Lets talk about Activity Relations, your stories and experiences

[Khola aka Bee]

OK, so I have read a fair bit about what should happen in an activity r'ship, but are there any first-hand accounts around?

I'm a female ENTP married to a male ESFJ, we met when I was 15, he was 17 and have been married around 13 months now, together nearly 7 years. Are we mental? How can we be better partners for each other? What are your personal experiences? What have you seen in the way of activity partners?

Also, what do you think he's like on a date?

[redbaron]

Hi. I don't have a lot of experience with activity relations but I am also married to an ESFj. (I'm his supervisor) We've been married for 13 years. An ENTp with an ESFj, I'll bet you guys have a lot of fun! I don't have much to add, just wanted to say hey.

edit: Oh, just wanted to add that I'll bet he's very talkative on a date and flirty. Probably thinking about sex the entire time....am I close?

[Jarno]

OK, so I have read a fair bit about what should happen in an activity r'ship, but are there any first-hand accounts around?

I'm a female ENTP married to a male ESFJ, we met when I was 15, he was 17 and have been married around 13 months now, together nearly 7 years. Are we mental? How can we be better partners for each other? What are your personal experiences? What have you seen in the way of activity partners?

Also, what do you think he's like on a date?

- What do you mean with "are we mental"?

- How can you be better partners: you are already great partners, activity relationship is rated second or third best by most socionists and amateurs.
You cannot really change much about the relationship in regard to your compatibility.

- Personal experience: Have been in an activity relationship briefly. My mother is also my activity partner. And I have 2 colleagues, ENTP guy, ESFJ female, who are truly good friends and have lot's of fun, however strangly they never dated...

- What do you mean with, what have you seen in the way of activity? Could you specify which part you are interested in. b.t.w. Mostly I know relates to compatibility.

[Khola aka Bee]

Wow, I was vague last night!

Ok, Redbaron, correct! It would help if I made any sense though! It should have read "what do you think he'd like on a date?" But I guess you answered that! :wink:
Seriously though, I'm crap at mushy stuff, what do I do?

"Are we mental" = are we silly to be together, or do think it's a good combo?

What have you seen in the way of activity partners = What are your experiences with other activity partners via observation?

Is it weird that it feels like we have some role reversal thing going on? I'm definitely more dominant when I want to be, although I let him win occasionally too. But yeah, he seems way more feminine in the r'ship than I do! Weird?

[Jarno]

"Are we mental" = are we silly to be together, or do think it's a good combo?

Yes, as I said, it's one of the best combo's around. rated second or third best. Sure duality is probably better, but is it something you would want to give up this also very good combo?

What have you seen in the way of activity partners = What are your experiences with other activity partners via observation?

What I read about my colleague's is what I've observed, they got along very well together, I saw them laugh a lot. They also trusted eachother easely.

Is it weird that it feels like we have some role reversal thing going on? I'm definitely more dominant when I want to be, although I let him win occasionally too. But yeah, he seems way more feminine in the r'ship than I do! Weird?

That may have nothing to do with the type of relationship, but more the type of people. (I'm not sure)
ENTP's can be dominant, controlling the discussion with ease, playing one-up-man-ship is also a dominant behaviour and typical ENTP.
ESFJ are service oriented, more submissive, which could be associated with female behaviour.

[redbaron]

Wow, I was vague last night!

Ok, Redbaron, correct! It would help if I made any sense though! It should have read "what do you think he'd like on a date?" But I guess you answered that! :wink:
Seriously though, I'm crap at mushy stuff, what do I do?

"Are we mental" = are we silly to be together, or do think it's a good combo?

What have you seen in the way of activity partners = What are your experiences with other activity partners via observation?

Is it weird that it feels like we have some role reversal thing going on? I'm definitely more dominant when I want to be, although I let him win occasionally too. But yeah, he seems way more feminine in the r'ship than I do! Weird?

Funny you should say that about the role reversal. I always tell my husband he's the woman in the relationship. First, he's always cleaning the house and doing laundry. I do that stuff too (I'm a stay at home mom) but he does it obsessively whenever he's home. He also likes cuddling and talking about feelings! LOL I'm a lot more quiet about my feelings (Ni-subtype INFp here) and I prefer things to go unsaid rather than spelling everything out. He seems to need more reassurance. But that also could be our supervisor/supervisee thing going on. Anyway, I'm definitely the cool, silent type in the relationship. Which I find amusing.

