EIEs/ENFjs feeling isolated and left out of groups

[idealistichick]

So today I was hanging out with all my friends. They pretty much just sit there and laugh. I try to join them in the conversations and somehow I end up alone while they are having the time of their lives. They started asking me today why I tend to isolate myself alot of the time. Do other EIE's do the same thing?

[Angel Alliterator]

I occasionally feel left out in many group situations (even if I was the one to arrange it or lead to it). The reason is that the ENFj is self-sacrificing feelings and this leads to feeling lonely and isolated from others (even when they are around you).

This is not unusual for an ENFj.

[lefty]

So today I was hanging out with all my friends. They pretty much just sit there and laugh. I try to join them in the conversations and somehow I end up alone while they are having the time of their lives. They started asking me today why I tend to isolate myself alot of the time. Do other EIE's do the same thing?

oh hells yeah. oh you betcha. im the queen of isolation. as a child i had my head up the clouds...total fantasy world....a couple of loner friends all my life except one enfp i befriended who became quite gregarious over the years as she grew up.

groups of adults can and have overpowered me...groups is social situations not as much (as opposed to work). i think its good to look for activity partners to losen you up social (ESTP) and the dual to fortify that and the infp i dunno...they can help us look at things differently. maybe if you can find an ESFP to tag along with and benefit...but be weary.

peace

[idealistichick]

oh hells yeah. oh you betcha. im the queen of isolation. as a child i had my head up the clouds...total fantasy world....a couple of loner friends all my life except one enfp i befriended who became quite gregarious over the years as she grew up.

groups of adults can and have overpowered me...groups is social situations not as much (as opposed to work). i think its good to look for activity partners to losen you up social (ESTP) and the dual to fortify that and the infp i dunno...they can help us look at things differently. maybe if you can find an ESFP to tag along with and benefit...but be weary.

peace

My group of friends consist of one ESFp, two INFp's, an ENFp, and someone who might be ISTj. I tend to get caught up in my own world regardless.

[tiny_dancer]

(way off topic - but I like your sig quote, onetreehilluver - i feel very much like that myself recently...)

[liveandletlive]

groups of adults can and have overpowered me...groups is social situations not as much (as opposed to work). i think its good to look for activity partners to losen you up social (ESTP) and the dual to fortify that and the infp i dunno...they can help us look at things differently. maybe if you can find an ESFP to tag along with and benefit...but be weary.

[Red Sky]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImoMGyJjWIk

LOL, she is funny. Nice to see another Bostonian in here. I am from Revere.

[liveandletlive]

LOL, she is funny. Nice to see another Bostonian in here. I am from Revere.

ahhh u shud join our socionics club!

[Red Sky]

ahhh u shud join our socionics club!

You guys have one? That would be interesting but I am not too familiar with Socionics may be you guys can teach me some.

[lefty]

i notice you relate as an observer, in enneagram, as do i. i wonder if with you as a 6 and me as a 4 that we do it for different reasons or what.

[lefty]

machintruc posted about all the types in the alternative topics section...thought it might shed some light...people haven't reacted to it well, but i think its interesting:


468 - Reactive Triad

- Moody, unstable
- Hostile, hard to socialise with
- Non-adaptive behaviour, seek conflict with the world in order to "educate" it
- Seek physical conflicts, more prone to seek conflicts for conflicts themselves instead of their benefits
- Egocentric, narcissistic : "everyone should help themselves first, because that's natural"
- Low social skills : deliberately withdrawn
- Usually looks charismatic, overtly intimidating ; persuades by intimidating or harming others (physically or emotionally)
- Usually non-filtered, reckless speech, only avoids to say things that would lead to the highest penalties (if however responsible enough to do so), and willingly adding extra harmful content to their speech
- Not afraid of being excluded of groups
- Higher IQ, lower EQ
- Seeks to be respected, empathy doesn't seem to mean anything
- Leadership styles range from authoritarian to dictatorial - thinks that lack of control may lead to anarchy
- When dealing with boring people, simply ignores them except if extrinsic benefit is very high

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...ad.php?t=17138

[Kristiina]

I do that sometimes. I just observe the group from the outside. I observe what people say and how others react. When I'm having a high-energy moment, I influence the group dynamics so much that I start wondering if I should just stay quiet and not interfere.

[lastdance]

This thread and your posts suprised me very much. I was thinking that only introverts can isolate him self in a group of people, even friends :]
I just like you isolate myself but I dont know why :] I think it's just our dramatic nature.

[idealistichick]

This thread and your posts suprised me very much. I was thinking that only introverts can isolate him self in a group of people, even friends :]
I just like you isolate myself but I dont know why :] I think it's just our dramatic nature.

Yeah that's what I thought at the beginning but now I realize that I guess its more related to a disconnection with the world and my friends. I guess its that ENFj depression phase...

[lefty]

This thread and your posts suprised me very much. I was thinking that only introverts can isolate him self in a group of people, even friends :]
I just like you isolate myself but I dont know why :] I think it's just our dramatic nature.

good observations about the two sides of enfj. enfjs are dramatic its true. even if its something we might have difficulty comprehending about ourselves.

[machintruc]

This thread and your posts suprised me very much. I was thinking that only introverts can isolate him self in a group of people, even friends :]
I just like you isolate myself but I dont know why :] I think it's just our dramatic nature.

We don't isolate ourselves for the same reasons.

For example :

You may isolate yourself because they don't naturally feel the need to relate to people.
You may isolate yourself because they want to avoid potentially harmful people, especially if you're an extrovert.

Social isolation itself isn't a reliable indicator for typing. But the reasons to do so may be.

[Angel Alliterator]

ENFjs are always said to have sad melancholic eyes, that is because since we are always looking towards the future possibilities...we get depressed when see the potential that *never was.*

[lefty]

ENFjs are always said to have sad melancholic eyes, that is because since we are always looking towards the future possibilities...we get depressed when see the potential that *never was.*

as far as i know istjs find this comforting. ive seen some of the doe eyes come out of an estp before, too, when they're relaxed.

[Angel Alliterator]

as far as i know istjs find this comforting. ive seen some of the doe eyes come out of an estp before, too, when they're relaxed.

An ENFp I was dating for a while, would always tell me how I had the saddest eyes and I never really go that until I started to look at them in the mirror.

The I realized he was indeed correct.

[idealistichick]

ENFjs are always said to have sad melancholic eyes, that is because since we are always looking towards the future possibilities...we get depressed when see the potential that *never was.*

My ESTp used to always tell me to stop being so sad even when I was really happy. I'm always getting questioned about my feelings. I constantly have to tell everyone that I'm okay and they still dont buy it.

[ScarlettLux]

Eek. I relate entirely to this whole thread. Everyone always thinks I am "lost in thought" or melancholy ... especially walking around, I have big sad eyes or something as well, just wandering around. I sometimes like to play this up though, I am actually aware of my effect on others most of the time. I do this out there doe eyed gaze... works every time