How do you experience your dual-seeking/suggestive function?

[lefty]

where's the proof that your fourth function is your dual seeking function? do you think its evident in your life? do you think its quite that clearly defined? can you describe ways that you find your fourth function to be dual seeking?

[strrrng]

fourth isn't dual-seeking, it's polr. 5th is dual seeking

[bibliophile8]

There are very specific ways that I think my dual seeking comes out in my life. I absolutely love musicals and theatre. One of my favorite things to do at a production is to watch a particular person's face to see how they change their expression, especially when they're not the focal point of the scene. Another would be that sometimes I notice when I'm talking to someone and I tell them something not really important, I get disappointed that they didn't have a bigger reaction. Like they should visibly or verbally care more, even if they don't actually do anything.

I think there were more, but that's all I can remember for now.

[marooned]

I kind of see it as inside I feel like I have Se, I can find it in me if I look, and I like it... Outside, however, I rarely display it. So it seems strong in my imagination, but from the perspective of an outside observer it would appear weak or non-existent. Then there's the notion of being drawn to, interested in, or somehow admiring of Se in myself and others... Maybe Se is just admirable in general, maybe it can be readily confused with self-confidence (something that can be found in anyone)... but there's a difference between being self-confident and being self-possessed. Se is will, power, motivation, desire, possession, self-preservation, fire, that sort of thing... these are things I value, but that I don't display. It's almost like Ni-leading and Se-leading are inverses of one another (well they are), and are attracted to one-another as being opposite sides of a similar essence. I'll stop now.

[marooned]

Or maybe Warlord (if he is an ILI, or just assuming he is for the sake of an example) who calls himself "Warlord" and has various Se themes in his avatar(s)/sig(s)...

[bibliophile8]

Or has a thing for romantic comedies, if they're not meaningless.

What kind of dual-seeking ringtone would an EIE have? The standard bbbrrrrringgg? Or a conservative beep?

[ScarlettLux]

Or has a thing for romantic comedies, if they're not meaningless.

What kind of dual-seeking ringtone would an EIE have? The standard bbbrrrrringgg? Or a conservative beep?

LMAO

Well I can't say I've seen my dual seeking come out in ringtone format, heh. But I do see it coming out in my being flustered and really looking for someone to calm me down, someone very stalwart and such. Especially when I am extremely emotional, on a high or low, I always make a big fuss and this is actively seeking some to help me order my thoughts/feelings systematically.

Also with LSIs, I have definitely noticed that they love musicals & theatre same as you do. They get so excited when they see some type of dramatic emotional expression.

[zenbrat]

The LSI's that I know have extensive collections of love songs... and almost nothing else.

One is a HUGE fan of Queen and modern emo bands

[bibliophile8]

Maybe a EIE would have a ringer of James Earl Jones saying "Calm down and answer your phone. Now."

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I have a hidden taste for sugary sweet pop culture but don't tell anyone...

That is NOTHING to be ashamed of! Love Paris, Britney, Madonna....my home-girl Christina. Love em 'all.

[Iconoclast IX]

Out of curiosity, how would an ENTp or ENFp express their -seeking?

[Kristiina]

One ISTj that I know just loves opera and musicals (especially with Julie Andrews). I never really understood that. I quite dislike opera. I always pick on her for that.

My dual seeking is not so easy to spot. I do want the other person to calm me down when I'm fussing too much. But also I want them to have answers to my questions. When I ask something randomly, I want a short clear answer. And I don't want the answer to depend on how exactly I phrase it. There is one truth and it can't change if I change the question a bit. It's not much to ask, right? But apparently it's very rare to find.

[Kristiina]

Out of curiosity, how would an ENTp or ENFp express their -seeking?

I know one ENFp who is very fond of cooking. He's extremely skilled. A whole other level of cooking. His ISTp wife aprechiates it a lot. He also has the dominant trait that he gets bored quickly so he tries new recipes very often.

Another ENFp - my sister - also likes cooking. Mostly cakes and cookies.

