ISFps do you initiate conversations over email?

[Creepy-bg]

Well I guess I don't know for sure. I only know that he was looking at me and trying to figure things out. I know because that's what he does when he's not sure where he stands. He was feeling things out tentatively, I could hear it in his voice and see it in his face and eyes. It's hard to describe, you just kind of know these things about someone when you know the person. There was nothing else going on in our relationship that would have caused him to be that way towards me at that point. Does that make sense?

I totally understand that... and do it. When I get in that "mood" and there's a specific person I want to call me that isn't I start thinking all kinds of weird shit. I'm pretty sure I give off that same weird vibe when I first see them, but it wears off pretty quick once I'm around them and can interract in a way that assures me they weren't sitting around laughing at my psychic pleas on purpose. I usually laugh at myself afterwards for being so silly about it all.

[redbaron]

I totally understand that... and do it. When I get in that "mood" and there's a specific person I want to call me that isn't I start thinking all kinds of weird shit. I'm pretty sure I give off that same weird vibe when I first see them, but it wears off pretty quick once I'm around them and can interract in a way that assures me they weren't sitting around laughing at my psychic pleas on purpose. I usually laugh at myself afterwards for being so silly about it all.

Okay well this makes me feel better. Because I really think he does this and it helps me to hear that another SEI does too. Plus you're Si subtype also aren't you? And just like you said, it wears off quickly. I mean within a minute we're back to normal, talking and laughing as if everything's perfect. In any case, I should probably just make my peace with initiating emails since this is the way things are. But there's a part of me that would really love it if he would initiate on occasion.

[Creepy-bg]

Okay well this makes me feel better. Because I really think he does this and it helps me to hear that another SEI does too. Plus you're Si subtype also aren't you? And just like you said, it wears off quickly. I mean within a minute we're back to normal, talking and laughing as if everything's perfect. In any case, I should probably just make my peace with initiating emails since this is the way things are. But there's a part of me that would really love it if he would initiate on occasion.

I'd suggest waiting until they've gotten over that initial suspicion and shit's back to normal talking and laughing... then throw in what you're feeling in a joking but honest manner. Let them know lightly that you were sitting around wishing they'd call you the other day. They'll empathisize having just gotten over the same feelings themselves and might pick up some of the slack... then again... I can't say that I'm really thinking rationally when I'm in that mood. It's sort of a totally self-centered thing, like I just want to be assured that I have a friend who cares enough to call me (instead of me having to call them) ehh... I know, it's not very grown up thinking... but there it is.

[Creepy-bg]

and yeah...
me=Si subtype

[Mediator Kam]

Sorry BG.

[Creepy-bg]

Sorry BG.

what for? It's actually only my closest friends that I do this sort of thing with, not to say anything against you Kam... it's just that we aren't like best friends or anything, still friends though. Anyways... if it helps if it were me you could take this sort of thing as a compliment of sorts Redbaron.

you know I've been thinking about this more and trying to put what's going on in my head into words. One thing is that generally when this happens it's me getting the impression (yes, entirely made up in my head from meaningless little clues (or sometimes not even)) that for whatever reason they don't want to talk to me. The last thing I want to do is force myself on someone who doesn't want to talk to me, no matter how bad I'm feeling, so that's why I don't just call them myself. I'm not sure if any amount of reasoning or assurance would work to fix it. That's why I think my suggestion from above is the best solution. It sort of changes what it's all about. Plus, doing it like that gives those reasurances of good friendship without it being overt, which would probably make me a bit paranoid later.

[Mediator Kam]

I was saying sorry for being of the Si subtype. It was a poor joke.

[redbaron]

you know I've been thinking about this more and trying to put what's going on in my head into words. One thing is that generally when this happens it's me getting the impression (yes, entirely made up in my head from meaningless little clues (or sometimes not even)) that for whatever reason they don't want to talk to me. The last thing I want to do is force myself on someone who doesn't want to talk to me, no matter how bad I'm feeling, so that's why I don't just call them myself.

Hmmm, well I really don't see how he could ever think that I wouldn't want to talk to him. After all, I'm the one who is usually initiating the emails! I suppose all of this is my own fault for letting the relationship fall into this pattern in the first place. He expects it because I've trained him to expect it. Of course he wonders what's going on when I don't do what I normally do. blech.

[redbaron]

I'd suggest waiting until they've gotten over that initial suspicion and shit's back to normal talking and laughing... then throw in what you're feeling in a joking but honest manner. Let them know lightly that you were sitting around wishing they'd call you the other day. They'll empathisize having just gotten over the same feelings themselves and might pick up some of the slack... then again... I can't say that I'm really thinking rationally when I'm in that mood. It's sort of a totally self-centered thing, like I just want to be assured that I have a friend who cares enough to call me (instead of me having to call them) ehh... I know, it's not very grown up thinking... but there it is.

LOL Good advice. I could actually see that approach going over pretty well with him. If I end up mentioning it to him, I'll let you know how it goes. thanks