ILIs-INTps do you dislike expressions of excitement and positive emotion?

[theMime.]

When people express excitement and positive emotion around you does it make you cringe a little? If yes, then would you mind listing specifically what kinds of things because I'm guessing there will be some positive expressions that won't bother you, like if you see someone smiling.

[BLauritson]

This is going to be a difficult one for me to answer, but here goes.. I think the important part is exactly how it's expressed, rather than what's expressed. It's like.. I dunno, perhaps a part of it is also about who it is who's actually getting excited or emotional or whatever. I'm not really sure how to explain it. But consider this - SEEs are known to get pretty excitable or emotional at times, which doesn't bother me in the slightest. If anything, I find it quite cute. But I really don't know how to explain the difference between this sort of excitability and the sort that would annoy me. Perhaps others would have more useful insights than I.

[liveandletlive]

This is going to be a difficult one for me to answer, but here goes.. I think the important part is exactly how it's expressed, rather than what's expressed. It's like.. I dunno, perhaps a part of it is also about who it is who's actually getting excited or emotional or whatever. I'm not really sure how to explain it. But consider this - SEEs are known to get pretty excitable or emotional at times, which doesn't bother me in the slightest. If anything, I find it quite cute. But I really don't know how to explain the difference between this sort of excitability and the sort that would annoy me. Perhaps others would have more useful insights than I.

i think i know what you mean... like you like liveliness>enthusiasm?

[Khamelion]

i think i know what you mean... like you like liveliness>enthusiasm?

basically, i think that is what he means....basically

....i mean...basically ;]



looks like it is the difference of Fe expression vs. Se expression (which is fueled by Fi (knowing what we like))

[BLauritson]

I was thinking about this this morning before I got up actually.. now I'm aware there might be unintentional bias in what I post next, so apologies to Fe-valuers since I'm not trying to demean Fe or whatever, but here goes. I think.. sort of the way I see Fe is that it's almost like.. projecting the emotion. I don't mean projecting in the sense of "I'm feeling angry, therefore I'm going to assume you're the one being angry", since I don't think that's necessarily type or function related. When I say projecting.. the best analogy I can think of is the same way a singer would project his or her voice forward to the audience. From my perspective, based on what understanding and experience I have with Fe, that is how it appears to me, and it's that sort of emotionality that would make me feel uncomfortable. Well, if it were positive emotion it would probably make me feel uncomfortable, if it were negative emotion (such as anger) I'd probably feel intimidated. I'm not really sure how to describe this difference between Fe and Se with Fi, but it definitely doesn't feel the same way from SEEs. It's a very subtle difference and I think that unless you were to see examples of the two different types in action, it would be difficult to understand exactly how they're different. Again, I know Fe-valuers might see Fe differently here, and like I say, I'm not trying to demean or ridicule Fe or anything like that, this is just what limited understanding I have of the function based on observing Fe-dominants in real life (I don't really notice the same from Fe-creatives, but I haven't really socialised with any Fe-creatives outside of work apart from a couple of work outings, so I don't know how that would manifest differently).

[misutii]

I was thinking about this this morning before I got up actually.. now I'm aware there might be unintentional bias in what I post next, so apologies to Fe-valuers since I'm not trying to demean Fe or whatever, but here goes. I think.. sort of the way I see Fe is that it's almost like.. projecting the emotion. I don't mean projecting in the sense of "I'm feeling angry, therefore I'm going to assume you're the one being angry", since I don't think that's necessarily type or function related. When I say projecting.. the best analogy I can think of is the same way a singer would project his or her voice forward to the audience. From my perspective, based on what understanding and experience I have with Fe, that is how it appears to me, and it's that sort of emotionality that would make me feel uncomfortable. Well, if it were positive emotion it would probably make me feel uncomfortable, if it were negative emotion (such as anger) I'd probably feel intimidated. I'm not really sure how to describe this difference between Fe and Se with Fi, but it definitely doesn't feel the same way from SEEs. It's a very subtle difference and I think that unless you were to see examples of the two different types in action, it would be difficult to understand exactly how they're different. Again, I know Fe-valuers might see Fe differently here, and like I say, I'm not trying to demean or ridicule Fe or anything like that, this is just what limited understanding I have of the function based on observing Fe-dominants in real life (I don't really notice the same from Fe-creatives, but I haven't really socialised with any Fe-creatives outside of work apart from a couple of work outings, so I don't know how that would manifest differently).

