the sense of being forced to use the Vulnerable function.

I also found it interesting in contrast to the LSE's response, who found it far easier to respond appropriately and also seemed barely to think about it later, other than marvel a little at the odd coincidence of both of us experiencing a near identical situation in the same afternoon. I felt a bit of a zing from the criticism right in the moment, but overall the LSE's responses to both me and the events helped me feel better by minimizing my "failure" and providing gentle suggestion of how to improve.

I noticed the Se / pressure / confrontation and felt it strongly, crumpling under it; LSE noticed possible danger and reacted relatively confidently, then basically discounted the whole thing except as it related to future safety.

[andreasdevig]

Reposted from the Delta Lounge because it seems applicable here, too:

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I think I would categorize the following as a "PoLR hit":

A few days ago, I was driving my car in the far left of a two-lane lefthand turn onto a highway. It was quite crowded because of an accident further up the road, so the lines started to form in the median lane. I had maybe 10 cars ahead of me and a bunch more lining up behind me.

Suddenly I see movement out of the corner of my eye, look to my left, and there's a car less than two feet from me *on my left*, maybe a foot further back than I was. Technically she was not quite in oncoming traffic, because the the median was very wide, but it was close, and I could see the oncoming cars swerving a bit. No one else was behind her, so I think she was just attempting a shortcut.

The car in front of me moved up a bit, so I did, too, and she moved up closer to me. I started feeling panicky, pressured, and very annoyed. She didn't let up so to preserve my car's paint I finally let her in. As I was doing so, LSE next to me says, "Either let her in or go for it, don't play the middle ground."

After she had wedged her way in, LSE says, "That would have been a great time for a long, loud car horn blast." They were right, of course.

As I finally turned onto the highway, my hands were shaking and I held back tears. Internally, I berated myself for being weak, not just in letting the car push me around but for being so upset about it. A former SLE boss's voice came echoing back to me, "You cry too easily."

LSE laid back to take a nap, and for the next hour I tried to process why that whole situation bothered me so much. Interestingly, I also became increasingly sleepy, though I'm not sure if that ties directly in or not...

I know all about that. I'm extremely sensitive about being dominated or bossed around. I absolutely cannot stand being around domineering or bossy people. They make me feel extremely uncomfortable. I guess because they force me to have to look at a part of myself that I cannot stand to look at (the part of myself that I feel is very submissive). It makes me feel weak, submissive, etc. I always try my best to not boss others around, because I know I can't stand it when others do that to me.

I also really dislike when people dismiss me or shut me down for having the feelings I have (like your SLE boss did to you).

I also found it interesting in contrast to the LSE's response, who found it far easier to respond appropriately and also seemed barely to think about it later, other than marvel a little at the odd coincidence of both of us experiencing a near identical situation in the same afternoon. I felt a bit of a zing from the criticism right in the moment, but overall the LSE's responses to both me and the events helped me feel better by minimizing my "failure" and providing gentle suggestion of how to improve.

I don't think I would've felt quite as good.

[Aramas]

I know all about that. I'm extremely sensitive about being dominated or bossed around. I absolutely cannot stand being around domineering or bossy people. They make me feel extremely uncomfortable. I guess because they force me to have to look at a part of myself that I cannot stand to look at (the part of myself that I feel is very submissive). It makes me feel weak, submissive, etc. I always try my best to not boss others around, because I know I can't stand it when others do that to me.

I also really dislike when people dismiss me or shut me down for having the feelings I have (like your SLE boss did to you).


I don't think I would've felt quite as good.

I have the same problem dealing with bossy people or domineering people. It's difficult for me to stand up to them. Sometimes, when I try to make a choice that should be a matter of preference, they will even start demanding "reasons" for why I made my choice. Uhmmm. Because I did. And if I'm dumb enough to tell them my "reasons," they will start trying to change my mind. I'm like... Bitch, no. My choice is my choice. STFU and GTFO. I'm awfully weak-willed sometimes, though and have a habit of going along with things for too long because I couldn't stand up to the other person, and then I snap on them. But I get blamed for snapping on them too, even though they knew they were pulling my strings. Go figure!

[Lord Pixel]

I have the same problem dealing with bossy people or domineering people. It's difficult for me to stand up to them. Sometimes, when I try to make a choice that should be a matter of preference, they will even start demanding "reasons" for why I made my choice. Uhmmm. Because I did. And if I'm dumb enough to tell them my "reasons," they will start trying to change my mind. I'm like... Bitch, no. My choice is my choice. STFU and GTFO. I'm awfully weak-willed sometimes, though and have a habit of going along with things for too long because I couldn't stand up to the other person, and then I snap on them. But I get blamed for snapping on them too, even though they knew they were pulling my strings. Go figure!

breath of fresh air to read. Yes. Exactly.

[Aramas]

breath of fresh air to read. Yes. Exactly.

They ask for reasons because they want to pry you open and make you vulnerable it seems like. Why? Why? Why? And then they go along trying to undo all of your reasons to get you to do what they want.

[Lord Pixel]

They ask for reasons because they want to pry you open and make you vulnerable it seems like. Why? Why? Why? And then they go along trying to undo all of your reasons to get you to do what they want.

It feels like a lack of respect, respect for your autonomy or something. And yea it feels very much like,...Bitch, no. STFU and GTFO.

[Beautiful sky]

I know all about that. I'm extremely sensitive about being dominated or bossed around. I absolutely cannot stand being around domineering or bossy people. They make me feel extremely uncomfortable. I guess because they force me to have to look at a part of myself that I cannot stand to look at (the part of myself that I feel is very submissive). It makes me feel weak, submissive, etc. I always try my best to not boss others around, because I know I can't stand it when others do that to me.

I also really dislike when people dismiss me or shut me down for having the feelings I have (like your SLE boss did to you).


I don't think I would've felt quite as good.

Which type LIKES being dominated? Not even SEE