This is my own personal take on this idea. Is this something that other INFjs - or even other types - understand or identify with? Or disagree with? Or would care to expand upon?


Giving someone else control/responsibility is one thing. Someone else taking control/responsibility is another. The former can be acceptable; the latter can be... unacceptable.

The former is something I choose to do. It is on my terms, even if that isn't readily apparent, like when someone comes along and assumes charge. A common term is that they're "taking" control, but really I'm letting them take it, so it's a sort of giving. And I am consistently willing to do it if I think the other person is capable and willing enough. Which is quite often.

The latter, when opposed to the former, happens when I've said, "No, this is mine" and they keep going. That's like an invasion and will be met by resistance, either passive or active. There are somethings that for whatever reason, even if the other person is more than capable of handling them, I've decided belong to me. That can be anything - from something as abstract as an idea to something as concrete as a spoon. And if someone tries to force it from me I will smite them. Yes, smite. My smiting may look different than some people's but it is smiting nonetheless.


These are thoughts that have been bubbling around in my mind for a little. I have seen talk about how INFjs are so passive and like to give up control and are so accommodating etc., and... um, no. Not always, anyway.