What triggers you into doing something, such as setting goals?
the Carrot (Towards) vs the Stick (Away From)
Toward
Focused on goals
Think in terms of goals to be achieved
Motivated to have, get, achieve, attain, etc
Tend to be good at managing priorities.
Excited and energized by goals
Have trouble recognizing what should be avoided
Have trouble identifying problems
Often fail to take into consideration potential obstacles
Away From
Notice what should be avoided
What should be gotten rid of
What should not happen
Motivated to solve problems or move away from something
Energized by threats ("if I don't get out there and sell, I won't be able to pay my bills at the end of the month.")
Deadlines
Good at troubleshooting
Good at solving problems
Good at pinpointing possible obstacles during planning
Pick up on what is or could be going wrong
Have trouble maintaining focus on goals
Easily distracted by negative situations
Compelled to respond to negative situations
Often drop everything to fix something
Often forget what the priorities are
Often only concentrate on treating crises
Often perceived as jaded or cynical (particularly by Toward people)
Recognizing the patterns (Questions to ask)
Why is having that (their criteria) important?
What will having that (their criteria) do for you?
What's the point?
Why bother?
What's in that for you?
(often best if asked 2-3 times to get to the nitty gritty)
Toward Sentence structures:
Talks about what they gain, achieve, get, have, etc
Inclusion
What they want, goals
Body language includes pointing towards something, head nodding, gestures of inclusion
Away From Sentence Structures:
Will mention situations to be avoided, gotten rid of
Exclusion of unwanted situations, things
Problems
Body language includes gestures of exclusion, shaking head, arms indicating that something is to be avoided, gotten rid of
Examples of spoken languages
Toward: "I would get personal satisfaction and a promotion."
Mainly Toward: "I would get a promotion, personal satisfaction, make more money, and not have to go on the road."
Equally Toward and Away From: "I would get personal satisfaction and not have to go on the road."
Mainly Away From: I would not have all this routine work, or be away from my family often, plus I would get a promotion."
Away From: "I would get away from this boring work, all the deadlines, and my boss who keeps looking over my shoulder."
Language to influence
Toward:
Attain; obtain; have; get; include; achieve; enable you to; benefits; advantages; here's what you would accomplish
Language to influence
Away From:
Won't have to; solve; prevent; avoid; fix; prevent; not have to deal with; get rid of; it's not perfect; let's find out what's wrong; there'll be no problems
Away From people may need to ask themselves questions like "What am I trying to do?" and "How does this activity fit in with what I want to accomplish?"
Toward people may need to ask themselves questions like "Are my plans going to work? What else do I need to predict? What haven't I thought of yet that may go wrong?"