[Khola aka Bee]

Wow, can you teach my husband to clean obsessively too?

Yeah, he is def. more of a touchy feely type than I am. Speaking of that, He just read that line, complained I wasn't talking to him and stormed off, shut the door rather abruptly on his way out......I suppose I should go dispense *hugs*..........

[cracka]

After reading this thread I seriously feel like a bitch.

As far as something to do on a date... anything to keep us busy usually works... as long as fun is being had then ya can't really go wrong.

[Blaze]

As far as something to do on a date... anything to keep us busy usually works... as long as fun is being had then ya can't really go wrong.

spoken like a true alpha.

[Creepy-Cyclops]

From my observations of people, and reading through this forum, i'm pretty sure that activity and mirror play out the same way. ie activity relations starts quickly and easily, mirrors quickly realise they are similar.

How those relations start quickly for instance is different. For instance the ISTp will have fun and chill out or do stuff together with their activity. ESTj's are more likely to enter discussion with their activity. But then I think ESTj's tend to see the world clearly so they enjoy discussing their view about things, and ENFp's probably enjoy having those discussions with them.

No two type of relation are the same in say, what they do what they are inclined to discuss, yet they still follow the same *overall* pattern.

This is my take not just for delta guys, but overall quadra intertypes.

Thoughts, dudes?

[betterthan]

Are yummy .

So give me stories...

:wink:

Do you know any? What are your relationships with them like?

[calenwen]

My boyfriend and best friend are both ILI. I get along with the best friend better because I don't see her as often. The boyfriend and I most likely see each other too often and as a result go through a lot of ups and downs, and well, when it's up it's awesome and when it's down it's boring and I can't wait to get away.

I find that we have a lot in common - too much, perhaps, to be of any real help to each other in these problem areas. I also find that we don't challenge each other much which results in a general sense of inertia.

I don't mean to make it sound overly negative, but I would caution against two introverted activity partners that are both prone to negative dispositions starting a romantic relationship. I think this type of relation is best suited to friendship. My friendship with the other ILI is very strong, and people often comment on how close we are.

[betterthan]

My boyfriend and best friend are both ILI. I get along with the best friend better because I don't see her as often. The boyfriend and I most likely see each other too often and as a result go through a lot of ups and downs, and well, when it's up it's awesome and when it's down it's boring and I can't wait to get away.

I find that we have a lot in common - too much, perhaps, to be of any real help to each other in these problem areas. I also find that we don't challenge each other much which results in a general sense of inertia.

I don't mean to make it sound overly negative, but I would caution against two introverted activity partners that are both prone to negative dispositions starting a romantic relationship. I think this type of relation is best suited to friendship. My friendship with the other ILI is very strong, and people often comment on how close we are.

Thanks. I agree about the romantic relationships, I am finding it impossible with this SLI I know, we are both doing the whole, moving away from each other because we like each other crap and its not going anywhere to the point where the whole relationship and all the feelings feel stupid .

How often do you see your boy, how long have you been together ?

[calenwen]

Thanks. I agree about the romantic relationships, I am finding it impossible with this SLI I know, we are both doing the whole, moving away from each other because we like each other crap and its not going anywhere to the point where the whole relationship and all the feelings feel stupid .

How often do you see your boy, how long have you been together ?

Do you mean LSI? I see him every day or every other day, we live less than a mile away from each other so it's almost too convenient. We've been together for about a year and eight months now, but we are both moving soon to "do our own thing" and I'm not sure where we'll go from there.

[Creepy-male]

Ah, what the heck.

I know this ILE. Together, we combine. It's like, I'm all like "FORM OF A SPAZZBALL" and he's like "OH, WAIT! FORM OF..." and then he turns into a spazzball and then we're all like whizzing around having crazy imaginary gun battles with bullet time and it's all crazy shit and then the teacher laughs at us and we're like lolwut o_O AND FREAKIN' LOL

So I guess the point is that Alpha extravert activity relationships are pretty crazy and weird.

