I nominate you for the super cool infj of the year awardOriginally Posted by Lotte
I nominate you for the super cool infj of the year awardOriginally Posted by Lotte
I think what she's refering to is a Jesus-kinda guy. A type of person who is completely consumed by their own world, and doesn't let anyone else in. I imagine someone like that would be her perfect match.Originally Posted by Diana
But, I don't think it's a good idea for INTjs to try "romance types." (although I've heard that cockiness is good. Might want to try observing Cloud in Final Fantasy VII. He brings ESFJ Tifa down HARD.)
What type is Cloud?But, I don't think it's a good idea for INTjs to try "romance types." (although I've heard that cockiness is good. Might want to try observing Cloud in Final Fantasy VII. He brings ESFJ Tifa down HARD.)
INTJ
What I mean by masculine is decisive, focused, able to make his ideas happen in the physical world.
Though these men ARE strong. They have the spine of their ethics and character. And they will talk when they actually have something to say, but never gab. Which is fine by me... I'm immediately suspect of a man who talks more than I or my girlfriends do.
Yes, it's great when a man is "involved in his own thing". I enjoy supporting a man in whatever is important to him - pushing back the frontiers of science, building bridges, chopping off the litigator's head and drop-kicking it out the window. INTJ's always have SOMETHING important to them. They're not wishy washy ... or at least they don't show it.
Mike, of those 4, I was married to one, but it ended unfortunately. I'm engaged to one now, and am very, very happy. The other two were boyfriends. One wanted to marry me, but I declined ... he primarily thought that I'd be a good mother for his kids. His mistake was not being discreet about that. The fourth broke up with me... he thought I lacked ambition (he certainly didn't recognize what my ambitions are).
Oh, ha ha. I don't think "kinky" INTJs exist. I don't think they're even capable of imagining "kinky". Fine by me.
Christine, INTJ's will date you (dinners, flowers) if they know you enjoy that and they see you as a good match for them ... they seem to have to learn this flower/candy stuff though. It's my impression that they'll do what they think it takes to get what they want. They are serious when they date ... they often ask to be steady very early on. (but very sweetly decline that until YOU have had a chance to make up your mind ... this drives them nuts ... which is kind of fun ... might be one of your rare chances to see them emote.)
Pedro, how did you know I was an INFJ?
Mike you can do well with a romance type if you want to. And you'll certainly make a good mate. Please don't be discouraged. You have so much to offer.
If language is your weak spot, then learn to be comfortable with silence. Focus on action if you're more comfortable with that.
So many men now are so .... feminized. As an INTJ, I'd guess you're not one of them. That can really set you apart. Especially with more feminine women who crave stability and certainty, and decisiveness in their men.
A romantic type can create her own romance out of thin air. Learn the physical language of romance ... opening doors for women, carrying packages, little gifts etc.. A girl with imagination will fill in the rest. You don't always have to express verbally.
Yeah, they exist.Originally Posted by Lotte
INTJ
^..^
Originally Posted by Poose
You guys can't be serious when you make statements like this
That is the full tilt of being narrow minded.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Originally Posted by LotteOriginally Posted by Lotte
Originally Posted by Lotte
Sometimes pointing, repeatedly, with the index finger, works well.
But that's just in my experience
....................
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
There are two types of guys I'm attracted to for different reasons. One is the activist type which is similar to me. They tend to be romantic and sentimental but intelligent with creative interests.since we are so quiet, and rarily ever blend - what makes someone want to go over to the shy guy off to one corner, staring at this and that?
The other type is the intelligent "shy guy" who has lots of interests as well but peaceful co-existence is more important than having pushy views.
The relationship with the shy one tends to be a lot less stressful so that's appealing. But shy ones can also sometimes avoid talking about things that need to be talked about.
Either way, I could see both working out if we were both committed to making it work and didn't forget things like appreciation, respect, the art of compromise, and that I'm always right
Polly
ENTP
I'm narrow-minded????Originally Posted by UDP
INTJ
^..^
He meant Lotte. Notice the use of /bold. It was probably easier to quote your post than to quote hers and find the one scrap of text that he wanted to quote not doing so however, starts little side-tracking discussions like this which are annoying.
