Quote Originally Posted by dolphin View Post
What the hell? Cooking is not type related, and cooking is not caregiving. How is this even Socionics? Seriously. If it pisses you off so much that she comes over and cooks you food and tries to talk to you, ditch her. I'm sure some other person will be glad to come along and be her friend. Do you know how nice it is that she took time out of her life to come see you? And yet you're lying around complaining that she's not meeting your damn requirements? What makes you think you can order her around? She's a person too, with feelings and thoughts. My question is, why the hell is she still around when you act like that?


Have you thought that since she's your mom, your ability to analyze her objectively will be biased? Skewed? Did you know that in fact pretty much everyone whines about their moms at one point or another? Sure, be all "omg I hate my mom. She makes me do things. She gave birth to me, raised me. She's got years more of life experience than I do. But I'm going to be like a pissy little teenager and complain about what time she wakes me up." No one's stopping you.


What the hell? Their timing? What is the proper time, then? At your whim? At your command? Have you ever just stopped, and said "Hey, they're trying to do a nice thing for me, I'm going to meet them halfway?"



I've always found it interesting that people come on here and bitch about people they've typed as ESFjs. How do they know they're ESFjs? Because they're cooking for you, of course. And forcing their cooking on other people, of course. And singing "Whistle While You Work", of course. And being loud and obnoxious, of course. And of course, since they're ESFj, they have absolutely no idea of the horrors they're causing to others. "Oh. My. God. She's cooking again people! Run for the damn hills!"

Because that's all caregiving is, you know. Wiping someone else's ass while they complain that you've got the timing wrong.

Automatically associate those things with ESFj. Automatically associate those things with damn caregiving. Make Alpha SFs, especially ESFjs, sound like retards, because that's of course what they are, and then make entire threads whining about them and how they make your life miserable. It's ALL type related.
First off I think I have the right to determine what is appropriate in my life. I don't care if they are my mom or not. I am 24 years old, and I don't live with my mom. So yeah if my brother lets her in, and she decides to intrude on my living space at an inappropriate time I do have the right to be disgruntled. While I am sleeping is definately one of those times. She is not the only ESE I know, but I used her as an example because I've seen this trait in other ESE. You don't have to agree with me. However, I am observant and confident in my ability to type in socionics.

Secondly, just because someone is being nice does not mean they have good intentions. They could want something from you, something you just can't give. Or they want you to like them, but have no intention of actually being your friend. People can be manipulative. Just because someone says they are your friend, and do things a friend would do does not make them a friend. So your "meet them halfway" just because someone is being nice to you does not hold up. I have learned this the hard way several times. You may be right in most cases, but not every situation is sugar coated and that simple.

I imagine Anamericancer is uncomfortable because she thinks this girl wants her to reciprocate. Deciding how to do that, or even what to do, when somone else gives so much is difficult. Especially, even, if the person is a friend and you are worried if what you do will be enough to be seen as an equal friend. Personally I'd rather not deal with the psychological aspects of reciprocation. Not an easy thing for me. I think I know where Anamericancer is coming from hence the relavance of my posts in connection with her situation.

Thanks for your two cents though. I know where to go now if I ever need shit for and opposition to my personal sentiments.