[Jarno]

My friendship with the other ILI is very strong, and people often comment on how close we are.

I have the same thing with an ESI-Fi subtype.

Do you know which subtype the ILI is? I'm curious since I have a strong friendship with all ESI-Fi types and a striking less friendship with all ESI-Se subtypes. Just curious if you experience the same pattern with ILI's.

some help: Ni is more philosophical and cynical, Te is more active and blunt.

[calenwen]

I'm not sure how they perceive it. I do think my INTj friend prefers regular, steady contact. We keep in touch by email. I feel like most extraverts initiate more often so it becomes a non-issue unless they're living far away. My INFj mom does tend to take things personally if she and a good friend go for too long without contact--she wonders what's wrong, if she said something or whatever. maybe it's just insecurity.

Interesting. I've never really sat down and thought about which types portrayed which behavior, the only one that comes to mind at the moment is an ENFp friend of mine who used to get worried/offended if we hadn't talked in a while.

I have the same thing with an ESI-Fi subtype.

Do you know which subtype the ILI is? I'm curious since I have a strong friendship with all ESI-Fi types and a striking less friendship with all ESI-Se subtypes. Just curious if you experience the same pattern with ILI's.

some help: Ni is more philosophical and cynical, Te is more active and blunt.

Yes, my friend is Ni-INTp.

[Lobo]

I honestly don't know why it's so easy to stimulate each other, in good times and in bad... It feels like being on some type of drug that even though it's like the best thing I've tried, I think it's going to end up killing me eventually.

[ProcrastinateTomorrow]

I have a SLI friend who lives far away he comes to stay sometimes we have a blast but after 2 days of non stop fun I want him to go home.

The funniest thing though is when he gets home we end up ring each other up and talking for about 2 to 3 hours straight.

Activity Relations don't get each other the space they need so the wear each other out but as soon as the energy comes back the cycle begins again.

[Lobo]

I have a SLI friend who lives far away he comes to stay sometimes we have a blast but after 2 days of non stop fun I want him to go home.

The funniest thing though is when he gets home we end up ring each other up and talking for about 2 to 3 hours straight.

Activity Relations don't get each other the space they need so the wear each other out but as soon as the energy comes back the cycle begins again.

I can see that happening in general, but you're bound to find one that it's not an issue about having alone time, but mutual misunderstanding.

They are? Interesting.

I suppose any feelings of strong attraction can feel this way.

In saying that, i've never dated an activity partner, so I couldn't say from my own experience of this in a romantic sense. I do however have an INFj friend and i've got to say I love the guy like a brother.

I remember he had to do lots of overtime in his work which he and his collegues didn't get paid for. Instead of financial payment the company said that they would pay him and his team to have a holiday, ie pay for the trip, to take themself and their partner on.

He didn't have a partner and instead he offered to take me on holiday with him. I thought this was really cool of him to do so, made me realise that he values my friendship as much as I value his.

I've known him for a few years now and we're still good friends. What could have been if one of us were the different sex, or both of us gay, lol.

lmao. This is so funny because the way I started the thread it kinda looks like I'm talking about a romantic relationship. It's more like "bromantic," lol. Actually, my friend and I are always joking about how gay we must look to people from the outside. I couldn't imagine dating an ISTp girl, because I feel like I'll end up heartbroken :/. It feels like it would be one of those types of movie romances where they date for a while and doesn't work out for some reason, and then years later after each one has gone their separate ways, they find each other and it feels just like old times. It's like you can never stop caring for each other even if things end badly. Screw you guys ! I'm going to give duality a shot, who knows.

[sarinana]

after reading your post.... i decided that i want to meet my activity partner.

[Jarno]

after reading your post.... i decided that i want to meet my activity partner.

yes, it's certainly worth the try. I used to think it wouldn't be, but I was surprised how 'intense' it could become.

Especially because your the same on introversion/extraversion, you've got less competition or maybe feeling more 'the same', I cannot explain it very well, but it is a good thing.

[Creepy-Cyclops]

I honestly don't know why it's so easy to stimulate each other, in good times and in bad... It feels like being on some type of drug that even though it's like the best thing I've tried, I think it's going to end up killing me eventually.