As an Fe-creative type I think I might know what you mean and don't see any reason why you should even bother trying not to offend people. Is it like you're irritated by Fe when it's coming off as "fake sympathy" so to speak, when someone pretends to care about something that they don't actually care about? Also maybe like telling someone something just to make them feel good, even if it's blatantly not true? or I guess when you feel like someone's actively trying to force you (directly/indirectly) to feel something that you just don't feel? These are examples of things that can annoy me as well, it's like undeveloped Fe

I'm asking because the way I see it every function seems different when used responsibly vs. with ulterior insincere motives. For example I only feel "Te-PoLR'd" when Te is used against me in a manner I find insulting and stupid - it's as if the person doing it is just doing it for their own vanity i.e. correcting me/telling me I'm wrong but just for the sake of doing it and with no inclination to explain why. On the other hand I actually seek Te critiques when I trust the person and their ability to articulate themselves (i.e. critiquing/correcting my resumee which I know is crap). I was wondering if you distinguish between 'good' and 'bad' Fe so to speak in a similar manner?

[aestrivex]

This is going to be a difficult one for me to answer, but here goes.. I think the important part is exactly how it's expressed, rather than what's expressed. It's like.. I dunno, perhaps a part of it is also about who it is who's actually getting excited or emotional or whatever. I'm not really sure how to explain it. But consider this - SEEs are known to get pretty excitable or emotional at times, which doesn't bother me in the slightest. If anything, I find it quite cute. But I really don't know how to explain the difference between this sort of excitability and the sort that would annoy me. Perhaps others would have more useful insights than I.

i basically agree with this.

[Quirk Satellite Div.]

When people express excitement and positive emotion around you does it make you cringe a little? If yes, then would you mind listing specifically what kinds of things because I'm guessing there will be some positive expressions that won't bother you, like if you see someone smiling.

No. I just don't know how to deal with it.

[Khamelion]

i feel as though i might have the perfect way to explain it but i can't get the words out =\

[misutii]

ETA: If glamourama turns out to be a Gamma I wouldn't find it totally surprising.

there is like 0.1% chance of glamourama being Gamma as I get the same annoyed feeling she expressed in regards to Fe sometimes and there's like 0.09% chance I'm gamma

The thing is that when IEIs like glamourama or I say something like "Fe can be annoying" it's different than when an Fe-PoLR type states it - for them it's not just something annoying that they can brush away, like a fly buzzing around a meal, but rather something potentially harmful that can leave a mark psychologically, more like poison hidden in a meal.

[theMime.]

Excitement and positive emotion is totally fine until they expect me to get involved

I wonder if this is the norm...

[theMime.]

I really doubt it. Have you ever been to a party with group activities in which many people willingly joined in with the merriment? They hardly seem like an unusual phenomenon.

Wait what? lol.

Oh I meant the norm for INTps.

But I dunno there are many other types (maybe all other types in fact) that wouldn't join in with the merriment for whatever reason. Like if I was in a bad mood then no I wouldn't join in with the merriment either.

This whole thing just came about because Niffweed mentioned in his vid that certain emotional expressions really make him (and other ILIs) cringe and I wanted to understand that better.

[aestrivex]

It's funny to me how the question asked in the first post is still not adequately answered (or at least not imo) Only blauritson actually made a truly detailed attempt.

I would really like to know what exactly it is about vs. that makes "all the difference" to ILIs. I observe SEEs (or um, myself? If I'm SEE) ... and well, they are always cheery, bubbly and LIVELY. That IS the perfect word to describe them. It's more like in their own world sort of emotion. dominants... well... they want to influence the moods of others. Maybe it's just influencing that bothers the ILIs?

it's not a simple question to answer.

This whole thing just came about because Niffweed mentioned in his vid that certain emotional expressions really make him (and other ILIs) cringe and I wanted to understand that better.

give me some more time to mull it over.

[theMime.]

Oh, my bad.



I think that, among other things, Fe-PoLR types may be consistently bored (or in some cases irritated) by people trying to get them involved in the merriment.



In the case illustrated in niffweed's video, I think it's that the abundant positivity clashes with the more pessimistic world view typical of ILIs.

Right. With ILIs it might be that it's much more consistent and frequent and with other types it might be more of an exception/rarity for them to not want to join the merriemnt.

I dunno. Is that it though? Are all ILIs really pessimistic though?...Isn't it more of just an awareness of probable negative outcomes instead of actual pessimism?

