LIE-LSI Mirage/Illusionary relations (ISTj & ENTj)

[Rebelondeck]

Most of these relationships seem to work well although the ISTjs seemed to do the lion's share of the grunt work while the ENTjs determine direction and goals. However, relationships will only work when there's a distinct division of roles and power. The ENTjs would have to let the ISTjs do it their own ways (no micromanagement) while the ISTjs have to understand, accept and deliver what the ENTjs want. ENTjs seem somewhat impressed by people who can do practical things for them and ISTjs usually have that in spades.

a.k.a. I/O

[Adam Strange]

Most of these relationships seem to work well although the ISTjs seemed to do the lion's share of the grunt work while the ENTjs determine direction and goals. However, relationships will only work when there's a distinct division of roles and power. The ENTjs would have to let the ISTjs do it their own ways (no micromanagement) while the ISTjs have to understand, accept and deliver what the ENTjs want. ENTjs seem somewhat impressed by people who can do practical things for them and ISTjs usually have that in spades.

a.k.a. I/O

Actually, @Rebelondeck, my relationship with the LSI was kind of the reverse of that (re: grunt work vs goals). I (the LIE) provided financial support and fixed things around her house. She suggested things to do on the weekends (which was practically the only time when I was there), like day trips to museums, walks in the woods, or classical concerts. She also cooked (and she was a fantastic cook - one of those naturals who improves the food while she's cooking it, while I can barely follow a recipe) and she was unfailingly emotionally supportive.

Initially, we clashed on how to do every little thing, but we very quickly converged on a separation of roles for every day activities. Where we completely disagreed was in long range goals.

And yes, I agree that I did absolutely zero micromanaging and she did understand what I wanted. Mostly.

I need to stop thinking about this. Otherwise I'm too likely to pick up the phone and call her.

To paraphrase, "the good that we had lives after our relationships. The evil is oft interred with their bones."

[Rebelondeck]

........Actually, @Rebelondeck, my relationship with the LSI was kind of the reverse of that (re: grunt work vs goals).........

I can see that generating a bit of a problem. I don't see you providing a lion's share if you were only available weekends; note that money isn't work. What does she do without you - I would assume that she's surviving? Both of you likely habituated into overlapping role patterns because of history and some of those are hard to undo......

a.k.a I/O

[Soupman]

Actually, @Rebelondeck, my relationship with the LSI was kind of the reverse of that (re: grunt work vs goals). I (the LIE) provided financial support and fixed things around her house. She suggested things to do on the weekends (which was practically the only time when I was there), like day trips to museums, walks in the woods, or classical concerts. She also cooked (and she was a fantastic cook - one of those naturals who improves the food while she's cooking it, while I can barely follow a recipe) and she was unfailingly emotionally supportive.

Initially, we clashed on how to do every little thing, but we very quickly converged on a separation of roles for every day activities. Where we completely disagreed was in long range goals.

And yes, I agree that I did absolutely zero micromanaging and she did understand what I wanted. Mostly.

I need to stop thinking about this. Otherwise I'm too likely to pick up the phone and call her.

To paraphrase, "the good that we had lives after our relationships. The evil is oft interred with their bones."

I don't know what theory of socionics you subscribe to but it seems like the problems you are describing also come with duality since temperament issues and competition for roles and goals are also present. Isn't the emotionality Vs lack of emotionality the issue?

Unless you've fallen for the fallacy of concluding it's duality when we get along, and not when we do not.

[FDG]

I don't know what theory of socionics you subscribe to but it seems like the problems you are describing also come with duality since temperament issues and competition for roles and goals are also present. Isn't the emotionality Vs lack of emotionality the issue?

Unless you've fallen for the fallacy of concluding it's duality when we get along, and not when we do not.

Usually ExTx - IxFx relationships work more easily than how Adam describes because the IxFx types kind of naturally complies to the ExTx. Yes even ESIs are somewhat this way even if they dislike to admit it. It´s often simply a matter of energy levels.

[nanashi]

Actually, @Rebelondeck, my relationship with the LSI was kind of the reverse of that (re: grunt work vs goals). I (the LIE) provided financial support and fixed things around her house. She suggested things to do on the weekends (which was practically the only time when I was there), like day trips to museums, walks in the woods, or classical concerts. She also cooked (and she was a fantastic cook - one of those naturals who improves the food while she's cooking it, while I can barely follow a recipe) and she was unfailingly emotionally supportive.

Initially, we clashed on how to do every little thing, but we very quickly converged on a separation of roles for every day activities. Where we completely disagreed was in long range goals.

And yes, I agree that I did absolutely zero micromanaging and she did understand what I wanted. Mostly.

I need to stop thinking about this. Otherwise I'm too likely to pick up the phone and call her.

To paraphrase, "the good that we had lives after our relationships. The evil is oft interred with their bones."

yeah, I am not even that fixy, but i still end up doing the muscles bit for my ESTP? and IEI friends. They help me have social and physical pleasure.