They are? Interesting.

I suppose any feelings of strong attraction can feel this way.

In saying that, i've never dated an activity partner, so I couldn't say from my own experience of this in a romantic sense. I do however have an INFj friend and i've got to say I love the guy like a brother.

I remember he had to do lots of overtime in his work which he and his collegues didn't get paid for. Instead of financial payment the company said that they would pay him and his team to have a holiday, ie pay for the trip, to take themself and their partner on.

He didn't have a partner and instead he offered to take me on holiday with him. I thought this was really cool of him to do so, made me realise that he values my friendship as much as I value his.

I've known him for a few years now and we're still good friends. What could have been if one of us were the different sex, or both of us gay, lol.

[EllaC]

Anyone in these?

Why are these the only relations (maybe), that I can get from 'seeing each other' to 'relationship' level easily? The rest are sooo hard to do, even bloody duals!

[crazedrat]

ive been in a few of them. it's alot of sex mixed with whatever you typically enjoy doing with others. there is less of a cathartic feeling to the relationship. its sort of indulgent

[stevENTj]

Going on 13 years together, 5 years of marriage, and 2 kids later with my ESI 'Activity Partner' wife.

[Jarno]

Anyone in these?

Why are these the only relations (maybe), that I can get from 'seeing each other' to 'relationship' level easily? The rest are sooo hard to do, even bloody duals!

Yes, I have the same experience. Though it's probably due to socionics that I can sense better wether a relationship will work out or not. You get more focussed on it.

[redbaron]

I know several IEI-LSI activity marriages. They seem strong, healthy and happy. I also know one ESE-ILE activity marriage. But unless you're really super close to someone, you're not going to know the truth about their marriage. Gosh I've learned recently that looks can be deceiving. Nobody really talks about what goes on but yeah I think every marriage that I know other than dual marriages have true issues when they've been married for long enough (long enough meaning 10+ years).

you can find happiness without finding a dual. but the deepest most long-lasting comforting life-time partner is going to be a dual. so either wait for it, or don't. but at least you guys have the knowledge that I didn't have when I was young to make that decision.

[Danielle]

The only problems I've had with activity relationships (both friends and romantic interests):

- need to take breaks because things get a little intense due to going farther and deeper faster than with others. With my first boyfriend we'd end up spending 8 or 9 hours on the phone and he wouldn't want me to go. If the energy dies down for either one of the partners, it can seem like the relationship is dying because that's what it's based on.

- some boredom and laziness because we're both introverts. You wanna do something? Yeah. Okay. Nothing but sitting around talking more.

- there often ends up being an intimacy imbalance, where one feels more than the other at a given point in time. This happened with my closest friend a few years back, she and I were activity partners. We spent every day together and I got her a job working for my company so we became very close. Then an ENFP came along and she just..disconnected a bit. Her energies were going elsewhere.

[stevENTj]

it's not the same thing as a dual where words do not do justice do describe what that experience is like.

I think every marriage that I know other than dual marriages have true issues when they've been married for long enough (long enough meaning 10+ years).

you can find happiness without finding a dual. but the deepest most long-lasting comforting life-time partner is going to be a dual. so either wait for it, or don't. but at least you guys have the knowledge that I didn't have when I was young to make that decision.

basically, get your duals lined up in a row

13 years with my 'Activity' wife in a fully committed relationship (ILI/ESI), married for nearly 5 years and 2 kids later, and no "true issues". Honest.

Call me biased if you want, but I think there's been a bit of a history here of people over glorifying and romanticizing the whole duality concept as far as these things go. If you've been in a bad relationship or two and have learned about Socionics enough to know that the mixing of your two types might have been a bad combo then it's perfectly understandable to only seek a dual. But in all honesty I think it's nonsense to suggest that unless you find a dual you're going to suffer from "true issues" at some point in your relationship or marriage. As if it's not possible to have a very strong and happy relationship without any major/true issues with any other type than your dual. As they say, maybe a little knowledge is a dangerous thing?