Need more data...

[BLauritson]

I dunno. Is that it though? Are all ILIs really pessimistic though?...Isn't it more of just an awareness of probable negative outcomes instead of actual pessimism?

I think in my case at least, I tend to have a more pessimistic outlook by default, but I'm in no way restricted to that. I think it's just that I can easily look at something in several ways and, perhaps because of negativism (not sure how much faith I put in that dichotomy personally), it just defaults to focusing on the negatives, so to speak. A good example I can think of is if someone I care about is worrying over some sort of issue, perhaps something they did for example, I can easily flip it over to show them the bright side, provided I deem it appropriate. I dunno, I'm not confident when I write this stuff purely because I'm not confident that it's all type-related, I keep thinking of other possible psychological reasons why I might do this. I'll have to think on this more. Which I blatantly won't because I'll forget all about this post as soon as I hit submit and close the tab since I'm so easily distracted.

[Khamelion]

I'll have to think on this more. Which I blatantly won't because I'll forget all about this post as soon as I hit submit and close the tab since I'm so easily distracted.

LOL

Even with knowledge of Socionics, if someone's polite or friendly towards me, I always (by default) interpret that as a sign that they have good intentions towards me and that they're essentially starting to form a bond with me, such as that of friendship for example. I'm very easily charmed for this reason. Which can be extremely detrimental if someone has negative intentions towards me but masks it with friendliness or whatever...I dunno, I get the feeling I'm not really describing anything exclusive to Fe-PoLR here, but what I'm trying to get at is that I find it very difficult to.. "see through the ruse" as it were. I dunno, I think I've veered away from Fe-PoLR specific now and am just describing general social naïveté here, which obviously isn't completely type-related.

yeaaaah, i have this problem too. i'm always genuine with people, i say what i mean (or at least TRY to, i am misinterpreted a great deal) and expect the same in return. after interactions, some of my Fe dominant or Fe (grubbing i like to call them) friends will tell me that i was way off the mark with the person and they were secretly thinking i was off-the-wall and completely nuts and just pretending to like me or tolerating me. when they tell me this i feel as though something in me has been hit...and i get pretty pissed off. i don't fucking understand why anyone would PRETEND that way. it just doesn't make sense. it's not helping anyone. i guess they think they're being polite...


its even worse if i liked the person.

[aestrivex]

Right. With ILIs it might be that it's much more consistent and frequent and with other types it might be more of an exception/rarity for them to not want to join the merriemnt.

I dunno. Is that it though? Are all ILIs really pessimistic though?...Isn't it more of just an awareness of probable negative outcomes instead of actual pessimism?

Need more data...

i think it's exactly as i explained: ILIs are pessimistic because they dislike effecting displays of positive emotions, not vice versa.

[theMime.]

i think it's exactly as i explained: ILIs are pessimistic because they dislike effecting displays of positive emotions, not vice versa.

wait what?
OH.
Ok so you're saying that ILIs are pessimistic because they don't want to create displays of positive emotion?

Are you simplifying? I thought it was that ILIs were PRONE to pessimism not that all ILIs ARE pessimistic.

[force my hand]

I think that, among other things, Fe-PoLR types may be consistently bored (or in some cases irritated) by people trying to get them involved in the merriment.

I can identify with this to a certain extent. I was at a wind-up the other night - and sober (I was driving) - any every once inwhile someone would be like, "hey force... WOOOOOO!!111" and I was all like, "hey, woo to you too, tuff guy".

[force my hand]

You were the designated driver? Good for you.

+100000000000000

I've grown really close to my school friends, but they're all douche-bags when drunk. If I don't look out for them, no one will.

[misutii]

I think there is also something in -leading (in ILIs, not so much in IEIs) that lends itself to pessimism. You have so much "perspective" that it's easy to start seeing everything as pointless.

As Dynamic types (a Reinin dichotomy I think is actually worthwhile, fwiw), ILIs tend to see the world around them as constantly changing, and as types their awareness of change is of a comparatively long timeline. Everything is seen as transient (I forget who wrote it but one of the ways in which the ILI is supposed to reassure the SEE is in reminding them that "this, too, will pass"), which is both a blessing and a curse, a source of of both reassurance and despair.

An ILI easily gets the idea that because nothing stands the test of time, everything is pointless anyway. Why even act?

I think I'm actually a fairly optimistic person, but even my optimism is based on this view of the world which I can only see as pessimistic.

