Undualized LOLz. Are you dualized WA? Is that why you're so unselfish?
Undualized LOLz. Are you dualized WA? Is that why you're so unselfish?
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
no i'm not dualized well maybe i am, partially... My mom is SEI i think, and i've had these 2-3 SLI interactions. I'm missing Te though BIG time in my daily life, and I spend a LOT of time and effort on Si seeking stuff, like it consumes my time almost entirely lately...
I'm not sure if i'm unselfish, I actually think i'm sorta selfish actually..
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
So I really like an SLI. And we've gone out a few times..just the two of us but not as a date, just to hang out. He also tried to have sex with me but was so.. physical about it. When I told him we aren't there yet and that I don't do things casually, he said it wasn't casual and that I gave him signs that i wanted it... I feel like I bother him sometimes because I always wanna be around him but it feels like he doesn't. He's the loner type. What annoys me is that today a girl mentioned that me and another dude liked each other, which I refuted, but he was so cosy with that girl. He almost ignored me completely and I don't think it was intentional... He might be into her, because he complimented her subtly and shit. Does he not know I'm into him?? Wtf.
Plus I'm not all that and he's really really hot and very cautious about his appearance and clothes etc
Anyway my question is: how do SLIs show they like you? How do I know they like me? Are they prone to play jealousy games?
Last edited by Shytan; 10-17-2018 at 10:03 PM.
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
@Shaebette I put activity relations in the bottom half due to divergent goals, priorities and approaches. Regardless of type, I wouldn't trust a person that exhibits the cues that you seem to describe; he must be very physically attractive for an EII not to immediately recoil from the potential negative issues and emotionally disconnect.....
a.k.a. I/O
Wdym divergent priorities and approaches?
And I'm sorry, it's not as intense as I made it sound, I was just upset. He respected my decision when I told him I didn't want to have sex, and we joked about it. Also, I was walking with him, the girl and another friend when I noticed that he was giving her a lot of attention, like, more than he was giving me. I also don't ACT like I want to be around him as much as I feel it, I read his cues and he's mostly alone and giving off "This is my alone time" vibes until he personally approaches me, after class or something. But yes, he's very attractive.
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
Divergent goals and expectations means that, no matter how attractive or fun you find the other person, the two of you have very different approaches to everything so you will have a hard time working together, and you will find that you naturally want to act a certain way and they don't like that (and vice-versa).
I'm not but I've read and heard of some who are. Maybe he is. I dont think is type related honestly.
Maybe he's not looking for anything serious yet. Or maybe he thinks you are not into him.
Ime, I never said I like you. But I'm also a female. I was more like trying to make them know through indirect ways I liked them or simply trying to get a date. I was very careful to make a difference between friendship and romantic interests (so it wouldnt make confusion). I don't think there is specific type behavior when they like you. Those are individual traits.
I suggest asking him or talking about your feels with him or simply trying to be more evident about your feelings.
In addition to @Adam Strange comment, SLIs tend to spend a lot of time building up defenses for themselves and using them effectively while EIIs tend to hold to beliefs that their ways are the best for everyone. Interaction between these two often appear like EIIs trying to discretely undermine castles and when the SLIs realize what's happening, the oil is brought to a boil, for which the EIIs are usually very unprepared.
a.k.a. I/O
Need. Help. Now.
Yesternight I went out with the SLI and it was really really fun and we bonded and stuff. What ruined everything was when he suggested we go back to his place. Started making out and I didn't wanna so we had a mini argument and I wanted to leave, and that ruined the whole mood. We ended up having trash sex, like.. trash trash. Mostly because I didn't want it so my downtown didn't comply but he insisted. And now I just feel pathetic and weird and like...I feel low because his first impression of me sexually is probably that I have trash p*. Also I had the smell of alcohol in my breath which put him off... I texted him expressing what I felt and that the whole experience was distasteful to me and none of us enjoyed it and that our date should've just ended at the mall. He apologized like three times and when i asked why he said it's because I feel so bad about it and we're human and things don't always go as perfectly as we want to. Anywaay my question is, can an SLI come back from such a pathetic sensory experience or will it always be at the back of his mind? It sure is at the back of mine and I don't wanna face him because I feel so weird
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
@Shytan, most of what went wrong on your date was a result of your doing stuff you didn’t want to do. Never do anything that you don’t want to do. Period.
If he’s not willing to listen to you and accommodate your wants, then he’s not mature relationship material.
I spent about five years doing sexual pinball with every woman who would have sex with me. Was I mature? No. Was I considerate? No. Was I relationship material? No. Was I ever going to settle down with these women? No. Did I care in the slightest who these women were? No. Was I an asshole? Yes, absolutely.
Most of the women I had sex with weren’t that mature, either. They were often drunk, or desperate, or enamored, or lonely, or bored, or were trying to lose their BF’s, and on and on it went. Were any of them decent human beings who would have made wonderful partners? Yes, I’m sure, but I never got close enough to find that out.
After many years of this, I started to feel really empty inside because, of course, this kind of thing is incredibly corrosive. After a particularly bad night spent with a particularly bad woman, I just stopped. I thought I would never meet a woman whom I liked enough to marry and I assumed I would never be in a relationship again. I absolutely stopped trying with women.
After two years, I met this SLI while hanging out in my Astronomy club. She seemed sensible but not my type, and we became friends. After about six months of just hanging out, she invited me over for dinner. We had a few drinks and I went right back to my old ways and started to try to undress her and she threw me out of her apartment.
I felt like a complete asshole because I had just fucked up a perfectly good friendship. I went home, cut a rose from a rosebush in my yard, wrote a note of apology, returned and put both under the windshield wiper of her car, where she’d see them in the morning.
She was teaching me to respect both her and myself.
We were married six months after that.
About activity relation between EII and SLI
It happened between me and my crush
We met each other at faculty orientation , i thought he was cold and uncaring to me. I was annoyed by himself first. After that , we become closer. But , it doesn't mean. We never get conflict. Sometimes , we get conflict too.
Sometimes , activity relation makes us feel tired. If we are too much interacting each other.
But , i really appreciate him like :
1. He is efficient
2. He is smart at class too
3. Although , many peoples say he is uncaring. But he deeply cares to me.
4. He has tidy and neat style
5. He is genuine
6. He shows affection and care with actions
Tbh , he defended me to bullies. When , i got bullied by my classmate at university.
He is nicest person , i've seen
Personal story no one cares about, but the description of the EII-SLI relationship is way too similar to what I experienced, so I had to. I'm putting it under spoiler because it's a bit long.
Last edited by Silei; 06-17-2021 at 05:11 PM.
I miss my old SLI best friend. She was the sp/sx to my sx/so, and we had a unique connection that always surmounted our differences in thinking. I probably felt closer to her than I've ever felt to another friend, but her irrationality and my rationality always clashed like a bad musical note. I don't know if I could marry someone like her, for example; I genuinely wonder at the number of very successful activity marriages I've seen.
J/P problems don't always show up right away, especially if you are deep in the magic of Activity and haven't experienced Duality. But they do show up. Boy, do they.
Also, most people's relationships are compromises to one degree or another. Even Duality requires some compromises, so if a person gets 80% of what they want covered, they often think they can live with that.
Couple examples are when a rational expects an irrational to do exactly what they say they’re going to do or stick to a certain thought process, but the irrational jumps into a different rhythm/set of plans without letting the rational know beforehand. Also, when a rational shares irrational information in a sporadic way that is colored by their rational goals, but that seems incomplete and disingenuous to the irrational.