i'm not against SEE, but is ESE possible? also, while i couldnt ever see you as IEI, i forget what the problem with EIE was.
how do you get along with INTjs and INTps?
i'm not against SEE, but is ESE possible? also, while i couldnt ever see you as IEI, i forget what the problem with EIE was.
how do you get along with INTjs and INTps?
whenever the dog and i see each other we both stop where we are. we regard each other with a mixture of sadness and suspicion and then we feign indifference.
Jerry, The Zoo Story by Edward Albee
ESE ... lol, is definitely NOT possible. I put no value on at all. You could never see me as IEI? Why not? This is interesting.
EIE - well, I don't know ... I just switched back to IEI because I thought I was really more introverted and needed an extravert dual. Then again, I did this "switch" when I was in the depths of depression and wasn't doing much at all. I mean, I just don't think it's right that when I'm "depressed" I identify with IEI and then when I'm "happy" I am really EIE/SEE ?
Well, my last relationship was with an LII... ok that was a disaster and a half. We still to this day can not communicate with one another. This was the time I actually believed him to be ILI and I think I behaved extremely like an SEE and it was horrible for both of us. He hates and needs ... I thought I was an EIE then, because I did try and provide some after I figured out he was LII, but after a while, I got SO sick of it. I HATED having to exert myself like that and spew out ...
I think he tried to mold himself to fit my needs, my love of and all. I always tried to get him to DO THINGS, get out there, and he was very wishy washy and resistant. Our whole relationship broke apart because of this very thing! I needed someone more receptive ...
Another funny thing is that while I do identify with Victim, I ACT like an Aggressor for nearly all my relationships ... I think - "Okay, I like this person, I'm gonna get them no matter what.."
There's a lot more ... that's going to offend Alpha quadra Alpha values annoy me a lot, I don't know why I believed I liked this quadra before. Maybe I had the wrong idea, but since the recent influx of SEIs, I go on the sub-forum place and ... wow, I have huge headaches just reading the stuff they talk about. It seems senseless to me, just rambling.
Also, I don't like real life Alpha quadra members, the way they interact in groups seems very cheesy to me, and way too focused on being "comfortable" and "nice" to eachother. Everyone seems so fluffy and innocent, aka boring.
I can't say I have any experience with ILIs in real life. I don't think I have ever come into close contact with one. Come to think of it, I have not had much interaction with Gamma quadra at all. They seem very rare, except for the SEEs LOL. Yeah, I am really good friends with two SEEs, we seem to gel and "get eachother" and surprisingly enough, I am not annoyed by them as I am with EIEs or IEIs. I thought that annoyance came from seeing someone like myself ... but is it right to be annoyed by your own type/mirror type?
Okay, too much for now, brain needs rest. Body needs movement!
couldn't see dominance
well, i think this is probably fairly common. depression is expert at convincing a person that the mood has become them and there is no escape. same with feeling extremely happy, confident, whatever. as one of the effects of depression is isolating oneself and needing someone to get you out of the rut, then seeing an extravert dual at that point makes a lot of sense.EIE - well, I don't know ... I just switched back to IEI because I thought I was really more introverted and needed an extravert dual. Then again, I did this "switch" when I was in the depths of depression and wasn't doing much at all. I mean, I just don't think it's right that when I'm "depressed" I identify with IEI and then when I'm "happy" I am really EIE/SEE ?
are you often a chameleon in relationships? if so, why?Well, my last relationship was with an LII... ok that was a disaster and a half. We still to this day can not communicate with one another. This was the time I actually believed him to be ILI and I think I behaved extremely like an SEE and it was horrible for both of us. He hates and needs ... I thought I was an EIE then, because I did try and provide some after I figured out he was LII, but after a while, I got SO sick of it. I HATED having to exert myself like that and spew out ...
its hard to say what was going on there because you havent said much about HOW you tried to provide Se activation.I think he tried to mold himself to fit my needs, my love of and all. I always tried to get him to DO THINGS, get out there, and he was very wishy washy and resistant. Our whole relationship broke apart because of this very thing! I needed someone more receptive ...
hmph. well, i guess what aggressor doesnt in some way identify with their victim?Another funny thing is that while I do identify with Victim, I ACT like an Aggressor for nearly all my relationships ... I think - "Okay, I like this person, I'm gonna get them no matter what.."
whenever the dog and i see each other we both stop where we are. we regard each other with a mixture of sadness and suspicion and then we feign indifference.
