Originally Posted by
willowglass
Hm. I don't know, Chae. It's hard for me to say. Honestly, I have 3 kids under 10 and I used to spend a lot of time thinking, and I felt more in touch with myself then. Now my life is such a whirlwind that I feel like I'm constantly going and I don't have time to stop and think, which has left me a bit more blinded than I used to be.
I get worked up now-a-days mainly when I don't feel like I'm being listened to or harassed, just because of where I'm at in my life right now. It's really annoying when someone tells you they want another popsicle 50 times in a row and they won't listen when you say no, for example. Yeah, and I get really mad and it puts me in a horrible mood.
I used to be more focused on other things, like I had a huge complex about being called weird. I guess I still do, but it doesn't cut as deep as it used to. Everyone I know basically thinks I'm weird. I felt really ostracized as a child because I was weird. My mom acted like anything weird was bad. I was a pretty morbid child. And it made me cautious about making friends because I didn't feel acceptable or that something was wrong with me.It kind of makes me think I could be a social 4.
I changed my image when I was 17 and tried to be someone else. Someone more normal. I started dressing more normal. I hate nursing, but I changed my major to nursing when what I really wanted to major in was something like mythology or literature. It took a while to run its course, but now typology has kind of given me an identity crisis. I've been trying to just be myself lately, but I feel like who I am is flawed. I'm really apprehensive about being a disappointment. I don't like when people expect things of me because I feel like I'm going to let them down. I tend to crack under pressure. It gives me a lot of anxiety. And I can't take it when I think people hate me. When they do, I feel like I have to fix it. I could never be famous. I wouldn't be able to handle the criticism.