.
now I'm depressed
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
which things would need to be talked about?The relationship with the shy one tends to be a lot less stressful so that's appealing. But shy ones can also sometimes avoid talking about things that need to be talked about.
i've heard of this term, or metro-sexual, or something like that. but what does it mean?So many men now are so .... feminized. As an INTJ, I'd guess you're not one of them. That can really set you apart. Especially with more feminine women who crave stability and certainty, and decisiveness in their men.
for me - i'm not a man's man - i hate sports, i don't like strip clubs, i don't drink, i don't oggle-da-ladies, i don't do guy stuff. i do like tools - so i guess that's something. i'm trying to maintain smooth skin, but mostly because i can't stand the sandpaper effect i used to have.
but otherwise i'm not sure what to show. i'm kind of like a composite mold. i can shape myself to certain extents, but i need to know how, what the parameters are. i know i should be myself - but i havn't figured out what myself is yet. my real self is hidden in the corner, silent - that's the real me - and it won't work that well.
doors - checkA romantic type can create her own romance out of thin air. Learn the physical language of romance ... opening doors for women, carrying packages, little gifts etc.. A girl with imagination will fill in the rest. You don't always have to express verbally.
carrying stuff - never really came up.
gifts - check
nothing is really working so far. it's a pain not being able to say the things you want to say. i open my mouth, and it's like nothing comes out, weird. so even if i can utter the words, i can't imagine what the rest of the date would be like.
i work best in a questions and answers forum. they ask one thing and i will answer the question. however unless they ask, i won't elaborate any. the conversations i have probably confuse the other person, as i tend to not go on about any one thing. probably because i found this bored people senseless. maybe i'll find someone with a common interest - atleast i can spring board off of that - finding that person - harder.
Speak'in for my peoples, I'd like to say that it would be impossible to be all that anyone else wants you to be. Soooo just be yourself and try to understand what motivates the other gender you are particularly interested in. Their positive qualities speak for themselves and you have to figure out if that person's particular brand of crap is worth putting up with. Let's see carefully reviewing this and other threads, men are supposed to now be:
1. Empathetic to emotions and feelings we just don't buy into as valid.
2. Be decisive and authoritarian, but on command only.
3. Express what we feel with true emotion, but be cool and collected.
4. Be nuturing parental units that want to change diapers, but be traditional men.
5. Do half of all the household chores but bring home 80% to 110% of the money.
6. Be into our careers, but limit that to 40 hours so we can get home in time to cook dinner and help with homework.
7. Support our partners in whatever they want to do with their lives but settle for half a loaf ourselves.
8. Be ready for sex whenever she wants, not any other time.
9. Completely understand our partner, but be completely understanding when they don't get us.
10. Deny our basic biology and go the "metro" route, but still have that caveman quality that wants to bend you over and do you like a Hun.
I'm all over this assignment.
......and the list goes on an on. The guys are doing all this for all the perfect and well adjusted women out there. So I surrender. I'm moving to Tibet and becoming a hermit so I can deal with all my "failures" to measure up as a man-woman.
Wrong. I'm going to be me, and a good person (a trans-gender quality) and who ever I'm attracted to will either accept or reject who I am. If I want her enough and if there's an issue I'll change without feeling like I'm giving up who I am and ditto for her. Otherwise da' hell with'em.
then again, women are also expected to be superwomen. it's not just the men who have to put up with unrealistic expectations. but i digress.
but a lot of shortcomings can be 'forgiven' if you've got the qualities most important to the person who is with you. in fact, confidence alone is enough most of the time. and if you don't have that, even if you meet most of the qualities she's listed, it still probably won't happen.
32 in reality.Originally Posted by Diana
people think i'm in my early 20's (baby face)
mentally, 524
That's your opinion, that confidence is the "trump card". Some other woman might call it differently, and that in a way is my point. Nobody has a lock on the "requirements list" to be a good partner, except the individual doing the chosing. That applies to both sexes. So my solution, be me at all times. The only thing I'm willing to change about me are mutually agreed upon things with someone who I have some initial attraction. I wouldn't expect any less from a woman.Originally Posted by Kirana
my point is, that confidence (as in, self-confidence) is prerequisite to being yourself. otherwise, you're always trying to contort yourself to match what you think someone else wants.
sheesh.