ENTps seem to like like relaxing in general. Beach, quality beds, comfy sofas... Maybe it's because they don't have hidden agenda and they don't need to be practical all the time. They want to have fun.

[bibliophile8]

How does one express Ni hidden agenda? Are they looking for someone with a grand life plan or vision for the future who can direct their efforts? Or something else? I'm not sure how this would be expressed...

[PotatoSpirit]

How does one express Ni hidden agenda? Are they looking for someone with a grand life plan or vision for the future who can direct their efforts? Or something else? I'm not sure how this would be expressed...

Maybe by thinking you know what's gonna happen while you're really clueless.

[Blaze]

I know one ENFp who is very fond of cooking. He's extremely skilled. A whole other level of cooking. His ISTp wife aprechiates it a lot. He also has the dominant trait that he gets bored quickly so he tries new recipes very often.

Another ENFp - my sister - also likes cooking. Mostly cakes and cookies.

ENTps seem to like like relaxing in general. Beach, quality beds, comfy sofas... Maybe it's because they don't have hidden agenda and they don't need to be practical all the time. They want to have fun.

yeah....cooking, decorating, atmospheric music, comfortable environment with visual appeal. at least this is what i do.

[strrrng]

liking to relax and enjoying good food is not Si...

[Kristiina]

liking to relax and enjoying good food is not Si...

Yes it is. Everyone has all the functions, so everyone likes to relax and enjoy good food. valuing types just actually take it seriously! One ENTp spent $1000 on a bed, one ENTp/ESFj spends horrible amounts of money on food, etc. I used to have the habit to boil either pasta or porridge when I got hungry. 4 times a week of pasta with ketchup was not a problem for me. I just wanted to eat something, anything! Not like I'd take much time to plan what I eat! More like, "Gotta find something to eat. Nothing here! Ok, porridge it is!".

Relaxing=/=sitting still. All IPs (temperament) sit still a lot, but only dominant IPs think that just sitting there has a purpose of its own!

[Expat]

Kristiina's post is spot on.

One example. My SEI ex-boss actually bragged about spending two weeks on the island of Elba (of Napoleon fame) doing nothing but lazing about, eating, drinking, suntanning, etc. I also like to spend some time in nice places, but not two weeks "relaxing". I

[tiny_dancer]

Pasta with ketchup?!? *gasps in horror*

[ScarlettLux]

Pasta with ketchup?!? *gasps in horror*

Hey! It's actually quite good!

[snegledmaca]

I sometimes put ketchup on lettuce. Tastes quite nice.

[Kristiina]

I sometimes put ketchup on lettuce. Tastes quite nice.

Hahahaaa... Never tried that. Not sure if I'd be brave enough, lol. But lettuce with ketchup-mayo-sour cream is delicious. I make excellent food when I cook! But usually salat is just tomato-cucumber-salt-pepper. Mix and eat. yay!

[Logos]

Hey! It's actually quite good!

-PoLR indeed.

[PotatoSpirit]

O_O
pasta
O_O
with
O_O
ket
ket
oh I can't even say it. The horror.

[Kristiina]

hahahaaaahhaaaaaaa giggle giggle. yumm!

[bibliophile8]

You know, in some places, they put mayo on their french fries...

le burger royale

[/movie reference done poorly and probably incorrectly]

[tiny_dancer]

My sisters used to eat ketchup sandwiches when they were little. Yup, that's two slices of bread with a layer of ketchup in between. WTF?

[Wittmont]

My sisters used to eat ketchup sandwiches when they were little. Yup, that's two slices of bread with a layer of ketchup in between. WTF?

