I am an ESFJ married to an INTJ (guy). We are both fairly "textbook" in our type descriptions. The truth is that our relationship is as rewarding as it is challenging. The chemistry is AMAZING because we are both so drawn to the other's differences. We bring out the best, and at times, the worst, in each other for sure, but I love my husband beyond belief, and could not imagine being with someone else. Being an ESFJ, I sometimes do get my feelings hurt by my husband's direct and abrupt nature, but I know that he in not TRYING to be insensitive. We are getting better at letting the other just be themselves, which is what we were drawn to in the beginning anyway!! It is true that we are POLAR OPPOSITES in personality, but we have a remarkable amount in common too. We react and express things very differently, but we understand that in each other. The toughest challenge obviously is in communication, and getting my husband to understand that I simply can't think like him (INTJ). As an INTJ, he does have EXTREMLY high expectations, but he is getting better at realizing very very few people are quite like him. He may not be the fluffy and cutesy-wootsie type, but he makes up for that by being uncommonly strong, competent, dedicated, hardworking, and protective.
Typical of ESFJ, I have elaborated quite a lot, but I think that the duality of ESFJ and INTJ CAN be a GREAT match. It's certainly not an EASY match, but it is very HOT (grrrr!!), satisfying and rewarding partnership