Mirror Relations: Stories and Experiences

[Cosmic Teapot]

I was friends with an ESFp for seven years (we know each other for 12 years).


I liked her a lot when she was quiet and really kind. I needed someone who was more confident than me, but when I stopped to behave like a doormat our friendship fell apart really quickly.


I'm not an ILI who is ok with a secondary position under the wing of the SEE.
When a think that I'm being treated unfairly or with blatant disrespect I show resistance but because ESI are ok with winning from a moral perspective, the SEE need their opponent to back down completely (and to apologise for not accepting SEE's authority!).


They don't stop until they've won and would act in ways that I would never permit myself. As soon as all conflicts are over SEE usually try to reconcile by being charming, giving much attention or making everything into a cruel joke


Also the ESFp I know love to brag. They love attention and while I don't see anything wrong with that I'm tired of it.
From an Fi-leading perspective they only think about themselves and how they can get more attention and influence. They make others accomplishments seem small, are prone to jealousy and drama when they feel that their own moral-standards (which I find childish and underdeveloped) are not met. They allow themselves everything and never admit ethical mistakes. They are only fair when it suits them.


Obviously not all ESFp are like that and my own leading function makes me biased.


But I find Fi-creative scary; It bends "the rules" (my own standards) and draws quick conclusions about things I would think over in detail.
Like considering multiple perspectives; my own feelings, others intentions,... , and if I have the right to judge.

SEE don't do that but they are more forgiving and have more people who like them because of that (and their optimistic and lively nature).


I would still make friends with ESFps though. They're fun to be around and most of the time their intentions are good. They express themselves differently and I think that helps me to not claim the moral high ground everytime.

[BuddyL]

I've been in a mirror relationship with an ESE for about 2.5 years, and a lot of what was said here is true. We started off with lots of misunderstandings and ups and downs, however, after it reached a certain point, all arguments subsided and it kinda just reached a plateau and stayed there. It's been pretty smooth ever since. I'll admit it's gotten a bit dry, but it's not a bad relationship by any means. There's a lot of mutual understanding and support from both sides, just not the most "sparkly" of relationships.

I'll list out the positives and negatives of the relationship.

The pros:
- It's a very comfortable relationship. I can be my full self around him without any judgment.
- We find we generally understand each other and agree on most issues.
- We enjoy doing the same things together, which makes the relationship fun and relaxing.
- We can have very deep and interesting conversations with no miscommunication issues.
- We hardly ever fight, and if we do, it's usually short-lived.
- He's just enough different from me to make it a balanced relationship.

The cons:
- The relationship can lack passion and excitement.
- We don't have sex very often, as a result of a lack of passion.
- He's a great guy and I love him to bits, but at times I can find him a bit boring.
- His high energy levels can be overwhelming.
- As an introvert and extrovert, we have differing needs when it comes to seeing each other. He wants to see my all the time, I need my alone time.

In my opinion, it's definitely a more positive relationship than a negative one, however, the negatives must be worked on for the relationship to last. The best part about this relationship for me is that I'm able to be best friends with my partner, and we can appreciate and understand each other as individuals. The friendship part of this relationship is amazing.