The funny thing is that I met my wife through my first college roommate, who was an LIE/ENTj - her dual! Both of them considered the other "defective" in various ways and there really wasn't any interest. OTOH, my wife and I as Activity took right off. Can't have a relationship with someone if it never starts. My roommate was bitter. I think he considered her 'his', but trust me when I say it that he had 'issues' that would have made a whole lot of women reject him. PoLR might have had something to do with that. So much for duality there.

Speaking of physical traits , there's a whole lot more to relationships than Socionics. That's just the mental part. There are also physical mechanisms such as the physiological chemistry that goes on (literally) from the sensual/sexual aspects. There are pheromones and endorphins and all sorts of good stuff going on. Physical attractiveness matters. I think my wife is hot and she thinks I'm hot. I don't think I'm particularly hot and she doesn't think she is either, but hey, it doesn't matter to a mate what you think of yourself. Satisfaction in the bedroom and lots of teasing and innuendo out of it will help keep things blissful. Is it taboo to dare suggest that there are other things that matter to make a relationship work besides socionics on a socionics forum? There's other things along purely physical lines that can make a big difference that I'm not even going to mention.

Fast-forward many years later after my wife and I were already married. My wife happened to be working with an SEE female at work who was also single. We met up for dinner once in awhile and she never really talked to me much, but seemed obsessed over me when just chit-chatting with my wife at work when I wasn't there. On one hand she was constantly trying to put me down and diminish me in various ways (finding 'defects' in me), but on the other hand she was almost paranoid about whether I liked her or not? I thought it was kinda cute. Fast-forward another couple of years to just this past weekend (or the previous) and the SEE got married. We were invited but couldn't make it. Met her now husband about a year ago and if I could guess a type it would have been ILI/INTp - he really did seem a whole lot like me which would have made them a duality.

So yes there seems to be something to duality - not diminishing it in any way - but I think forecasting doom & gloom on any other long-term relationship besides duality is the wrong approach to have. You're going to have potential issues in ANY relationship including duality. What matters most is how you're able to work through the issues and if you can resolve them or not. Being Duals of course you'd have the easiest time doing that since duals will naturally understand the other and speak their language. Maybe it just requires a little more conscious effort if you're not duals. There's certainly been some rational/irrational tension between my wife and I, but we COMMUNICATE with each other and resolve things. My wife seems to think I'm an ENTj (go figure ) so in the past whenever I'd mention I was thinking about doing something she'd naturally assume I was already doing it and try to put the brakes on me and protect me from myself when I'm really just being my irrational IP-self and not actively doing anything at all. Just thinking out loud. She gets that now. Issue resolved. What issue?

Sure you can wait around to find a dual that's available, attractive to you, and compatible in all other areas of a potential relationship, but you might grow old doing so. And by the time you might meet this person they might have been so twisted up and mangled inside from previous relationships and life experiences that it might not even work out. There is that initial barrier to overcome with Dual relationships that could lead someone who's a bit twisted up inside into more 'bad' relationships than a dual that they might have dismissed. Funny how that works... Why you're waiting for this dual, plenty of other perfectly good people that you could have great relationships might be passing you by, including activity partners.

The socionics description of Activity relations seems pretty accurate. Yes they're EXTREMELY easy to start up, and yes you'll have a ton of fun together. But yes, you can get over-activated and then need some time apart. So my wife and I get back from having a blast together and take a few hours break and do our own things, and then after that we go out and have some more fun. The cycle repeats itself. It's good having at least one rational in an relationship too. She's much more efficient at getting stuff done than I am. If we were both irrational types what would ever get done? I can get stuff done when I need to, but it doesn't come nearly as naturally for me as it does for her.

So Duality is certainly nice, but I wouldn't get too hung up on it given all the other things besides mental compatibility that go towards making a relationship work.

[Clumsy]

Anyone with experience in these?

Can these work long term or does the irrational/rational difference eat away at it too much?

[Jonathan]

Activity relations are probably fairly common, and I don't think any relationship is doomed just because it isn't dual.

If you're an IEI, an LSI would probably try to change you to become more organized and efficient. If you want that, it might work.

I get the sense that LSIs like things to be "just so"; when you first get to know them, they may hide this, but later you'll realize they don't like disorder.

There may be times of frustration when you realize you can't be organized enough. But if you're in reasonable control of your life (e.g., not a total slob), that may help.

