Originally Posted by
Diana
I know what you mean Sereno.
I am of the opinion that if two half people come together, they don't create a healthy whole person. If you're looking for a dual to fill holes for you, to take on what you can't and to be what you need - you're kind of like a parasite looking for a host. If the other person is doing the same, you've got two parasites draining each other.
On the other hand, if you are a healthy whole person working on filling your own holes and choose to be with someone not because you need them, but because you actually like them, and they the same, you both add to each other's lives.
Point is, a dual never "completes you", and looking for someone to fill gaps in your life could be setting you up for an unhealthy dependency. However, I think I'm aware of what I want in a relationship, and the most important ingredient is mutual respect. If either person doesn't respect the other it cannot work. So, I do know what I want, but it's not a specific list, and any list I've made in the past likely no longer applies.
Their dual-seeking block? What do you mean by fulfill? I guess if I feel like I need some TeNi to solve a problem - I just read things on the subject, and find good advice. If someone needs TeSi, they can hire someone, read, set aside Si time to take care of themself, whatever. Someone needs Fi, they develop good friendships with others and so on. We all do manage to survive without a partner . . . Life should be better in a relationship, not meaningless and hopeless without one.
If you can't take care of yourself and your own needs, and you'e expecting someone to do it for you, there's a problem. Which isn't to say that dual partners can't or don't enhance each others lives or can't make things easier for each other.
I see for instance Slacker_Mom's relationship as her and her husband working as a unit, both doing what they do best. But I'm pretty sure she didn't marry him because she needed him.
Of course people have problems, but that doesn't make them half a person. Imo, those looking for someone else to solve their problems for them are not ready for a relationship. I desire others, friends, and so on not because I'm empty without them, but because I like them. I think we bring something good to each other's lives, but our worth or completeness isn't tied to anyone else.