Really? I've never met a human that had worse hand writing than mine.
Really? I've never met a human that had worse hand writing than mine.
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
Delta Activity (Not the band, ahaha! Wait , does anyone else know them?)
Anyway, I wanted to talk about Delta Activity relationships if anyone else is interested. . . .
I have had several with my activity partner the SLI. Subtypes make a difference in my experience. Generally I find my activity partner interesting and clever. They can bend the world to fit them and their interests in a way I am in awe of:
- When they are interested in something they can spend hours tweeking it to their standards of perfection.
- Great with tools.
- I can say certain things to the SLI that I probably could never say to another type (I like their perspective on certain situations and their humor).
- They know how to take care of themselves, which can be a real relief (self sufficient).
- They are generally really kind but also don't take shit from anyone.
- They hold true to their uniqueness, and develop their individual self.
- They sharp/ crisp/ refined.
- No one else more efficient.
EII 4w5
so/sx (?)
My experience with ISTp's pretty much mirrors yours, Christy B. We used to have really deep and intense conversations about all sorts of things: talking about the size of the universe and ourselves beneath the stars, what we wanted out of life or was important to us. I really miss those days. It reminds me of my sophomore year in college when I lived with the same ISTp, our ENFp friend, and his ESFj cousin, with our ESTj dormmate from the year prior living the building over. Those were awesome times.
Moonlight will fall
Winter will end
Harvest will come
Your heart will mend
Well, my best buds have always been ISTp. However, I don't feel that I get tired out by the relation after some time like is described in what it's supposed to be. Regardless of who I chill with, there will be a point that I just need a little break to recharge, it just so happens that with ISTps it happens after a longer period of time.
Trust is something that is huge for me... Though for some reason, I find it sometimes hard to really trust STs. I find that they are really good at hiding things, activities that would probably piss you off and act as if nothing happened. I don't know why, but I sometimes get this feeling that they might betray you in some way behind your back and never tell you about it, because they are so good at hiding it. I always get turned off when I get that feeling, and it gets worse when I'm being open in return. I really hate the secretive business.
Interesting you should say that, i do agree that ISTp's are often able to hide something from you. I had an excellent night last night with the ISTp whos leaving (). I told him that when he was drunk he told me something and he was like oh fuck. Then he had a bit of a confessional and told me a few things. Nothing serious of course i think they hide things if they think they would hurt my feelings. Ive never had the feeling that one will betray me at all though they are quite loyal people. Im pretty sure if one cheated on me though i would probablly never find out lol.
Was funny i asked him what he thought of this ENFp girl who he was sitting next to at work. He said that if she didn't have a boyfriend he would have asked her out for sure. He said he couldn't believe how well they go on together. I was like haha yeah i know. This one actually reminds me a lot of myself, except a bit cooler.
ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin
I'd write a crap load about INFjs, but they know how cool they are.
I just always get a good earthy vibe from them. Like no one else.
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
I know, it's weird... like... I dunno, like what they show me I guess is what they are, the ones I've met aren't pretentious.
It's refreshing, and they typically have an incredibly calming presence. So much so than I get very calm myself.
Also, if the world ended and we had 10 people left on the planet, theyd be the first to say "Let's repopulate it baby!"
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
i'm totally copying golden with the descriptions she has been posting.
i did a lot of sprucing up to this, so there's a good chance some of the meaning got mangled in the process, fyi.
i think this description is...well, kind of silly. and melodramatic and exaggerated. but i just spent the last half hour working through it and i figure people might be interested, so here it is, lol.
Dostoevsky - Gabin (Stratievskaya)
Relations in this dyad are very reminiscent of previous activation: the same two interact, and both are introverted-constructivists. (Unlike the previous pair - the positivists.) So they expect from each other only the best, and each wants to offer help and provide good service.
EII impressed SLI with its softness, delicacy, and kindness. The friendly, helpful and very upbeat SLI also produces a nice impression on their activator.
Relationships begin to develop very positively, and if the goals of both partners are aligned, they may find each other totally deserving and act quickly to legalize their relationship: they are both - "strategic" and can quickly achieve what they desire (more so as their positivism does not allow them to assume a deterioration in the relationship).
And yet it happens, and here's why: over time, SLI begins to "escape" from EII - move away from him. This occurs for several reasons:
SLI is comfortable in relationships outside the range, while EII keeps in communication very close distance from which is already trying not to retreat. The emotionality of the EII is constantly increasing, which in time annoys SLI because it is focused on the emotionally manipulative IEE and it is extremely necessary that their partner is under him emotionally aligned to.
