Male ESFj types have strong
and so they might quite often look like ESTj types instead. But I guess that look-a - like relations got the name from how people first show their role function and appear to be someone else. INTj to be INFj etc. But role function is like a mask and it comes off leaving person with it's programm function in the end, just give it a time. If a guy you you met is not serious for a longer time and starts makeing silly jokes, then there you have it- a ESFj male.
BTW. Can you have this feeling like the woman is your wife though you too are not dateing , also in the Relation of Benefit? I know ESFj woman and every time we meet, I have this feeling that she is my wife and we are one mind in two bodies.