Originally Posted by Kirana
and a quality point it is
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Sorry for getting in late on this thread...
You guessed right - in my case, at least.Originally Posted by Delta
Yes. It takes me a long, long, LONG time to trust someone enough to let them into my world. Usually, the only way that happens is if we see and interact with each other routinely for some reason.Originally Posted by Waddles
I can't speak for female INTJs, since I'm not one, but I wouldn't think that sexual submissiveness would be typical for INTJs in general. Speaking only for myself: I am famously reserved and reticent until you get to know me, but the way I interact with people who are part of my world is very different from the way I interact with the people who aren't.I imagine that there might be alot of hidden and raw sexuality(correct me if I am wrong, but please do respond, people) They want a person to dominate them perhaps.
I don't mind being dominated in bed, on occasion, but I've never thought of myself as "submissive". I like a mix of domination and submission, but I have plenty of enthusiasm for the former, and if I had to choose one or the other for the rest of my life, I'd probably choose to be dominant.
I don't know if my sexuality is more or less raw than the next person's, but I can tell you that it's plenty raw enough for me.
Try manipulating an INTJ sometime, and then tell me what you think about thisI think that they typically come across as very insecure and emotionally vulnerable people that can be easily manipulated.
I absolutely hate to be manipulated, and I can spot attempts to do it a mile away - and the person making the attempt usually gets their legs kicked out from under them in a more-or-less humiliating way.
Hmm. You must know some pretty atypical INTJs. It's typically regarded as a distinctly masculine personality, and most INTJs are deeply and successfully involved in intellectual pursuits.But without going too far off topic- the places that I have met INTj's are school and work. Sure some might like "comp usa" but the ones that I have met seem to be chasing their super-egos and in many regards deny their intellect and creativity in pursuit of a more girly lifestyle because, I assume, this is where they will get the attention and where repressed sexual desires can be fulfilled.
helixtherat
INTJ
Bzzzt.Originally Posted by mike_INTJ
It's probably not possible to generalize about what types and amounts of kink particular personality types are into. I'm not a fetishist or anything, but I'm very...shall we say, open-minded in bed. I really can't think of anything that would phase me that doesn't involve fresh excrement or a power drill.
helixtherat
INTJ
Be careful with comments like that, helixtherat.
People will start calling you everything from ESTp to INTj just because you aren't prototypical........
( )
Like one should really care, heh heh heh
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
I think INTJs face the same problems a lot of face when it comes to the world of dating ESPECIALLY once you hit your 30s.
Unless you are a really social type, I think its hard to find someone who is right for you when you are in your 30s. By now, we are all so stuck in our ways. Its not exactly like you can say to someone, hey, mind taking a personality and emotional maturity test prior to us dating?
Life was so much easier when I had no clue what I wanted. I let my faults hang out because its important to me that whomever I end up with like me for me...faults and all.
I'm not going to pretend I'm some domestic deva or that I will always dress up..ugh. I know what my value is as a person, as a worker etc. but what I'm not sure is, is what value I provide as a spouse.
I mean, yeah, I'm fun and not very critical or controlling. But that hasn't actually served me well in my past relationships. I have had guys complain that I'm not controlling or critical enough. So funny, guys bitch about these things yet actually want them. I sometimes feel every guy is looking for his mother.
Polly
ENTP
This is off topic, but they must've been insane.Originally Posted by Polly G
ENTP
or extremely submissive.Originally Posted by Full House
polly, please don't depress me. i'll be thirty in three years.Originally Posted by Polly_G
Being single and in 30s sucks a bit but its not so bad. Good thing is in your 30s you have other stuff going for you.
haha I was told "I" was too submissive. I think they were just "J" types who didn't get my "P".or extremely submissive.
Actually...I don't think they got the E, N, T, or P. hehe.
Polly
ENTP
Originally Posted by Polly_G
lol lol that was funny...typical Alpha humour, Polly