Yup two of my cousins (girls) did that too >_<

Maybe ketchup is a secret component in Duality Seeking in some types

[lefty]

__________________
LII (I think)
but maybe LSI or ILE, but probably not
um, yeah.

"****** wasn't evil, he was just a failed artist."

hmm interesting. that's true about ****** which futher, i think, counters peoples retarded claims that he is an NF of some kind. ****** was really a failed architect, though...he wanted to be able to transform his drawing or whatever into suddenly having the ability to design buildings, but he couldn't because he was a moron. i think he was a gamma and the whole thing wreaks of damaged fi which turned into ne focused wrath. funny how I guess Germany had just lost some battle or had been occupied and so germans were dealing with maybe the same loss of confidence....However he was evil...i think his fi was malignantly narcissistic which is closely in lined with anti-social pd and psychopathology. of course he was evil.

[lefty]

ok so it seems we can't even for sure establish which function is the dual seeking function and then from there its just all condiments. lol.

[bibliophile8]

hmm interesting. that's true about ****** which futher, i think, counters peoples retarded claims that he is an NF of some kind. ****** was really a failed architect, though...he wanted to be able to transform his drawing or whatever into suddenly having the ability to design buildings, but he couldn't because he was a moron. i think he was a gamma and the whole thing wreaks of damaged fi which turned into ne focused wrath. funny how I guess Germany had just lost some battle or had been occupied and so germans were dealing with maybe the same loss of confidence....However he was evil...i think his fi was malignantly narcissistic which is closely in lined with anti-social pd and psychopathology. of course he was evil.

Wow, you put a lot of thought into that. I was taking the quotation to be more about the importance of the artist in all of us.

[FlameReborn]

The thing is, I can imagine needing, and looking for, any of those functions in others. Maybe because I choose to approach this from the angle that every function can have value in my life if I let it and know its proper use for me.

I guess I'm fairly conscious of my dual-seeking function as long as I don't read threads like these and call my inner world into question. I suppose I can get along with anyone, and people in general tend to like me, if they can get past my aura of inapproachability. But I've always been drawn to strong people, but a strength tampered by something that feels like love and honor. Se + Fi? And the only things I can recall that ever put me in crisis had to do with my close relationships. There are factors that maybe don't relate to Socionics, but in general that area is all that has ever put me out of my game.

That being said, this reminds me of a quotte by Carl Jung:

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will guide your life and you will call it Fate."

[iAnnAu]

As far as it goes, I would say this is very accurate indeed, and that I am quite aware of it.

I admire people who 'travel light', and long not necessarily to have the same lifestyle, but rather the ability to be able to choose it and have it be natural as opposed to forced. I tend to portray myself as an average guy, and in many ways I am, yet I have several interests and a certain method of behaviour that is unique (though perhaps not interesting or exciting). This is a point of contention because I often feel it shouldn't be publicly displayed as it will just invite unproductive ridicule (no one gives a shit about mass extinctions or arcane music trivia). I really value someone who can accept my oddities with grace and reflect back a type of subtle emotion. Alas, I don't know anyone who can do that (or who is willing to). Of course, I will never actually do anything to seek it out, either.

Glad you pulled those descriptions over, FMH. And I relate to everything you said above (except my esotericisms aren't so much about mass extinctions or music trivia). I do tend to be the one traveling light, but I certainly see it as a choice, and in some ways I know I would have a lot more adventures if I would not sit so lazily on my material comforts. But I like for the adventure to come to me, as well as the acceptable person to share it with.

[Wynch]

Si Crisis:

There was a time, many years ago, when I suffered for lack of Si in my life. I had this very bad moment that felt like a microcosm of my life at the time.

I was driving somewhere (I don't remember specifically where) and my car ran out of gas, because I never seemed to remember to fill the tank. It was the winter and I had to walk quite a way to the gas station, but I hadn't dressed appropriately for the weather so I was freezing. It was all slushy and I wasn't wearing boots and my feet were wet and cold and I kept slipping. And I'd forgotten to eat breakfast that morning so I was hungry and uncomfortable. This was one of the worst moments in my life. I was miserable. Luckily, I ran into someone I knew at the gas station and she gave me a lift back to my car. Still, I remember walking to the gas station and I kept thinking in my head the whole walk how much my life sucked.
This kind of thing happened over and over and over again.