Jerry, The Zoo Story by Edward Albee
I think this is more beneficial then the theoretical stuff you can get exposed to and mull over. As in your actual relationships and experiences. I think it would be good to describe the problems that arise in your dealing with people, to describe the relationships, the other people. This will give us an insight into your IM functioning with other people.
Well guys, I have no idea how to do the whole quote by quote thing ... so I'm gonna try and remember your questions.
snegledmaca - Yes, I acted like that. That's how I want to be. I actually have dreams (sounds weird) of being like that again, carefree, just partying, socializing ... *sigh* I don't even know what happened, I spiraled downwards and now I basically don't get out at all anymore because of the depression. I think I'm still in a rut right now, but maybe it means something that I pine so deeply to go back to "who I was."
reyn - I can't really say I'm a "chameleon" in relationships ... ? Well, maybe I tried to mold myself into something else because I like a person so much ... but that is definitely something that arises from using Socionics in a stupid way. I know now that I can't change myself because when I tried to be an EIE for the LII, it tired me out a lot. The use of , that is. I don't even think I like , to be honest ... I'm so confused agh! I don't know if I had the wrong idea about it. A lot of the stuff I'm reading about now, especially that Kristiina writes, makes no sense to me.
Aguhhhh, and I've never done well with theory hahaha. So there's no danger of me "theorizing" Most of my explanations for my type DO come from real life experiences and what I observe about myself and my relationships with other people. I also like the way the LIEs and ILIs explain things on this forum. But that might not really mean much anyway, it's just clear.
Okay. Um, my relationships at the moment ... well, I have a close circle of girl friends that I connected with this year (to my surprise) consisting of an LII, an ESE, and two LSIs. Yes, based on this, it is very difficult to support my being SEE.
However - I do not and have never felt entirely comfortable with this group, despite being with them most of my time in school. In truth, they drain the life out of me, but seeing as it is my final year of high school and my old group of friends have all left and graduated, I am sort of "stuck". I am by no means demeaning them or undermining their value towards me. I love them dearly and without them, I would most likely be pretty much a loner. Or not - actually, I think I'd know how to fend for myself and make new friends. It's just that I don't feel like doing so because there are only so few months left and I'm never going to see these people anymore. It takes work to "infiltrate" a set clique of people, especially when these cliques have grown and strengthened in the 4 years of high school.
My old group of friends that graduated... well, I got close with them sort of by fluke. Grade 10 & 11 were definitely the happiest times of my life. I finally felt like I'd found a set of people compatible with me. They were much more fun-loving and outgoing, which these girls are not. That's the problem - I'm consistently bored on the weekends because I used to have so many things to do, so many events to go to and people to socialize with ... now I don't. Anyway, these people were mostly IEEs interestingly enough, and there was an ILI in the mix, as well as a couple of IEIs. I was never close with the ILI, actually I am not sure if he is ILI ... but the others I'm sure of. I got along swimmingly with all of them, and I guess I enjoyed the attention they provided me since most of them were males and I was usually the only female. That's another thing - I love the company of males and have realized I am competitive with basically every single female I set my eyes on. It's pretty unhealthy, but I think it has roots with my bad relationship with my mom.
I notice that I like people who are either Ixxp or Exxp temperament, because I feel like I can really let loose and stop containing myself as I have been containing myself for so long. This is destroying my sense of self really, I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. I'm around too many boring Ixxjs. I think my "shadow" is coming out - like I'm forced to introvert lately and it's really killing me.
I notice that I actually DON'T offer as readily as ego types do. The way they impose themselves on other peoples' emotions is just irritating. I'm not happy, so don't try and make me happy or even cheer me up. I would rather just talk about it maybe, not smooth it over with fake happiness. I don't like fakeness, but who does?!
