Well that of course is the source of fear of mine, i certianlly see what your saying. Heres a few reasons i could think of where people could cheat in a good relationship.
a) They are ruthless and have seen a better relationship anyway. If you are with your dual they have met another dual who they like more and are willing to take that risk
b) they have some element of a personality problem, where they need sex or dont feel they are close enough to the other person.
c) The person just goes what the hell why not just go for it for fun and try to hide it.
d) The relationship just dims down and some element of boredom / unhappiness sets in
e) It happened because of some random chance encounter when they were really drunk
f) etc..
I dont deny these are definate possibilities.
I think
a) tough luck. The person chose someone else over you, telling them they did something wrong is gonna get nowhere because they are probablly more happy now anyway.
b) Thats their problem, unfortunately people like that probablly need psychological help and may never settle down until they do
c) um. I dunno some kind of crazy new age thinking. They obviously dont really care enough about the idea of relationships and /or you.
d) I suppose that qualfies for a shitty relationship (to some degree).
e) Probablly the most interesting one. I personally believe i have enough self control that no matter how drunk i am i know what im doing. No idea about other people tho.
I would just think that most of the time cheating has simpler explanations. I recon its likely they are in a poor intertype relation already. It seems to me generally when two people really do care for each other, cheating is unlikely to happen.
I dont even have a trying to sort them out policy. I just have a im dumping you and thats that policy. One of two things occurs.
a) They dont really care that they are not with you. Good luck to them
b) They do care greatly and want you back.
With a) theres really nothing you can do any type of making them feel guilty is unlikely to work as they are off getting wet with someone else.
b) is more interesting. At least being brutal to them for a long time/forever might actually teach them a lesson (which is what you said sereno).
I just read over my post and its total stream of thought nonsense. Its certianlly not perfect just use it for ideas please