ISFps do you initiate conversations over email?

[redbaron]

you know I've been thinking about this more and trying to put what's going on in my head into words. One thing is that generally when this happens it's me getting the impression (yes, entirely made up in my head from meaningless little clues (or sometimes not even)) that for whatever reason they don't want to talk to me. The last thing I want to do is force myself on someone who doesn't want to talk to me, no matter how bad I'm feeling, so that's why I don't just call them myself.

Hmmm, well I really don't see how he could ever think that I wouldn't want to talk to him. After all, I'm the one who is usually initiating the emails! I suppose all of this is my own fault for letting the relationship fall into this pattern in the first place. He expects it because I've trained him to expect it. Of course he wonders what's going on when I don't do what I normally do. blech.

[Creepy-bg]

Hmmm, well I really don't see how he could ever think that I wouldn't want to talk to him. After all, I'm the one who is usually initiating the emails! I suppose all of this is my own fault for letting the relationship fall into this pattern in the first place. He expects it because I've trained him to expect it. Of course he wonders what's going on when I don't do what I normally do. blech.

haha... yeah it really isn't fair. I agree... still though I do this all the time with my SEI friend. I don't particularly like this about myself but it happens.

[redbaron]

haha... yeah it really isn't fair. I agree... still though I do this all the time with my SEI friend. I don't particularly like this about myself but it happens.

Are you saying that you make your SEI friend initiate? Has it become like a pattern in your friendship? Okay. Well that's interesting.

[Creepy-bg]

Are you saying that you make your SEI friend initiate? Has it become like a pattern in your friendship? Okay. Well that's interesting.

yup... for me, it's because of those times when I have initiated and she doesn't respond I go into a tailspin wondering why. If I'm in a "dark" mood when that happens... oh man... it's like getting flushed down a toilet.

I think part of this is that my perception and understanding of the world (my friendships and all of it) is so dependent by what I'm feeling at that moment. So if I'm depressed, it's like, of course my friends all hate me and don't want to talk to me... I just don't know exactly why. If I'm feeling good, it's the opposite and there's no need to reasure myself of it. SEIs can be self centered creatures in some ways.

Also I'm probably not very emotionally mature (after 35 years I'm trying though )

[redbaron]

yup... for me, it's because of those times when I have initiated and she doesn't respond I go into a tailspin wondering why. If I'm in a "dark" mood when that happens... oh man... it's like getting flushed down a toilet.

I think part of this is that my perception and understanding of the world (my friendships and all of it) is so dependent by what I'm feeling at that moment. So if I'm depressed, it's like, of course my friends all hate me and don't want to talk to me... I just don't know exactly why. If I'm feeling good, it's the opposite and there's no need to reasure myself of it. SEIs can be self centered creatures in some ways.

Also I'm probably not very emotionally mature (after 35 years I'm trying though )

Well I'm 37 and the SEI I'm taking about is 10 years older than me and I think he sounds a lot like you, LOL I think I might know what SEI you're talking about. I remember a thread awhile back.....but we won't go into that here. I once didn't reply to an ongoing email conversation because I didn't think he'd reply back to my last one and I had to pick up my kid from school. Later when I saw him in person I got that weird look at first like "what's going on?" From my perspective, however, this is the most hilarious thing in the world because I have such a high regard for him and our friendship. I do get the mood thing though. Thanks for your thoughts on this, BG. I really appreciate it!

[redbaron]

....and thanks to everyone else who replied also! It was helpful to know that you all kind of agreed.

[Creepy-bg]