Salawa, that was very eloquent! I like it. in IEIs is similar I think, but different in the sense that instead of the IEI being steadily pessimistic they use as a means of inspiring hope that things can get better. Of course consequences include escaping reality by living vicariously through another person, and periods of deep depression/isolation each time their method of realizing hope fails.

But I identify with this sentence especially:

nothing stands the test of time, everything is pointless anyway. Why even act?

[reyn_til_runa]

I think there is also something in -leading (in ILIs, not so much in IEIs) that lends itself to pessimism. You have so much "perspective" that it's easy to start seeing everything as pointless.

As Dynamic types (a Reinin dichotomy I think is actually worthwhile, fwiw), ILIs tend to see the world around them as constantly changing, and as types their awareness of change is of a comparatively long timeline. Everything is seen as transient (I forget who wrote it but one of the ways in which the ILI is supposed to reassure the SEE is in reminding them that "this, too, will pass"), which is both a blessing and a curse, a source of of both reassurance and despair.

An ILI easily gets the idea that because nothing stands the test of time, everything is pointless anyway. Why even act?

I think I'm actually a fairly optimistic person, but even my optimism is based on this view of the world which I can only see as pessimistic.

id mostly agree with this, but allow me to split hairs for a moment. i think rather than pessimism (which i don't readily identify with), it's a natural outgrowth of viewing the world (and one's place in it) trans-temporally. it is neither optimistic nor pessimistic, just "as it is" in context of how events flow in and out of each other and of how we as humans are prone to be observers rather than active participants. so, we too flow in and out of our lives, or should if we are striving to be objective.

it is as if, in my mind, there are ever-evolving "props" which give events their proper place, their proper duration, their proper value. the props develop and fluctuate as well, however, as a result of all sorts of factors. generally, i see them as representing the essential and sustaining value of something, as opposed to the present or immediate value of something, which really can't be determined by virtue of one's opinion or feelings about life and certainly can't be seen as a reliable means of gauging any substantial meaning. i guess it's an approach based on causation, primarily. that is to say: what is experienced today, since it results from has already been experienced, can't be evaluated as either good or bad. the goal for me is a sort of remainder of zero, a balance, and this basically translates into possessing less of the world and oneself, and observing more. i'm not saying there are no feelings involved, but that feelings take a backseat to allow for some overarching, emergent meaning to surface. to be attached to the meaning is to lose it.

[Logos]

Excitement and positive emotion is totally fine until they expect me to get involved, which will only make me bored or irritated depending on how close I am to the person.

ETA: If glamourama turns out to be a Gamma I wouldn't find it totally surprising.

If you were wrong in this case, I wouldn't find it surprising either.

[theMime.]

If you were wrong in this case, I wouldn't find it surprising either.

I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't surprised that you weren't surprised about her being un-surprised about you being un-surprised about her being un-surprised.

[Elro]

I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't surprised that you weren't surprised about her being un-surprised about you being un-surprised about her being un-surprised.

Well that's unforeseeable.

[Elro]

Oh wait, I mean surprising! Shit!

[Logos]

Oh wait, I mean surprising! Shit!

It wouldn't surprise me that you were surprised at your mistake.

[Logos]

You all suck.

Please tell us how you really feel about us.

[Logos]

?

I was being facetious.

[Froody Blue Gem]

As far as excitement goes, I'm reluctant to go all out on those types of reactions myself. I internalize moreso, and when people try to probe those types of things out of me, it's just not natural. I'm all for positivity, but it depends on how big and loud the expression is.

I'm happy for other people when positivity happen for them, but if the expression becomes too big and loud, it becomes overwhelming for me. I don't say anything out loud to them, but I keep my snarky comment in my head. People get lost in this type of unrestrained excitement. When people expect everyone around them to feel how they're feeling when expressing emotions, this is when it gets to the point of being at the overwhelming threshold.

[Lord Pixel]

I think a big difference with SEE Fe/ Se-Fi combo, is that there is not a requirement to reciprocate being hinted at when they speak to you Enthusiastically. Fe sometimes tries to inspire an emotion inside of you, the Fe user then waits and sees if you have been affected by their contagious emotion, and with Fi valuers it can fall flat and be outright unresponsive/confusing to an Fe valuer. SEE Se/Fi combo just feels like a loud self generated joy that exists without any need for you to reciprocate it back and it makes it feel nice with no pressure, almost like you have the choice to join in on their joy, and most people are compelled to, which creates that Fe effect. The independence of Fi emotions is more familiar and comfortable for Fi users than the need for collective shared emotions Fe can sometimes place on Fi's shoulders, which can feel like a burden, I imagine especially to Fe ignoring or PoLR.