[Reuben]

@Clumsy

Basically any relationship can work out depending on how much work you want to put in. Duality may require less work, if say other compatibility issues are set in place.

Don't let socio-types decide your relationships!

The challenges an activity partner may pose is the fact that both of you may need some time off each other to 'recharge'. This is expected, so don't be surprised if your partner suddenly doesn't seem so desirable to be with at the moment (not because you suddenly detest that person but because it's just too much good things to take in ).

[Nowisthetime]

Anyone with experience in these?

Can these work long term or does the irrational/rational difference eat away at it too much?

Activation is very common. I've known my LII friend for over 20 years. Especially when subtypes are compatible, they can be very good. Like Lennon & McCartney (C-ILE + H-ESE).

[Nico1e]

My best friend at college was a female EII. We spent a huge amount of time together. She told me, when she married her husband, that she had looked for a man who was very logical, like I was - she said that she had looked for something like a male version of me. I saw him, and he was even more logical than I am, which means he is probably her LSE dual. But anyway I'm the one who helped her realize what she wanted out of a relationship.

I suspect that my first serious boyfriend might have been an EII. I'm really not sure. He and I were constantly fighting, but that's because 1. he was on drugs, and 2. he came from an abusive family, and was always having issues with them, and 3. we were both young and immature and didn't know what we were doing, and 4. we weren't having sex, we were just making out with each other, so there was no way to express the energy. We were together for maybe three years. I think the relationship could have continued if those other factors hadn't been a problem - the drugs, the family, whatever.

After being with my IEE best friend (middle school and high school) I knew that I wanted all my future relationships to feel like that. I thought it was just a miraculous fluke. So that's why I was so happy with socionics when I learned about duals and learned that this 'fluke' could happen again.

But the suspected EII relationship was also very intense and passionate. I felt like I loved him more intensely than any guy I had ever been with. There really are very strong feelings with activators. But I have never been in a relationship with an EII male since I was an adult, and I almost never date anyone, and I have very few relationships. So I don't know how it could be in an ideal situation as mature adults. It's all based on vague memories of a guy whose type I'm not absolutely sure of.

I remember it was this sort of hell torture addiction of pain and desperation, and it wasn't the relaxed ease of being with my other best friend the IEE. So there is a difference in the relaxation level.

Anyway the female EII college best friend was a much more stable relationship. We spent time together and time apart. However, I compared that relationship to my other best friend the IEE, and felt as though the IEE understood me better and like I could totally be myself with her. I could completely open up my inner world and describe my most bizarre thoughts and experiences and they would be instantly accepted.

I have wondered whether activators might be better at encouraging each other to 'get stuff done.' Like I've wondered if being with an activator would help me accomplish goals. However, I'm thinking of a dual who I greatly admire, and how, after reading that person, I was motivated to make some life changes. So the motivation for change can occur even in a 'perceiver-perceiver' relationship.

I always had this idea that if two perceiving types (irrationals, ending with P in the Myers-Briggs) were together, they would do nothing except float away on endless conversations, and yeah, that sort of happens, but - it's been so long since I had a real-world IEE friend that I don't know what it would be like today. As far as I know, I have never dated an IEE male.

I was with an ILE from about 1998 to 2005 or so, but it was only a partially fulfilling relationship and I always felt lonely and felt like something was missing, and so did he. However, I learned a lot of things in that relationship, and all the imaginary dangers of two irrationals being together didn't happen. Anyway the fear of having two irrationals together is one reason why I myself wondered what an activator relation would be like. But in the long run I will be with duals, that's if I can set myself free from the hell hole that my life is stuck in right now.

Based on my experience, the relaxed relationship would be better for me, but the activator relations could indeed work out over time, and I'd say it's worth a try, and there are examples of people who are doing it.

[Nico1e]

I suspect that the 'fear of two rationals/irrationals being together' is a remnant that comes along with learning the Myers-Briggs before learning socionics. People who learned socionics first wouldn't have that fear.

[squark]

Anyone with experience in these?

Can these work long term or does the irrational/rational difference eat away at it too much?

I had a close friendship with an IEI. I'll try to keep it to main points, but forgive me if I start reminiscing, 'cuz I miss him.

