Yup, found it.
Anyways, I'm not exactly sure how to respond to all of this, so I'll just give some general info.
The quickest way that someone can tell if I'm just keeping them around as a backup
fix is if I immediately move to another group as soon as I see it. For example, if I'm sitting at a lunch table with the "satellite group" as Zenbrat put it, and then I see my core group, I'll figure out the best way to ditch the satellite group and move to the core group. I'm always careful when I do this though because I don't want to lose the satellite group if something happens with the core group. It's actually quite simple when you look at it that way - the group I like better is the group that has priority. Granted, the groups and people change over time, so the core group also changes with that. This is a general pattern that I always follow, though.
As for how to tell where you stand, you just have to be observant. First off, look for the types of things that I mentioned above, and that will give you a good outline of how much I care about you. Also, another very good indicator of whether you're a priority is the type of conversations that occur between you and a SLE (This applies much better for intelligent SLEs than stupid ones, so take that into consideration also). Put simply, if a SLE starts talking about a bunch of insightful but possibly controversial things with you, then you're definately on a good plane. What this basically means is 1) SLE knows that you're smart, so they don't worry about dumbing things down for you; 2) that they know you're not going to judge them for opening up about a particular subject that others would object to; and 3) they're testing whether or not they'll be able to confide in you in the future. For example, I have a good friend who is SLE, and one time he started telling me about how he goes through periods where he hates everything and everyone, and just locks himself in his room and does nothing but play WoW. He then started giving me
reasons as for why this was occuring. Granted, that's only one example, but if a SLE tells you something more personal like that, then you know that they like you more than the average person.
On the opposite side of the coin, if you're just a
fix, I'll be much more likely to talk with you in a very superficial manner. If you can't hold a good conversation with a SLE, it either means that they don't give a shit about you, or they're just stupid in general.
Hope this helped!