Originally Posted by
Adam Strange
This is very interesting to me.
I view "whining", and complaining in general, as a way that a person asks for help with the things they aren't good at.
I read somewhere (probably here) that ESIs (the OTHER Fi-dom) like to spend all their time at home complaining to their husbands about, as the ESI Bruce Springsteen famously said, "somebody....doing something they know is wrong", and their husbands are expected to agree with them.
The ESI-Fi, whom I dated for three years and left only because she was Dismissive-Avoidant, often said that she needed help. Mostly with financial things, but she really needed help with everything Te.
Also, while she typically spent about 60% of our time together complaining about the bad behavior of everyone she knew, that rose to about 95% on what I think she knew was our last date.
Complaining = "Are you going to help me or not?"
I was just in the checkout line at the boutique grocery store when an attractively slender woman, who preceded me in checking out, dropped her box of flowers on the ground. Then she wailed, and then she dropped her purse, and the checkout girl rushed to help her but wasn't much help. The woman turned and I saw her face and she looked like Lady Gaga without makeup. Very Fi-domish, maybe not conventionally beautiful, but beautiful to me, so I walked over to help her, but she had the plants back in the box by then. I could only say "Don't worry. They're tough. Just put them in the ground and water them and in three weeks they'll be fine."
She gave me a look somewhere between extreme distress and pleading and anger, then out the door she went.
I should have added "in three weeks they'll be almost as lovely as you are", but hey, in the heat of the moment, I couldn't tell if she was married or not.
Honestly, I got the clear impression that something in her life (not flowers) was going seriously wrong.
I should add that listening to an Fi-dom woman complain doesn't bother me. I assume it's for the same reason that my Te-assholishness doesn't bother them.