How does it feel to be physically attractive ?

[Lotus]

I don't mean to be offensive at all... but breaking a girl's self esteem is often used by some guys as a means to an end.

What do you mean by "a means to an end" ? He used it as a means to have dominance over me.

People like that have a simplified understanding of the world and you shouldn't take them seriously. You probably already knew all of this, if not, then definitely after your experience.

Another thing often used by some guys is direct complements - most of them can't really think of a better way to grab a girl's attention. But some of them are probably sincere... ie. they wouldn't actually treat you like shit.

Yeah, that's my problem. I realize that guys are just being playful or flirting... but I can't let go of what happened to me, I guess. And what makes it worse is the fact that I RARELY interpret anything anyone says correctly... So I never know if they're kidding or not. I usually just assume they are, though... instead of getting pissy every time someone hits on me. That can get frustrating.

I know a few girls who seem to depend exclusively on their looks for feelings of self-worth. I don't think it's as uncommon as you seem to think. This one girl I know - she was assaulted by her father when she was young, and now she's pretty much a slut to put it bluntly. All her self-esteem seems to come from how physically attractive she comes across to guys. But she's a pretty insecure person really. She's kind of hostile towards girls, and suspicious of girls who are nice to her.

I don't think it's so incredible and horrifying that some girls should rely heavily on their attractiveness. When you think about it, it can be viewed as just another feature - like intelligence, kindness .... Don't get me wrong - I think it's sad when a girl's self-worth is entirely wrapped up in her looks - but I think it's understandable that some girls should come to rely on their beauty if that's what has always gotten them attention. Looking at it from their point of view - It works for them - why not use it? And they probably figure that the guy will get to know their 'true selves' in due course - that their beauty just serves to do the initiating so to speak.

Yeah I know what girls you're talking about. lol

When I said, "God, that pisses me off so much. How could someone honestly depend exclusively on physical compliments to consider themselves worthy? What causes that? I should look it up..." I meant like, WHY would someone be like that? Not... is there really people like that?

But yes, I know girls like that and it's interesting how differently people react.

When girls get taken advantage of, the reactions vary from feeling like they need the attention (completely shattered self-esteems ) to becoming distrustful of all affection and attention...