The whining. I'm Fe ignoring and even I can tell when eii Fi droning on and whining kills the Fe vibe in the room. It's much worse if they are in a high status position because then they can almost force everyone to sit and listen to their whining.
The whining. I'm Fe ignoring and even I can tell when eii Fi droning on and whining kills the Fe vibe in the room. It's much worse if they are in a high status position because then they can almost force everyone to sit and listen to their whining.
Amen.Originally Posted by Lord Pixel
Wife has an acquaintance EII and she dumps her feeling world views on the world like there is no tomorrow, and in deep monologues. It is processing emotions and needing to vent, but body language and reading everyone is just not there, if you can see only yourself and then you are the main only character.
Her kids always used to say, i feel sorry for dad, because he has to listen to that all the time, where we can create excuses and leave the scene.
It just seems every event is a 10 out 10 on the Richter scale. She's healthy but anytime there is social media posting she injects something contrary to the trajectory not acknowledging anyone else, even one iota.
It's like autism in a way in the centerdness of it.
Black & white is a shallow divide ∕∕division is the color that multipliesx
Taking things at face value is good only for a spell⛧
Watch out for the quicksand, an hour glass isn't worth watching when the cook is done⧗
A little better makes better more>
♦♦
This is very interesting to me.
I view "whining", and complaining in general, as a way that a person asks for help with the things they aren't good at.
I read somewhere (probably here) that ESIs (the OTHER Fi-dom) like to spend all their time at home complaining to their husbands about, as the ESI Bruce Springsteen famously said, "somebody....doing something they know is wrong", and their husbands are expected to agree with them.
The ESI-Fi, whom I dated for three years and left only because she was Dismissive-Avoidant, often said that she needed help. Mostly with financial things, but she really needed help with everything Te.
Also, while she typically spent about 60% of our time together complaining about the bad behavior of everyone she knew, that rose to about 95% on what I think she knew was our last date.
Complaining = "Are you going to help me or not?"
I was just in the checkout line at the boutique grocery store when an attractively slender woman, who preceded me in checking out, dropped her box of flowers on the ground. Then she wailed, and then she dropped her purse, and the checkout girl rushed to help her but wasn't much help. The woman turned and I saw her face and she looked like Lady Gaga without makeup. Very Fi-domish, maybe not conventionally beautiful, but beautiful to me, so I walked over to help her, but she had the plants back in the box by then. I could only say "Don't worry. They're tough. Just put them in the ground and water them and in three weeks they'll be fine."
She gave me a look somewhere between extreme distress and pleading and anger, then out the door she went.
I should have added "in three weeks they'll be almost as lovely as you are", but hey, in the heat of the moment, I couldn't tell if she was married or not.
Honestly, I got the clear impression that something in her life (not flowers) was going seriously wrong.
I should add that listening to an Fi-dom woman complain doesn't bother me. I assume that's for the same reason that my Te-assholishness doesn't bother them.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 05-24-2024 at 12:26 PM.
They are pretty good together, her husband is LSE, we had them over for a yard party a couple of years ago. I could see role Fe playing out in asking to tell about a football game score, ongoing, as they came in, but reading the vibe and asking if it is OK to disclose it, not wanting to spoil anything. That is Fe working.
She was strict with the boys, not even allowing squirt guns as toys. Helicopter type parent.
He works a lot of OT in his business and is more there than home.
Overall it works.
My wife and her do good together, SEI woman are like an agony aunt and can listen for hours about your problems. We were at a camp ground once, and someone stopped her on a trail, and this camper guy was talking for a long time to her, and her ESE sister told me to go rescue her, because she will stand there for hours on end, otherwise. True. lol.
She can attract all kinds. I've seen her entertain a truck driver and lineman together in conversation, and being very personable she is well liked. Can talk to anybody and win them over.
Black & white is a shallow divide ∕∕division is the color that multipliesx
Taking things at face value is good only for a spell⛧
Watch out for the quicksand, an hour glass isn't worth watching when the cook is done⧗
A little better makes better more>
♦♦
So true about SEI. My cousin is the exact same way. We took an uber one time and he chatted up the driver the whole ride to the point that when we got t destination the driver came out and shook my cousin's hand, not mine tho looool.
Could be Te seeking behavior. Your encounters read like a scene outta James Bond lol.
There is just a brand of Eii whining that can be annoying to everyone around and Eii is blind to it because Fe ignoring. It's not just venting tho, it's specifically whining in content and tone. And sometimes whining about something too personal for anyone to understand or give a damn about lol (Fe ignoring again). And when it's real bad it can be contagious and kill the mood.
The worst example was a manager I had who despite being competent at his job would hold meetings with the team where for the 1st 10 mins he'd just bitch and moan about all the people that were to blame for why our project was being delayed or whatever, and often whine about how much he hated his job. The worst of this was when we hired 2 new employees and on their 1st day he was bitching and moaning about how this job sucks to them, killing any excitement for their 1st day at the company. Horrible for morale and just creates a toxic work environment altogether. Just killing everyone's mood daily.
Irony is I feel like I'm doing the whining right now lol.
For several years, I would take my EII secretary out for lunch (we alternated paying the tabs), because she was great to be around and I liked her but not in a romantic way. For one thing, she was married, and I don't get romantically involved with married women. But there is a strong tendency to want to spend more time with co-workers whom you like, rather than the ones you don't like. And being my Semi-Dual, she was easy to like.
But one day, we were sitting in a very nice, white-tablecloth restaurant, and she started crying. Loudly. Just out of nowhere. It turned out that she was getting a divorce from her stupid husband, and she spent the entire lunch crying loudly. At my initial shock, I was horrified that the other diners would think I was hurting her, but none of them blinked an eye, and I instantly turned to trying to give her moral support.
She didn't seem to actually need any moral support. She just wanted to cry loudly in a public place and complain about her husband. Lol.
She cried real tears all the way back to the office, and then she turned them off just when we entered the building.
Man. My first exposure to Fe-ignoring. It definitely gets the attention of a Te-dom.
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