But in fact, the problem is that EII cannot manipulate their emotions (the aspect of "Ethics of emotions," he is in an inert block), so SLI has to "wash out" the distance - he begins a move away from a partner, or exhibiting deliberate indifference to his senses.
SLI is not just slipping away from a partner, he seems to "slip" of the situation goes out of relationships, and, like every irrational, does it spontaneously and unpredictably - as, for example, constantly manipulating the aspect of "intuition of time": nazachennoe may cancel a meeting, or disappear for several weeks without any warning.
For EII, tailored to meticulous and punctual LSE, such a blatant faux pas is just shocking. He speculated in an attempt to explain the cause of this behavior and a partner to take every opportunity to find a relationship with him. (A very sad episode: a girl - a student (EII) in anticipation of her friend, SLI, cleaned up the apartment, leading him up, and waiting for his phone call. Late at night, when her mood has been completely ruined, he finally calls and without explanation says that today he will not be able to meet her. The girl is upset and persuades him to change the decision, promised to wait. (It's like the rational is already configured for this meeting and cannot spontaneously change their plans. Furthermore, as a program of ethics, she realizes that this man does not value her feelings and her attitude - and the relationship she really wants to keep. So at first she is soft and delicately trying to persuade him to reconsider his decision (which she cannot), then is trying to figure out the true reason for the change of his plans. But he does not know the real reason himself – he feels that he does not need her to come today and that is all. Now, this is where insults and recriminations begin, followed by a demonstrative disposition. But SLI is already trying to avoid this - seeing that he loses, says: "Okay, wait, come now!" and arrives in the morning.
So, for whatever reason, slipped a date?
First of all we have here inconsistencies in behavior of the rational and irrational partner. Each of the "activators" programmed "to your" script "of relations. EII as any rational is tuned to the consistent development of events and SLI as any irrational holds their partner through a "labyrinth" of relations, complete with all the tricks, tricks, trials and confusion. Only partners with a very strong intuition can see behind all this jumble of inconsistent acts a very definite strategy.
Therefore, here, as in the activation of each dyad is some displacement of dominant functions: trying to predict the behavior of the SLI, the EII has to put more emphasis on the creative function of "intuition of possibilities." Software ethics relationship gradually begins to take second place for two reasons: EII observes that "ethical disassembly" is very sensitive. In addition, over time, he is convinced that his partner - a faithful man, a devotee, but not too binding - and this circumstance makes EIIs more inclined to rely on their intuition - that is to act flexibly, spontaneously – like an irrational.
Thus, EII began to turn into a subtype of IEE. Question: how much he can earn this subtype, how will this account for his actions and behavior patterns, and how will it affect his relationship with stsementiruet SLI?
The answer to these questions is best illustrated by an example of one couple, who has lived in an activation marriage for more than sixty years. (She - EII, he - SLI.) They met, befriended and loved each other while they were still in early adolescence. They spent time together in the company of friends and the like - then quickly reached out to each other, so that soon everyone began to take the bride and groom, although the "bride" was almost a girl, and refers to "groom" as an older brother, (so more, both grew up without parents and were left to themselves.) They married soon after the revolution - he had just served in the army, and during that time she has had time to grow up.
And then began the new war (in which he was very actively involved) and a new, intense, stormy way of life. Moreover, in these public events attended exclusively on - led a very active life like an extrovert: he fought and expropriated, raskulachival - in short, in his house he had never been, but his wife and children belonged to it with understanding - then all was difficult.
In peacetime, he also appeared at home extremely rarely - only to eat and sleep. There were no weekends or holidays held by he and his family - there was always some urgent business that required his presence. And the wife and kids, too accustomed to this, got used and taken for granted - this time.
In his family, he gradually found himself on the situation of tenant - a peaceful, quiet, quiet - very comfortable.
The question is, where does this story activation relationship? And they are always present, but to sense the very distance - more precisely, at the optimum distance for SLI that, throughout his life, he managed all manner of hook or by crook to maintain.
By the time of his retirement, he was a member of numerous civic organizations (member of a street committee, "chairman" of the yard committee," and so on), so that, at home, he again appeared very rarely. (As befits the "classical" SLI, he came home to immediately leave.)
And what about his wife? Given that it was mileyshaya and kind woman (EII), over time, it is still corrupted nature and she literally harassed with household tantrums that started every time her husband turned his back on her to leave for whatever - the trifling errands. (SLI, too, does not just go away - at first he seems to be drifting away from the man, turns his back, and cuts it from communicating. Leaving is no longer looking back, being in some - that his very private world.)