An Si crisis is when a bunch of things you haven't taken care of hit you at once. You forgot to pay a bill and you feel stupid because you were *sure* you'd put in in the mail and there it was acting as a bookmark in a book you were reading, and you don't have any groceries in the house and you are hungry, and your car is making a funny noise and you don't want to take it somewhere because they'll probably rip you off and you'll be without your car for a week, and you don't have enough time to get laundry done before work so you're going to end up being late, and it feels like the universe is caving in on you. You feel helpless and unable to take care of yourself.

this does sound like an IEE crisis, sort of related to not being organized and the consequences for comfort issues. seems like it could be connected to a Ti polr. ILE crisis would likely be connected to some kind of relationship issue.

Wow, I totally disagree with you here, Blaze. At the end of Slacker Mom's post all I could think was YES. YES. If anything, I don't even want to THINK about relationships. Relationship issues would make me annoyed, but if I felt they were in the way I would just block it off and pretend it wasn't there. I can get to the point where Si neglect becomes too much and overwhelms me.

My Si crisis hits because I'll go for a while not paying attention to what my body needs, or how my environment is, or generally ignoring things in my life that make me feel comfortable and peaceful. Suddenly all these things will pile up and I look around. My room is so messy I can barely walk anywhere, I have no clean clothes for the day, I have no food in the fridge and I'm hungry, but I'm tired because I stayed up too late last night chatting with Steve about playdough socionics so I don't want to go to the grocery store. But maybe if I steal some of my roomie's food I can take the edge off my hunger and go back to sleep then hit up the store a little later. So I stumble through my crap and make it downstairs, where my roomie hasn't done his dishes in 5 days and there's no room in the sink to clean any one dish so that I can fry up some eggs. I'm lactose intolerant so I can't steal his milk for some cereal... And suddenly it hits me and I just want to cry because nothing is working and I just want to feel like everything is in place. And my god, if someone were to come and just give me a hug and say, "I'll make you some eggs. Don't worry about it for now, we'll deal with it eventually," I would probably turn into a puddle on the floor. And the thought of having someone in my life who would think to take my hand and say "Let's go lie in the sunshine together, it's a nice day," blows my mind into about a million pieces. I love lying around in the sun, but it's never a priority in my head so it never happens.

I guess for me the world just comes in jolting moments, and I don't want to miss any of it. It's like if I turn my attention away from whatever I'm thinking about for even a second, I'll miss something important. I probably will, actually. It's like every thought is some profound new discovery and I need to see what it entails. I must follow every thought to completion. And because I'm so caught up in all the flashing neon exclamation marks over my head, it I tend to totally forget about the things in my life that keep me grounded. I love those things, and it makes me feel great when it's there, it's just not a conscious priority so it often gets left behind. But eventually all of that stuff I've been forgetting about piles up and I suddenly land back in reality where it seems overwhelming. I don't always let it get that bad, but sometimes it happens and it's kind of traumatizing. The example of physical needs is an obvious and more concrete one, I don't think a crisis will happen with Si in any other way for me because I enjoy thinking too much to worry about the fact that I haven't been to the beach in days. I won't hit the melting point with that kind of mindset unless I've REALLY been neglecting Si, which doesn't happen that badly, lol.

[Rubicon]

