Enneagram type Gilly
I realize that most people probably don't give a shit by now, what with all my self-re-typing :-P but I have a few questions about the Enneagram for anyone who is sufficiently knowledgeable.
Now, my approach to all typology is (in stark contrast with those like Phaedrus) to not take the surface descriptions as holy writ, but to instead look to the underlying mechanisms in order to find out what's REALLY going on. Thus, while, based on surface descriptions, I fit neither the typical picture of a 6 nor an 8, these are the two types whose basic natures apply to me the most.
6
Type 6: I have a need to find some viewpoint to refer to for my purposes. I love the idea of finding "one steady thing" to quell my anxieties. I am a bit of a "cause" person: I tend to absorb my self in one viewpoint, one way of life, etc., and give myself over to it as a way of finding this security. I like the feeling of always being able to refer back to some standard viewpoint for reassurance that I'm doing the right thing. I once wrote in my journal that I would love to be apprenticed to someone in some skill to learn everything about it and always have an expert to refer back to when my doubts become overwhelming.
Disintegration to 3: I have a great temptation to form an "image" as a way of creating in myself this "authority," this thing, whatever it is, that I can refer back to for security and reassurance that I'm "doing the right thing." And when I fall into this hole of image creation, I tend to get paranoid and defensive because I feel the need to keep this wall up. I use my ego and circular logical justification to prop myself up and make myself feel better about doing whatever happens to seem like a good idea at the time. It sucks.
Growth to 9: This is the part I identify with the least. I don't really know what it means to me. I'm generally good at keeping the peace, although once in a while my emotions take me over and I do things I regret, like being too honest about what I think of someone, or being inappropriately abrasive for the situation at hand.
8
Type 8: I am a leader. My groups of friends, wherever I am, tend to look to me to "lead the charge," so to speak: I organize things, I bring people together, and I know how to make things happen (when I can actually get off my lazy ass to do them :-P ). It's my natural position in any group; if I can't lead, I tend to sulk in the background and feel resentful to whoever happens to be "above" me, usually trying to get power of some kind, or even defame them if I'm feeling particularly nasty. I like to be in charge. I like being the one who people come to for answers. Being in a position of responsibility, where people are depending on me to fulfill some role or accomplish something, is what I am by far the most motivated by; when someone says "George, we're counting on you!", it's going to get done. The essential emotion of type 8 is anger; I've actually taken two MMPI tests, and I tested higher for anger on a neurotic level than any other factor that the test measures both times. I'm not generally an "angry" person externally, but I definitely have controlling tendencies that I believe are fueled by pent-up anger.
Disintegration to 5: I have a strong tendency to intellectualize things and rationalize my way around obstacles (case in point: trouble typing myself). I like an intellectual challenge, but I tend to take it too seriously/personally and I let myself be affected by things that are, in retrospect, trivial and really have nothing to do with me. This shows itself especially in psychology: I've done a lot of research on Lacan, Freud, and Jung, and I definitely have some lingering scars from taking things too personally. I tend to get lost in the "rabbit hole," if that makes sense to anyone.
Growth to 2: "And whoever shall be the chiefest, shall be a servant to all. - Mark 10:44 - This is how I try to live my life. I find helping others with their problems very rewarding. My friends have always seen me as an open, safe, and trustworthy person to come to when they need counseling or to just talk about their lives. I find that sharing my knowledge and letting my ego take a back seat to someone else's cause can be very rewarding. Sometimes I get a little carried away, hoping to solve ALL of someone's problems or seeing it as my responsibility to make sure they're "cured" once they've come to me for help, but generally I find advice giving very empowering, and supporting others instead of being Mr. Leader Man is both rewarding and humbling for me. I was elected "Group Leader" in rehab (teehee) primarily because I was a positive influence on people's recovery through giving advice and sharing experiences with my peers.
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Originally Posted by FDG
