Quote Originally Posted by ishysquishy
Quote Originally Posted by Megan.
I am almost certain of where males are concerned is that it is better for them to pursue you than you them. If they are really, really interested, they will pursue you(even the shy ones).
It is fun to pursue males sometimes, but if they give in and establish a relationship with you they tend to be quite neglectful and not quite as caring throughout the entire relationship. Let them work, before and after, do not deprive them of this, it is good for them and you, initial passivity in males is usually not a good sign.
What's wrong with passivity in males?

Joy - I don't think it's true, not for all males anyway.
Thank you ishy, I knew there had to be a reasonable voice in the crowd, and I am suprised in took days to appear. I, however, am not suprised that you're the one who it is coming from. =)

To be quite honest, I am extremely offended by the notion, and I am quite suprised that some of the people here agreed. "All healthy relationships are iniated by men..." It's so preposterous that I don't even know where to begin... What about men who just aren't comfortable doing that? Are we saying that there is something wrong with them, that all healthy men ought to desire to initiate their relationships? To make such a blanket statement regarding gender is quite foolish and clearly extremely biased to society's expectations, just as much so as saying that all men should be the breadwinner or all women should want babies.

Also, there does not need to be a specific "hunter" and "hunted". Obviously both people need to be interested in order for the relationship to work, so there's generally a little bit of a "the ball's in your court now" kinda thing going on. Say one person lets the other know that there is interest. It is probably best for the other person to say a little bit of interest in return before the first person continues to try to push things forward. Both people should be making an effort to move things in a romantic direction, even if one is more forward than the other.

I guess what I'm saying is that it really offends me to hear someone who I regard as wise (that's you megan) make such a blanket statement about gender. I'm just as offended for the men as I am for them women. Actually, I take that back. The whole point is that there are not (or at least ought not be) clearly defined male or female roles. We're all just people!!! Each of us is an individual, and there are a hell of a lot more things that make up each of us and determine who we are than our just gender.

I know I tend to go off on rants about male/female roles more often than most, and I really want to make the point that this is not about me being a feminazi. To hold women as being more important or deserving or priviledged than men is just as offensive to me as holding men in that position. My whole point is and always has been that gender is not THAT important!

I know that my attitude about initiating relationships isn't the healthiest... for me, if a guy wants to assure that I will never date him, the best way to go about it is to hit on me. Yes, that's a little extreme, and I know that I have some issues to work through. Regardless of whatever those may be, my stance on this subject will remain the same: I do not believe that there are gender defined roles in relationships or in society. When people make statements such as megan's, I am offended for humans of any gender.