Here's an example between the enthusiastic Fi (I think) and the Fe requirement.
I went to a new church one time with a friend, we were the youngest people there so the members looked at us like "Ohhhh young people" so some of them came up to greet us. The ones that I noticed with clear Fe were kinda like "Hiiiii! Nice to meet youuuuu! Where are you from?!" and I could feel this expectation that I had to respond with the same high pitched voice and enthusiasm they did while they stared at me and waited for my response with big eyes. It's not natural for me so I just kinda responded with how I honestly felt, more mellow and dry, and kinda trying to bring things back to my comfort level, because if I did try their way I would look like an idiot. Also their expressions came off like it had hidden agendas, I didn't see their expression at face value, what I actually saw was "We are being nice to you so you come back and join our church." so it felt kinda deceptive. But there was one guy that came up to us that was singing in the choir, and he was just happy, shook my handy in this happy mood, said hi to me and my friend in this really jolly deep resonating happy mood, and idk I felt comfortable with that guy, after he said hi and shook our hands he didn't stare me down to see if I would respond as happy as him, he said hi to us because he never seen us before and asked for nothing. There was also a guy who was a little more honest and said "Hey we don't see alot of young faces around here so come on back!" and cracked a smile, I felt more comfortable with that man as well since his intentions were clear and he didn't seem deceptive. When we left the couple of people who were very clearly Fe were still like "Nice to meet youuuu!!!! Would you mind filling out one of our visitor forms!" And they could see I was not into it anymore and I felt like they felt like they failed or something, I remember one guy looked confused like "Hey I'm being nice to you buddy! Come on be nice back!", but he wouldn't dare say that out loud. And that's not the only time that happened, one time a lady at another church I visited, saw I wasn't talking much, overreacted with every little thing I said to make me feel welcome and then hands me a mic to speak because I'm a new person, talk about being put on the spot to be made to feel "comfortable and welcome." Geez, but for her it was like she was not comfortable with how kept to myself I was, and she was trying to solve that like it was some kind of problem. She was an extreme case.


Ok I'm sorry, I gotta drop this other example because I intentionally sought out to see how people would respond. Long story short, I pretended to be an asshole at an event I volunteered for and Fe tried to come to the rescue.

For some weird reason I wanted to see how people would respond to me if I acted like an asshole, because I was tired of trying to get people to warm up to me, I wanted to see what it was like on the other side. So I rarely smiled when people talked to me, kind of faked a snobby "Don't talk to me" attitude. And guess what happens, Fe folk are trying to cheer me up, even people who are attending the event are trying to find out what's wrong with me and cheer me up. It was very strange since I didn't expect that reaction whatsoever. I did have a few people want to fight me though, but I had a number of people ask me "What's wrong, you had a long day?" but the icing on the cake was, at one point I was standing around looking extra peeved and this one woman whose working a booth, while she's talking to someone else says "You know whose awesome?" comes up to me and puts her hands on my shoulders and says "THIS GUY!", to try and cheer me up, she said it loud enough to quiet a few people in the room. To stay faithful to my "experiment" I looked at her with a dead pan face and just shrug, because I was slight confused, man the look on her face was the look of shock and defeat . That experiment felt like I was bleeding in a sea full of sharks with Fe, they could just smell the blood from a mile way.

[arigato]

And that's not the only time that happened, one time a lady at another church I visited, saw I wasn't talking much, overreacted with every little thing I said to make me feel welcome and then hands me a mic to speak because I'm a new person, talk about being put on the spot to be made to feel "comfortable and welcome." Geez, but for her it was like she was not comfortable with how kept to myself I was, and she was trying to solve that like it was some kind of problem. She was an extreme case.

I'm not an ILI but ESEs do this kind of thing so much to me too so I think it's an Ni polr thing. They're constantly trying to "bring me out of my shell" whenever I'm quiet or just thinking and it feels intrusive. Specifically the Si subtype ESE will have this uncomfortable look on their face around me if I'm not being gregarious enough by their standards. I'm like just let me be.