My parents constantly tell me to be smile more and be more friendly because apparently I am not whenever I meet their friends, etc. I abhor it when they tell me to do that because I don't sacrifice my inner feelings to create an external mood for other people just because "it's the right thing to do" in a social situation. I think that is the clearest example of how I value - although I am very bubbly to people I like and whatnot. I am actually heavily against "faking" any kind of emotion to get by... if I feel like shit, I feel like shit and you're going to know about it because I'm not going to hide it just for the sake of keeping you happy.
Also, I do not think I even understand much because I've been so concerned with thinking about what is and how I demonstrate that function, where it could easily be that I've been mistaken.
People that complement me :
Eccentric and alternative people. I love anyone bizarre - something to spark my interest, especially people that seem twisted or "dark". I LOVE that! I want to get to know them more, because they really fascinate me. I'd say they complement me because I'm really a very twisted person myself and to have the company of someone who won't shun that and will embrace that is nice. I value ambition in others and like those unafraid of being ruthless when it is necessary to be. People who seem a little battered and broken or even 'cut-off' from the world interest me because I see myself in them. I wouldn't feel so alone.
Another thing - if I were in a romantic relationship with someone, I would definitely want them to be almost a loner (lol) ... I'm so selfish that I want them all for myself, so that I know they will never run away or find someone else. Kinda like I "own" them and only I can give them that special love... yikes, I sound disturbing.
People that annoy me - Basically the opposite of all that I said above. Closemindedness, but that's a given for most people right? I mean, no one would say that they value closemindedness.
I don't really like extraverts - it's like they steal my rightful spotlight and I don't want to compete for attention. Oh, also - I don't like emotional, overly gushy people especially in relationships.
My approach to life? I don't really know, I don't have any set rules or anything about it. I see life as an adventure, a mission. During this stage of my life, I have come to face a huge obstacle that I need to get over, but I still believe that willpower is the key and that I WILL get over it. I just like seeing everything as a challenge because it makes things more meaningful and easier to accept (especially the difficult times.) I think going through rough times strengthens people, and that it is necessary for a really developed person to have gone through the worst of the worst to really experience the best of the best. A lot of the most highly creative and ingenious people have had troubled pasts, and I guess I relate to those that are suffering. I hate hate hate those born with silver spoons in their mouths ... it frustrates me to no end that these people have barely anything to get over. Some things just do not seem fair.
I think that a person has to be REALLY mindful of their goals. I am a huge goal setter and always think about accomplishing things in the near/distant future. I always keep something in mind to spur me on, especially when I feel like the present just sucks ass. That's why I also dislike people who float around without any plans about the future, just too stuck on the present moment.
OMG kudos to whoever reads this entire thing. I liked typing it up - it spilled out "poison" inside me that I wanted to get out anyway ... not enough me me me for this forum yet
most of this i'm not inclined to take entirely seriously, because it depends upon your having typed all of these people correctly. but if they were -- on the whole -- typed correctly, all of this would make perfect sense. one thing that is of note is that it's much more about the kind of people you're with; the emphasis that you're placing on why the groups didn't work does not seem to be related to the Fe sort of feel of the group. an Fi creative who was around people that didnt seem very engaging or responsive to what they were interested in -- it would be easy for me to see how that person would get bored quickly.
this sounds very Fi > Fe, obviously.I notice that I actually DON'T offer as readily as ego types do. The way they impose themselves on other peoples' emotions is just irritating. I'm not happy, so don't try and make me happy or even cheer me up. I would rather just talk about it maybe, not smooth it over with fake happiness. I don't like fakeness, but who does?!