Of course, not what - the time they spent together, and - sitting, each in his corner, and engaging each their own affairs. However, they never went anywhere - "the situation of the holiday" has remained with them long time ago, in early youth, in dosvadebnuyu time.
It so happened that each of them has intensified in itself - she loads itself up on household chores, he - the public.
And even then, when he was old enough that he had to leave social work, he, nevertheless, constantly "slipped" out of the house - just to wander around: he took her purse and set off for the alleged "market." And it particularly offended her - how can you go to the market without money and without even asking what to buy? It has its catch at the wicket and tries to return to the house. Or to find out where he really goes. The conversation always went on a raised voice, and he quickly tried to "escape" and without waiting.
She never learned to manipulate their emotions. Therefore, in trying to influence it, she had to "inflate" herself to the limit. (There was only one measure, with the aid of which it could in any way - then act on it: she had jumped up to the level of his face (it was a low height) and screamed, striked at him with his fists - in a different way, he just did not take it.) The more she screamed at him, the more calm and unruffled he seemed (a typical "complex" SLI - the problematic of the "ethics of emotions"). In response to her tantrum, he is also one of "calm" - attributed to their age and disease.
His alienation and coldness caused her immense pain. She always felt that he was slipping away from her, as eluded all their life together - but could not help it.
The last time he was on "escape" for six months before his death, when it completely stopped her to find out.
She survived him for eleven years.
All these years, she lamented that he had again left her alone, and recollected lived life together (which is considered very happy and prosperous).
Now they are together...
where is the one for the other delta activation
lse iee
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
IDK, I feel a little bit like it's propaganda for magical duality : /
It may point out a common or likely flaw in the relationship, but, to me it's a lot of socionics extrapolation
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
they're all coming from a russian forum that golden shared in a different thread. link: http://www.socioforum.su/index.php?s...d24dd3b0752c68
this is in russian so you'll need to put the url in google and click translate next to the name or something (thats what i do anyway).
i might post some more spruced up ones (like the IEE-LSE one) later on if i have the time/feel like it.
yeah i think that one couple's experience was not all type related.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
lol, i agree. and i thought the SLI sounded like a total dick and the EII was like a violent martyr wtf. the whole antecdote was just weird.
overall i think SLIs got a pretty bad slant in the description...as if standing somebody up on a date or dissapearing for weeks at a time with no explanation is type related. um, i don't think so.
Not necessarily... There are things that would go smoother with a dual, but duality has its own issues too. The article lacks in "positive" things I've experienced with SLIs, but there's something to be said about the other things mentioned, like the unpredictability of the relationship. The closest one I had experienced significant ups and downs, and it always seemed like I had the shorter end of the stick when it came to emotional needs being met. This would be probably my only reservation in being in a relationship with an SLI.
SLIs are witty. and they like to dabble in literature and poetry. they appreciate double meanings and dislike direct Fe.
I feeling like a typing idiot for mistaking one for SLE. wtf.
lol @ "SLIs gravitating towards emotionally manipulative IEEs."
There aren't many things I hate more than emotional manipulation.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
My life's work (haha):
http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/blog.php?b=709
Input, PLEASEAnd thank you
It can be pretty subtle stuff, though.Originally Posted by pianosinger
Sometimes it's not so much what you say but what you don't, or it's what your eyes say, or it's the hints you drop in what you do or don't do, or it's...
Sometimes it's so subtle they might not know it's happening, let alone you know you're even doing it.
If not "emotionally", how do you usually manipulate your husband (or anyone, for that matter)?
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
yeah, I was thinking the description was referring to manipulation as in "to adapt or change" rather than to "mislead for personal gain".
btw thanks for posting these LL. I'm not entirely sure how accurate they are on a case to case basis, but they're interesting reads nevertheless
EII INFj
Forum status: retired
-EII's, can you discuss ways in which you have felt activated by an SLI? What did they do or say that provided the Si and Te that you needed in certain situations? Can you cite specific examples?
-SLI's, in what ways did EII's provide you with activation (Fi, Ne)? Can you cite specific examples?
-What do you like the most about your Activator?
-What kind of advice have you found to be most useful from them? In what ways has your activator helped you to grow or see things differently? Can you give examples?
-What was your most negative experience and what was your most positive experience with an activator?
Thank you for answering my questions!
Oui; sorry in a French mode.
When I met my ex, we spoke a lot about humanity, love of humans, empathy, our subjective feelings about what we saw happen to our family and friends, in this, I activated his Fi with my natural inclination towards speaking about and being interested in relationship.
He, in turn did a lot of Si, relax, unwind, get comfy in certain stances for a long time, walk slowly, enjoy a drink for a long time, listen to a music for a long time; he wasn't speaking about what he experienced (which would be extraverting) but pulled me into his introverted sensory activities.
