Originally Posted by
liveandletlive
OK good duality description...
- Last night my INTp friend comes over and we're drinking a little bit talking about life, whatever. I wanted to make him laugh and I showed him this comic strip I drew in class because everyone who's seen it thought it was hilarious. It was 3 stages of BU love- Stage 1: girl says to boy "I like you!" and boy says "I like you too!" Stage 2: boy has sex with girl saying "Oooohhh yeah!" Stage 3: girl calls boy saying "I miss you" and boy picks up saying "Why are you calling me?" haha i thought he would life as stereotypical as I thought it was. I show him it and he was like I don't get it. And I was like oh c'mon this is the like most overused stereotype in movies and tv and conversations, how could you NOT know this? He flipped a shit and ran out of my house (because he has issues trying to get laid... basically it doesn't happen- i guess he internalized the comic strip's joke??) in which I was running after him in stilettos 4 blocks down the straight until he finally turned around. I apologized and the next 2 hours were dedicated to me having to make up for my actions and try to make him happy while he still looked sad and was still bitching about something that wasn't my fault. THEN i started to just feel disgusted by him and i was about to cry cuz he was being so mean to me- i couldn't even look at him, and then he was like "Is it sick and twisted that I'm happy rite now?" I just walked away from him. This whole thing wasn't even my fault!! We ended up making up he realized he was wrong and I realized I probably shouldn't have been like how can u NOT get this?? and make it even worse. His argument was that he never experienced that situation so therefore he can't know about it... we're fine now i just wanted to show our duality relationship a little and to show that ESFp's aren't the only ones who can't control their emotions.
By the way, if you made it to the end of this you're awesome :wink:
He really just needs to have sex, why dont you have sex with him? hahaha.............................. kind of.
lol
Also, it MIGHT be that he interpreted you as being a whore.... I know this sounds strange, but ILIs really hate girls who are whores.. and ESFps can SEEM like whores, until you get to know them and you realize they're kind of the opposite; well at least they are not whores physically... OK I should reword this: whore.. not limited to sex, but more to emotional whorism. But sex is part of it, to the extent sex is linked to emotions in the mind.
ILI will constantly doubt the sincerity of other peoples affections toward them... One thing ESFPs can be, is emotional whores.
So this is all speculation, but it is possible he associated the comic strip, with you not loving him completely.. This only meaning your emotions are not devoted SOLEY to him; Got angry at the whole world not loving him (his Fi function went nuts) Actually, I think that's the most likely thing. Since he has emotions for you he will project all his mental insecurities onto you. This is basically the problem with duality: they bring out eachothers mental disorders.
ESFps have a mental disorder we bring out in them too... that's for later thinking about
Don't let some of the stupid ideas on this thread confuse you.. He is ILI
In the dual relationship, it's important the partners be mentally stable...
This ILI clearly has a mental disorder.
What he really wanted, was for you to say ..... !!!awwww, I love you.. its just a joke... etc. perhaps in less direct and cheesy language.
But of course, even if you did say that... he may of shyed away from it, because of a mental disorder where he is afraid compromising his emotions.
Well... that is also a complicated issue.
Best just to find a healthy ILI.. well, at least one healthy ENOUGH to work with.
The extreme end ILI will lash out like you describe, and basically become violently angry (not physically, but emotionally and verbally violent)
You want an ILI who you can work with, who doesn't just get to that point ... who isnt like a runaway train.
ILIs come on a continuum of 1 Crazy >>>>> Super stable 10
We have a really high variance
On top of all this, it is possible he is right, and you aren't completely "loyal" to him.. loyal in the sense your emotions "belong" to him.. that you are, in his terms an emotional whore.. which really, for one thing everyone is, and he himself is too... ironic. And, it is not natural or even healthy for this kind of loyalty to exist. It is authoritarian.. and basically a response to his fearing his emotions. An ILI is a radar detector to insincerity of emotional investment, even the most minor.. And I really do mean minor, glitch, will show up on their radar.
At least the more emotional ILIs are.
But again, don't want to imply this isnt a mental disorder..
I'm sure there are ILIs who don't have this tendency, because their emotions aren't repressed