My Ne-seeking becomes obvious when everything in my life gets so routine that there seems like there's no out. The world's getting smaller and smaller on me and I'm walking the same path every day - and the more I walk it, the deeper the groove gets, until climbing out of it seems like a daunting task. And people think "Hey, she's really got her life under control - doing everything right." But meh - I can feel the pressure building; I'm going to do something stupid soon - anything - just to shake things up a bit. Things I enjoyed doing once don't interest me anymore, but going about finding things that do seems like a hairy, frustrating experience. Yeah, I see tons of options, but which ones are legitimate? All the paths look dark and questionable, so I stick to what I know. I find myself doing things that I once found pleasant and entertaining just out of habit. Until it hits me one day that I'm not enjoying what I'm doing anymore, and that thought is incredibly suppressive and depressing. Why can't feelings just last? I try to mix things up, but it doesn't feel right when I do it. So unspontaneous. Lol - you think changing around your schedule a bit is going to make life more interesting? Lol @ me. I start doing little random things at whim. A relationship with someone is boring, so I take issue with some minor thing they do just for the hell of it. Or yeah, I might stumble upon something that makes my day ... like the other day, I was walking home past this old church that I've walked past a million times. And I was feeling meh and bleh, so I went in to have a look. And the interior is beautiful and there's a grand piano in the corner. There was no one else in there, and the atmosphere is awesome, so I start playing and played for hours. So now I go there a lot when I'm sick of practicing. But it'll become routine soon. Or a priest will kick me out. lol

[Jimbean]

hmm, that all sounds weird to me. Interesting though.

[mikemex]

Well I observed a small "Ne crisis" today.

I was accompanying my SEI friend to buy some stuff but suddenly we noticed that the usual path coming from the store was blocked and that there is no obvious way to return home. I then saw her freaking out not knowing what to do and being afraid of getting lost exploring unknown paths so she asks me to drive home. The magic pill for her anxiety was simply the phrase "don't worry, I'll find the way".

Ten minutes later we were on known lands and she even enjoyed the ride.

[munenori2]

My Ne-seeking becomes obvious when everything in my life gets so routine that there seems like there's no out. The world's getting smaller and smaller on me and I'm walking the same path every day - and the more I walk it, the deeper the groove gets, until climbing out of it seems like a daunting task. And people think "Hey, she's really got her life under control - doing everything right." But meh - I can feel the pressure building; I'm going to do something stupid soon - anything - just to shake things up a bit. Things I enjoyed doing once don't interest me anymore, but going about finding things that do seems like a hairy, frustrating experience. Yeah, I see tons of options, but which ones are legitimate? All the paths look dark and questionable, so I stick to what I know. I find myself doing things that I once found pleasant and entertaining just out of habit. Until it hits me one day that I'm not enjoying what I'm doing anymore, and that thought is incredibly suppressive and depressing. Why can't feelings just last? I try to mix things up, but it doesn't feel right when I do it. So unspontaneous. Lol - you think changing around your schedule a bit is going to make life more interesting? Lol @ me. I start doing little random things at whim.

Jem, I think you put it all into just the right words. Beautiful!

[Suomea]

My Ne-seeking becomes obvious when everything in my life gets so routine that there seems like there's no out. The world's getting smaller and smaller on me and I'm walking the same path every day - and the more I walk it, the deeper the groove gets, until climbing out of it seems like a daunting task. And people think "Hey, she's really got her life under control - doing everything right." But meh - I can feel the pressure building; I'm going to do something stupid soon - anything - just to shake things up a bit. Things I enjoyed doing once don't interest me anymore, but going about finding things that do seems like a hairy, frustrating experience. Yeah, I see tons of options, but which ones are legitimate? All the paths look dark and questionable, so I stick to what I know. I find myself doing things that I once found pleasant and entertaining just out of habit. Until it hits me one day that I'm not enjoying what I'm doing anymore, and that thought is incredibly suppressive and depressing. Why can't feelings just last? I try to mix things up, but it doesn't feel right when I do it. So unspontaneous. Lol - you think changing around your schedule a bit is going to make life more interesting? Lol @ me. I start doing little random things at whim. A relationship with someone is boring, so I take issue with some minor thing they do just for the hell of it. Or yeah, I might stumble upon something that makes my day ... like the other day, I was walking home past this old church that I've walked past a million times. And I was feeling meh and bleh, so I went in to have a look. And the interior is beautiful and there's a grand piano in the corner. There was no one else in there, and the atmosphere is awesome, so I start playing and played for hours. So now I go there a lot when I'm sick of practicing. But it'll become routine soon. Or a priest will kick me out. lol

Thank god there are people like you in the world.