No problems whatsoever on the rational/irrational front. I didn't even notice it. Sometimes he even seemed more like the "rational" like when we'd go to the movies. For movies, I always figured it was best to show up a little late, and miss most of the previews, but that pissed him off to have to wait for me, because he wanted the "whole movie experience" lol, which included getting your popcorn and drink and sitting through the previews, the whole thing. And he'd bitch at me if I was late. It's funny, because sometimes we'd sneak into other movies that were already in progress after watching the one we came to see. But still, he insisted we get to the theater early.

We had a really easy friendship, were comfortable with each other, and could talk about anything. Everyone started assuming we were a couple. Even our good friends, though I don't know what gave them that idea. It might have been just that we were always together. But, maybe not, because people thought that even when first meeting us. His parents thought so too, even though he told them we were just friends.

He was my best friend. We knew each other better than anyone. Hung out constantly. Our friendship ended not for any socionics reasons. It ended because I let him down by being a judgemental bitch when he needed my support instead. That led to bickering about other stupid little things. And then, he started dating someone and moved away with him before we had a chance to make things right.

I became depressed after he left. At the time, I was sad that he left but didn't think it really affected me that much. It's only in hindsight that I think the depression was caused by that.

There are no real socionics clashes that I can think of with the IEI. Well. . . sometimes the IEI didn't want to go out and do anything, just wanted to stay home and watch TV when I wanted to do something. That happened once or twice. Could be IP related. But it was no big deal. I just told him he was being boring, lol. And I'm uh, kind of blunt and sometimes judgemental.

It was just a friendship, and not very long-term. We became friends in high school, and he moved away our 2nd year of college. But, I don't see any socionics-related problems with this activity relation. We didn't really have any. No introvert-introvert stagnation, no J/P clash, really no problems to speak of, just a really easy, fun, close friendship that got screwed up primarily by external circumstances and never had the chance to repair.

[Nico1e]

I had a close friendship with an IEI. I'll try to keep it to main points, but forgive me if I start reminiscing, 'cuz I miss him.

I enjoyed reading your reminiscence. I like the idea of 'getting to the movies early so you can see the previews and have the whole movie experience,' and how oddly enough he was the one who insisted on getting there early. And sneaking into other movies halfway through. It sounds like you two had a great time together.

[Jarno]

Anyone with experience in these?

Can these work long term or does the irrational/rational difference eat away at it too much?

Yes experience personally and I've read some russian descriptions about them.

These relations are very good. I would settle for my activator if she was hot. Duals are better but activation is at some points even better than duality. For example the same introvert/extravert can be very pleasant. Also differing subtypes are best.

The irrational and rational is not a big problem.

if your activator is LSI, watch out for the unhealthy ones, obsessive compulsive, paranoid is a bit too common among them. Then it won't work, I had an obsessive compulsive ESI once, the relationship was great but with a big problem constantly. It just interrupts with how things flow. Very annoying.

[Beautiful sky]

Why do I have so much trouble with activity relations?
We can talk about similar interests and we seem to value the same things like eating healthy, exercising, organizing, and other activities, but I can never seem to get the loving SLI to do things. I invited my SLI friend to go to the farmer's market with me; I expected him to help me make decisions as to how to spend my money in the most effective way, instead he just went after things that pleased his Si, like going strait for the oyster bar.

I do have a hard time with cooperation too. I told him that I was going to be in too much pain to cook our lunch and I wanted him to do it. I shouldn't have said that. He ended up trashing my kitchen. Thank goodness I refused to have him clean up. I wonder how that would have gone. I don't want to know.

SiTe types as being clean is a stereotype. I wish my dual cousin and I had the day together. It would have been so much more productive. She and I would have made a plan about what to do from the very beginning and would have not only enjoyed our day, but also would have seen and done a lot more. We would have probably agreed that she would do the cooking, as both she and I like to cook and eat at home, it's more economic and healthy that way, and she would have been fine about cooking, plus she would have done it so smoothly and efficiently, with no messes to clean up afterwards.

I felt like I had to clean up after my SLI friend like i have to clean up after my SLI dad. *SLI are just not for me.*

How are your activity relations at their worse?