My parents constantly tell me to be smile more and be more friendly because apparently I am not whenever I meet their friends, etc. I abhor it when they tell me to do that because I don't sacrifice my inner feelings to create an external mood for other people just because "it's the right thing to do" in a social situation. I think that is the clearest example of how I value - although I am very bubbly to people I like and whatnot. I am actually heavily against "faking" any kind of emotion to get by... if I feel like shit, I feel like shit and you're going to know about it because I'm not going to hide it just for the sake of keeping you happy.
you do realize what you're describing here?People that complement me :
Eccentric and alternative people. I love anyone bizarre - something to spark my interest, especially people that seem twisted or "dark". I LOVE that! I want to get to know them more, because they really fascinate me. I'd say they complement me because I'm really a very twisted person myself and to have the company of someone who won't shun that and will embrace that is nice. I value ambition in others and like those unafraid of being ruthless when it is necessary to be. People who seem a little battered and broken or even 'cut-off' from the world interest me because I see myself in them. I wouldn't feel so alone.
one thing that's interesting is that liveandletlive once told me something strikingly similar about how she wants to sort of assert control over all of her relationships and make them subservient to her. that was the first thing i noticed that i really associated with SEE when going through this description. and i think that if done correctly an ILI would respond very well to your "owning" them, because it brings with it a sort of intimacy which is perceived as being the only "real" kind of social interaction, in a way.Another thing - if I were in a romantic relationship with someone, I would definitely want them to be almost a loner (lol) ... I'm so selfish that I want them all for myself, so that I know they will never run away or find someone else. Kinda like I "own" them and only I can give them that special love... yikes, I sound disturbing.
here's where the Se focus really comes into play. emphasis on overcoming obstacles, on self-imposing willpower into one's life, and suggestive Ni in terms of plans about the future and trying to see what the future might be like.
My approach to life? I don't really know, I don't have any set rules or anything about it. I see life as an adventure, a mission. During this stage of my life, I have come to face a huge obstacle that I need to get over, but I still believe that willpower is the key and that I WILL get over it. I just like seeing everything as a challenge because it makes things more meaningful and easier to accept (especially the difficult times.) I think going through rough times strengthens people, and that it is necessary for a really developed person to have gone through the worst of the worst to really experience the best of the best. A lot of the most highly creative and ingenious people have had troubled pasts, and I guess I relate to those that are suffering. I hate hate hate those born with silver spoons in their mouths ... it frustrates me to no end that these people have barely anything to get over. Some things just do not seem fair.
I think that a person has to be REALLY mindful of their goals. I am a huge goal setter and always think about accomplishing things in the near/distant future. I always keep something in mind to spur me on, especially when I feel like the present just sucks ass. That's why I also dislike people who float around without any plans about the future, just too stuck on the present moment.
Hmm. Expat and Logos are two people on the forum that are good at explaining things. Which of them do you find explains things better in a way that works better for you? (This might not help it mean any more than it did before).
Would an SEE find EIEs and IEIs annoying? I could maybe see EIE... but IEI is the SEE's semi-dual.
As I have already cautioned you, be wary of how psychological states and relationship values affect your self image, and who you want to be to get what result you really want. Always try to be mindful of how much you are bending things - easier said than done though.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Welp, after reading all that I'm thinking you could be SEE. I doubt you're EIE at any rate, since nothing you wrote there irritated me, which is something I often feel at some point or another when reading the writings of EIEs. Oh well, hopefully they find me just as annoying. But yeah, I haven't seen anything that goes against SEE in what you've written so..
I can't vouch for others, but I've always liked Gamma NTs. It takes longer for me to warm to other ILIs (well, I say that, there's only one other ILI I currently know well enough to have warmed to in the first place, so I don't know if that's a general rule or not) but I tend to bond with LIEs a lot quicker IME. Do you know any ESIs? If so, how do you feel about them generally?
More evidence for SEE (not so much the first sentence, but SEEs tend to be pretty physically active people IME).
ILI (Indescribable Lovemaking Inc.)
5w4 so/sx
"IP temperament! Because today's concerns are tomorrow's indifferences!"
Lord Fnorgle's Domain - A slowly growing collection of music, poetry and literature.
Stickam music performances
LOL EIEs annoying? ... Say it ain't so!
But just FTR, I can't say I'm that physically active anymore .. but again, that has more to do with my mental state than my real "self" imo. Also, my mother may be an ESI but that I am not sure of. Her and I do not get along, she always nags at me. She is too much of a rational neat freak, that's why. Other than that, I know no ESIs. It's really weird how I know so little Gammas =[ In order of # of people from each quadra I know IRL it would probably go Alpha > Beta > Delta > Gamma