Yeah, that's true. I've never been attracted to good-looking hobos. Actually, I've never encountered one. Hmmm.... what does that say about me?
Hypocritical... I guess.
But about that... do you also consider people who MAKE themselves into pretty things more valuable?
(and off topic, but... the macbook air came out like a month after i bought my macbook. I was so pissed off. Egh. I HATE when that happens.)
Yeah, you're all right.
I think all we need is balance.
We need the people who find "natural" to be attractive. But we also need the people that enjoy improving themselves...
I've never settled for anything, really. ANYTHING can be improved... (new laptop, phone, house, friends, environments, etc...) but my priorities are different than others. I don't take as much care in my appearance as I do to my personal enjoyment. I'd rather blow my money on a vacation than on hair/skin products.
If someone finds me unattractive because of that... then good. The people that put all their effort into their looks need someone too
maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
go ask the frog what the scorpion knows
I think you are probably right about this. And because here in the West (East as well?) beauty is associated with youth, with each passing year (each day, even, people seem to think) an attractive person is a little bit less attractive than he/she was before. That's a lot of stress for someone who depends exclusively on his/her looks for self-worth. That's why people should put effort into who they are, building character and knowledge and skills and all of those things that will not only be there years from now, but that will be even better with time.
In short:
Outer beauty fades with time. (prevailing hegemonic view)
Inner qualities increase and improve with time and effort. (an almost constant truth)
And that's my sermon for today. Now, off for my mani-/pedi- appointment. (I'm kidding, but I wish I wasn't )
I attract people, yet I am one ugly motherfucker!
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
--Theodore Roosevelt
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-- Mark Twain
"Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
-- Confucius
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
--Theodore Roosevelt
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-- Mark Twain
"Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
-- Confucius
I've tend to find that those who say looks don't matter tend to be the ones who are actually good looking anyway. It's the ugly ones who realise how much of a hinderance it can be.
This reminds me of school..I was a late developer..I remember when I was 16, over the space of about 6 weeks I changed from being a bit short and stumpy to growing 5 inches and I was tall and kinda skinny and in good shape and more 'mature' looking and stuff. It was somewhat amusing to me to observe girls I had known for years, who had never spoke to me, all of a sudden stop to smile at me and start a conversation and say 'Hi Cyclops!'
Huh!
It depends on what they do to themselves if they paint them selves orange and wear frosty pink make up I would rather jump off a bridge than look at them.
Some people believe that their body is a canvass or an empty room and they take advantage of that. I like people who do this not because they want people to say "ZOMG you look so cool" but because they want to make something interesting. If they do it well I dig it.
Voted best beach in the world by yahoo 728 times!
It's interesting how many men say the like "natural" women but in reality, it takes a whole hell of a lot of makeup to look "naturally" attractive. I wear makeup but I don't do it to look hot or whatever. I do it to not scare the general public and I don't think it's excessive. It makes me feel better and that's really all that matters.
I've realized attractiveness has so much to do with how a person carries themselves. But in general, physical features that radiate distinctness and smoothly incorporated into the whole scene and give off character I think are generally attractive.
Attractiveness as far as the dating game goes is of relative little importance if you at least look normal--because really at that point it's just a numbers game. Place enough bets and one of them is bound to turn up as winnings.
But being chased by someone, something that is usually dependent on that person being attracted to you, is a confidence booster and I guess can make a person feel more secure/in control of themselves. An interesting thing I've noticed though is that security in one's self doesn't actually seem to correlate so much with looks as it does with temperament of personality. Some people, even if they're ugly as hell, are completely assured with themselves and can ooze self-confidence. So it doesn't seem to me that looks are the primary need for security in one's self and life.
"To become is just like falling asleep. You never know exactly when it happens, the transition, the magic, and you think, if you could only recall that exact moment of crossing the line then you would understand everything; you would see it all"
"Angels dancing on the head of a pin dissolve into nothingness at the bedside of a dying child."
very powerful post. I hope everyone respects and appreciates this.
