i've been on this forums plenty, and have read pretty much all the available socionics information(suprised?). Anyway, there has been so many threads where people talk about a type, and want input from this type, quadra etc. I never have anything to say, because one of the biggest parts of my whole personality is an inability to talk about myself. I can talk about myself, but in a different sense, i can relay funny stories, things that happened, even ideas about the world around me. but i just don't think in terms of myself and what constitutes my behavior.
this is a situation i'm always in: I'm reading a message about some socionics about a type i believe i may be, and i want to buck up and relay something about myself, but whenever i try to, it seems ridiculous and doesn't make sense. Anyway, another example of this behavior(and a good one) is i was just reading 'tcaulliq'(or whatever)'s reply to my thread 'for rocky...' he states "he certainly has that Dubya look," in reference to my digital photograph(which is in inspiration to rocky's cause!! aahahaha). Anyway, the first thing i thought about after reading this statement is the way politicians look in general, how their faces have to be either kind and ingratiating, or very homely/intelligent. the last thing i think about is how i might look like dubya, know what i mean?
Anyway, i have such a difficult time talking about my feelings or self to other people that when i do it's usually very stormy. Sometimes i think of saying things and tear up, it's just incredibly difficult to express really genuine emotion. I have a habit of saying "thank you" when someone says "i love you," to make clever analogy. this is one of the things that struck me about the ISTp description, the poor control of emotions. i have that to an insane degree. This is why i've never had a close friend in my life. I never open up, but people always go on and on about themselves to me, and i ask questions, and offer insight, i just don't see myself in the equation. I meet so few people who are like this that when i do, they are the people i feel truly comfortable with. It's gotten so much to the point that i don't even like being around my friends because of the way they relate everything to themselves, and have to talk about themselves in every situation. it's just dull. one thing i guess that works in example to this is if i am watching a movie with someone and they say "I like that character," it bugs me. that's just never the way i look at things. I just see that character, and what constitutes it's behavior, how it may relate to people i know, etc.
in summary: excuses for why i have nothing to contribute and how i have no feelings whatsoever.