We just continued this way until I realized that I was getting too over activated with Si and really wanted a partner who was engaged with talking to me even if I wasn't doing a lot of talking back.
I love that they get my Fi and can relate to my feelings but it's kind of strange when they get over-activated because they become more emotional than I do when empathizing with the things they start associating their feelings with; it makes me feel left out of my feelings sometimes.
Naturally, they provide more Si to me; they provide Te in bouts and only so much like only necessary cases. They will do Te for me by giving examples of "why" something turned out that way (Te, being an extraverted dynamic type, strings the sequence of events and comes to a judgement or a conclusion).
I like that when you become a person of importance to them, subjectively, they do an awesome job of backing you up; if not they are insecure, untrustworthy of you, become mean, aggressive, belligerent, all as a test of who you are and what you can do for them.
Negative experience: They ignore the feelings of others and slow to respond to me. Breaking up with an SLI is very hard, especially if they still have feelings for you. They get very aggressive, angry, violent.
Positive experience: My nephew is SLI, so is my dad, and they can provide hours entertainment, bright, inquisitive, tell it like it is. We can enjoy great things like eating the foods we like, watching the sports we like.
Last edited by Beautiful sky; 12-15-2011 at 03:04 AM.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
My cousins' dad is SLI and he's always been one of my closest relatives, even though we only meet a few times a year in Christmas & birthdays. I used to be really shy as a child, but still always felt comfortable with him. Those family parties were really boring, with lots of strange adults in suits discussing tedious topics for hours and hours and I was the only child of my age around, so he spent time with me telling stories and drinking hot chocolate. He is one of the most talented judokas around here, so I naturally learned a lot about the sport. He could spend ages describing how a spesific throwing technique works or how the motion feels like in the body. He also demonstrated these things in practice and taught me some defence tricks in case I ever get attacked, which was both fun and useful.
Another thing I admired about him was his ability to handle animals, especially cats. Their family's cats are of the aggressive sort and I was slightly afraid of them when I was little, but he would just grab them and put them in strange positions to make me laugh and then after they started purring (as for some reason they seemingly enjoyed this treatment) he put them in my lap and they were all nice and calm. I don't know how much of an influence he's been on me, but learned to love cats and still wouldn't want to live without one. : ]
Hmm what else.. last summer I got my back muscles really tense and it prevented me from sleeping, I had horrible headaches etc. I don't know how much this is related to Si, but he did something with several pressure points in my muscles and in a few minutes I could actually feel how the blood began to flow there again. The next day the pain was all gone.
What comes to negative experiences with SLIs, one specific individual comes in mind. She is a great person to have conversations with, but is also so self-centered that I sometimes really wonder how people can stand her (Si paired with Fe polr..). Once we were driving around in her car with a bunch of friends, just for the fun of it, until suddenly one of us got a headache. This person wanted to drop by a pharmacy to get some ibuprofein, but the SLI said she wanted to drive another way because it had a nicer landscape & less traffic, so "you can get a bus if you really need to go there so bad". One other time she was supposed to come to my place to cook. I called her and asked if she could bring a piece of foil with her, but she said she had already put her shoes on and couldn't bother to take them off so I'd have to walk to the nearest shop (about half a mile away) to buy some. Certainly wouldn't do a favour to anyone if she didn't especially feel like it.
Last edited by willekeurig; 12-15-2011 at 05:00 AM.
agarina your cousin's dad sounds like a great person!!
Oh yeah and your friend sounds either undualized or ILI-ish maybe..
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
Their physicality is very appealing... On the other hand I've met some who are less physical and more mental, if that makes any sense. In terms or activating them, they tend to like quirky-random type humor, and at times come to me (or know that I can) come up with different ways of looking at a problem they are having. They can also be very sentimental over things that surprise me, like it means a lot to them, and I find that very "cute" (I hate using that word btw).
I don't think SLI-EII is particularly good when it comes to solving certain inter-relationship problems... That's when I notice the j/p clash which can definitely be worked on, but it's more of an "accepting you for who you are" rather than reaching some kind of mutual understanding that comes naturally to each. It's frustrating when I want to analyze a problem systematically and reach some kind of conclusion, and they seem to have a totally different approach of adaption rather than actually solving a problem and opting to "just let it go." Also, I happen to be a bit stronger in Ti focus than other EIIs, so maybe things would go smoother with other EII-SLI pairings other than my own. However, my Ne milkshake keeps bringing the SLIs to my yard at times.
SLIs have definitely helped me in chilling out when I try to analyze things too much, or becoming very rigid.