The Fe subtypes will do things like this..

this one woman whose working a booth, while she's talking to someone else says "You know whose awesome?" comes up to me and puts her hands on my shoulders and says "THIS GUY!", to try and cheer me up, she said it loud enough to quiet a few people in the room. To stay faithful to my "experiment" I looked at her with a dead pan face and just shrug, because I was slight confused, man the look on her face was the look of defeat and shock. That experiment felt like I was bleeding in a sea full of sharks with Fe, they could just smell the blood from a mile way.

LMAO

[Ibreen]

The Fe subtypes will do things like this..

LMAO

Not ILI but I’d hate this too? Their lack of exclusivity is what bothers me more. I associate that behavior more with SO/sp Fe, high pitched voices that sends shrills down my spine. Who are they trying to impress? Why are they treating me like a step to having more influence? Even EIEs do it, but it’s more subtle because they use Ni to eliminate who’s unnecessary, they don’t do it on a large scale so it’s never as cringe worthy.

The SO/sp LSE in my class doesn’t mind playing along to things like this. It reminds me of Hilary Clinton attempting to gain voters by appealing to teenagers in 2016. SO/sp EII and IEE self-degrade themselves and/or try to be unique and/or complain about how higher ups (self imposed hierarchy) exclude them despite them lacking chemistry.

I don’t mind Fe trying to brighten the mood so much as with WHOM their doing it with. Random person on the street trying to brighten the mood? Idk. Personally if I do that I’d feel cheap. I like value to my people so I would never associate myself with SO/sp ESEs.

[enmity]

Dredging up a topic that is over 10 years old... there really is nothing new to discuss. There is nothing new under the sun.

[voider]

Dredging up a topic that is over 10 years old... there really is nothing new to discuss. There is nothing new under the sun.

We like talking about ourselves, though.

[CowboyBibimbap]

Dredging up a topic that is over 10 years old... there really is nothing new to discuss. There is nothing new under the sun.

People learn, opinions change and more people join the forum (aka me). It's always refreshing to have new perspectives and give others the opportunity to join the topic late.

[guac]

I think my ILI father loves me for my expressions of excitement and positive emotion and bouts of silliness. But then again I am his daughter.

[Nairda]

I am only bothered by expression of emotion if I find it to be insincere or more often as a "formality." As I have been working in a drive thru I am in some ways required to do this myself but nonetheless I am still bothered by people acting overly thankful for me doing such a meager task for them.

On the other hand, expression of emotion with friends and family is a lovely experience a lot of the time - many of my interactions will involve humor and playfulness.. I mean, I'm not a robot

[End]

Only if it's utterly irrational and categorically stupid. And that goes for both positive and negative expressions. For example, there are many a video about nerds practically cumming themselves over a "new" installment of a franchise they practically/literally worship as a god. That's cringe, really and truly cringe for reasons I can wax on about for hours. That's a "positive" experience that I'd cringe at.

As for the negative, well, I've been called heartless for not crying at a funeral. Damned fools don't realize I cried long before then. I knew they were gonna die, I felt it in my bones. I had already shed all my tears before their death became official. I think that's a common misconception in regards to ILIs. The other quadras tend to see us as autistic robots who don't seem to feel anything. We do, but only a few people seem to get that. Only those we fully trust get to see us for who we really are. Rather emotional beings who only act robotic as a matter of convenience and expediency towards those we do not.

This goes double for men (of whom comprise the majority of those who are ILI). If you display emotional vulnerability as one, more often than not, you'll suffer for it greatly. The mirror works as well. Be "overly" rational and calculating such that you seem to be "cold" to a great degree as a female and ye will also suffer for it.

[one]

It's not like I dislike positive emotions. I just won't react to it. It is somehow expected a lot that you reciprocate and some people have told me I am too silent or too unresponsive. They only say that because I mostly stick to the facts when talking (except when joking of course), I don't show them affectionate gestures and Fe back. I tried doing that and I just cringed at myself. Every year I just stop caring less and accept myself. I mean, most of the time I really just feel neutral. It really baffles me when some people will be talking to a stranger and smile a lot and be very open. Like, I don't even know who this person is, why would I be that engaging towards them? Even at work, it's not like they are my friends or something? And most of the conversations are not something to be happy with anyway.

I cannot say that I enjoy it when people are too excited and positive in my presence. Most of those emotions are fake and most of them expect you to act similar to them. But for some people that I am close to, probably the Gammas and Deltas, I get naturally happy for them because it doesn't feel like they want to get emotional feedback from you. My way of being happy for them is just smiling for a bit and internalizing it. I don't think it's even obvious that I am happy for them.