I know a few girls who seem to depend exclusively on their looks for feelings of self-worth. I don't think it's as uncommon as you seem to think. This one girl I know - she was assaulted by her father when she was young, and now she's pretty much a slut to put it bluntly. All her self-esteem seems to come from how physically attractive she comes across to guys. But she's a pretty insecure person really. She's kind of hostile towards girls, and suspicious of girls who are nice to her.
I don't think it's so incredible and horrifying that some girls should rely heavily on their attractiveness. When you think about it, it can be viewed as just another feature - like intelligence, kindness .... Don't get me wrong - I think it's sad when a girl's self-worth is entirely wrapped up in her looks - but I think it's understandable that some girls should come to rely on their beauty if that's what has always gotten them attention. Looking at it from their point of view - It works for them - why not use it? And they probably figure that the guy will get to know their 'true selves' in due course - that their beauty just serves to do the initiating so to speak.
"Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."
What do you mean by "a means to an end" ? He used it as a means to have dominance over me.
Yeah, that's my problem. I realize that guys are just being playful or flirting... but I can't let go of what happened to me, I guess. And what makes it worse is the fact that I RARELY interpret anything anyone says correctly... So I never know if they're kidding or not. I usually just assume they are, though... instead of getting pissy every time someone hits on me. That can get frustrating.
Yeah I know what girls you're talking about. lol
When I said, "God, that pisses me off so much. How could someone honestly depend exclusively on physical compliments to consider themselves worthy? What causes that? I should look it up..." I meant like, WHY would someone be like that? Not... is there really people like that?
But yes, I know girls like that and it's interesting how differently people react.
When girls get taken advantage of, the reactions vary from feeling like they need the attention (completely shattered self-esteems ) to becoming distrustful of all affection and attention...
maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
go ask the frog what the scorpion knows
agreed. I have done this in the past, but only to break the ice or just joke around.Originally Posted by jrxtes
4w3-5w6-8w7
i seriously have done this before, jessica. i did this in turkey actually because i got sick of guys approaching me. my idea is that it would work well in cultures where marriage is still a union that is taken at least semi-seriously, which, tbqh, isn't many places anymore heh.
6w5 sx
model Φ: -+0
sloan - rcuei
Security and insecurity aren't a result of one's appearance (though one's appearance can be the result of security or insecurity).
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
--Theodore Roosevelt
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-- Mark Twain
"Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
-- Confucius
I have a question: To what extent do you limit yourself regarding people of the opposite (or same) sex whom you find attractive, if you think they are significantly more attractive than you are? Would you approach?
And why, exactly? (e.g. because you're intimidated, assume they're vapid, etc)
I always found that guys flirted with me more when I was wearing a ring on my left ring finger, presumably because they wouldn't have to worry about anything coming of it (or like you said because they want what someone else has).
If guys aren't talking to someone wearing a huge, obviously fake ring, it may be because they're afraid that person might be psycho. But whatever works.
.
I have no comment on my attractiveness. It was there when I was born, but I hid it with nerdy glasses and old man clothes.
Just now have I grown into an upstanding gentleman.
D-SEI 9w1
This is me and my dual being scientific together
You can do the best you can, but when it comes to persuading other people there is only so much you can do. As far as dealing with the guy involved, when we met, he knew what I would do to him and already started threatening to call the cops. At that point I had enough of the situation and basically told her that she was on her own.
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
--Theodore Roosevelt
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-- Mark Twain
"Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
-- Confucius
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
--Theodore Roosevelt
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-- Mark Twain
"Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
-- Confucius
.
Sounds like you have boundary issues to me.
She wasn't being attacked by him at that very moment, so it was her decision to be there. And don't forget, she taught him to treat her like that. It's unpleasant to think about but true nonetheless. Her wellbeing is (and only could be) her responsibility.
I'm not saying it's her "fault"... I don't think there's any reason to assign blame.
Last edited by Joy; 05-13-2008 at 02:03 PM.
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
--Theodore Roosevelt
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-- Mark Twain
"Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
-- Confucius
i love your makeup.
6w5 sx
model Φ: -+0
sloan - rcuei
I actually have no idea how to reply to this post. I mean, Nick says I'm attractive, but he's my hubby!
I dunno??
Am I??
Do/would I care?
Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .