LIE-LSI Mirage/Illusionary relations (ISTj & ENTj)

[Adam Strange]

I am an LIE male and I dated an LSI female for two years. I think she was first attracted to me because I was kind to a person whom no one else liked.

I recognized her type immediately, knew that she'd be rational and easy to get along with, so I invited her out to dinner just to socialize. While we were sitting in the restaurant, she asked me what's my deal? I told her that I'm divorced and looking, but not looking for her. She got really insulted and said she felt like leaving the restaurant, but I said "Wait a minute. Don't tell me that you don't have a list of things you are looking for. If we got together, we'd like each other a lot, the sex would be terrific, and it would last three months."
While she's thinking about this, the check comes, she watches me pay it without blinking (it was a very nice restaurant) and she thinks, "This guy isn't cheap, he's not bad looking, and there's something about him (Mirage, if you were wondering). In three months, I think I can change his mind."
Well, it lasted two years because Mirage has its good points, but eventually the constant misunderstandings got to be too much for me and I ended it.

So yesterday, I was talking to this 31 year old LIE about business and how to make money and navigate the business world, and the talk got around to business vs home life and raising kids, and he said his wife is an airline pilot and makes a high income, so if they have kids, it is likely that he will become a house husband. Which he was OK with. He showed me a picture of himself and his wife. He looked deliriously happy and she VI'd LSI. (Hey, the sex and emotional support between LIE and LSI can be very, very good.)

Alarm bells started to go off in my head. I asked him if she's very logical and he said "Yes, how did you know?"
I asked him if she liked to go to the theater, and again he said yes.
Does she like it when you really show her how you feel about her, like when you really express your emotions?
Yes, again.
I said, "I had a GF like that for a while. She and I got along great emotionally, but we had a hard time agreeing on how to work together. Even on short term, daily projects, we clashed, to say nothing about trying to make long range plans."
"Yes! That's exactly how my wife and I are. We can't agree on anything. Not even something simple, like where we're going to eat."

At this point, I was regretting the fact that I opened my mouth and decided to bring this convo to a halt. Some people can last in a relationship and be very happy for many, many years. It all depends on what you are willing to put up with and how much compromise you are willing to make, and I think my friend is pretty happy with his prospects and doesn't need to have someone plant any seeds of possible discord in his life by pointing him toward Stratiyevskaya's analysis of LIE-LSI relations.

I told him that my GF liked it when I expressed my desire for her very openly and I never lied to her, not in the slightest. I hope that helps him a bit.

I clearly need to keep my mouth shut about this socionics stuff.

[Number 9 large]

I am an LIE male and I dated an LSI female for two years. I think she was first attracted to me because I was kind to a person whom no one else liked.

I recognized her type immediately, knew that she'd be rational and easy to get along with, so I invited her out to dinner just to socialize. While we were sitting in the restaurant, she asked me what's my deal? I told her that I'm divorced and looking, but not looking for her. She got really insulted and said she felt like leaving the restaurant, but I said "Wait a minute. Don't tell me that you don't have a list of things you are looking for. If we got together, we'd like each other a lot, the sex would be terrific, and it would last three months."
While she's thinking about this, the check comes, she watches me pay it without blinking (it was a very nice restaurant) and she thinks, "This guy isn't cheap, he's not bad looking, and there's something about him (Mirage, if you were wondering). In three months, I think I can change his mind."
Well, it lasted two years because Mirage has its good points, but eventually the constant misunderstandings got to be too much for me and I ended it.

So yesterday, I was talking to this 31 year old LIE about business and how to make money and navigate the business world, and the talk got around to business vs home life and raising kids, and he said his wife is an airline pilot and makes a high income, so if they have kids, it is likely that he will become a house husband. Which he was OK with. He showed me a picture of himself and his wife. He looked deliriously happy and she VI'd LSI. (Hey, the sex and emotional support between LIE and LSI can be very, very good.)

Alarm bells started to go off in my head. I asked him if she's very logical and he said "Yes, how did you know?"
I asked him if she liked to go to the theater, and again he said yes.
Does she like it when you really show her how you feel about her, like when you really express your emotions?
Yes, again.
I said, "I had a GF like that for a while. She and I got along great emotionally, but we had a hard time agreeing on how to work together. Even on short term, daily projects, we clashed, to say nothing about trying to make long range plans."
"Yes! That's exactly how my wife and I are. We can't agree on anything. Not even something simple, like where we're going to eat."

At this point, I was regretting the fact that I opened my mouth and decided to bring this convo to a halt. Some people can last in a relationship and be very happy for many, many years. It all depends on what you are willing to put up with and how much compromise you are willing to make, and I think my friend is pretty happy with his prospects and doesn't need to have someone plant any seeds of possible discord in his life by pointing him toward Stratiyevskaya's analysis of LIE-LSI relations.

I told him that my GF liked it when I expressed my desire for her very openly and I never lied to her, not in the slightest. I hope that helps him a bit.

I clearly need to keep my mouth shut about this socionics stuff.

Dude every girl likes it when u open up and show ur emotions lol, also the "girls not knowing where to eat" bullshit is like a running gag in mens lockerroom talk community, but yea

[Myst]

I am an LIE male and I dated an LSI female for two years. I think she was first attracted to me because I was kind to a person whom no one else liked.

I recognized her type immediately, knew that she'd be rational and easy to get along with, so I invited her out to dinner just to socialize. While we were sitting in the restaurant, she asked me what's my deal? I told her that I'm divorced and looking, but not looking for her. She got really insulted and said she felt like leaving the restaurant, but I said "Wait a minute. Don't tell me that you don't have a list of things you are looking for. If we got together, we'd like each other a lot, the sex would be terrific, and it would last three months."
While she's thinking about this, the check comes, she watches me pay it without blinking (it was a very nice restaurant) and she thinks, "This guy isn't cheap, he's not bad looking, and there's something about him (Mirage, if you were wondering). In three months, I think I can change his mind."
Well, it lasted two years because Mirage has its good points, but eventually the constant misunderstandings got to be too much for me and I ended it.

1. Her thinking isn't typical for LSI at all. It's typical NF thinking about changing the other person's mind about the relationship. It requires 1) confidence in Ethical area/manipulation of feelings 2) future/possibilities oriented Intuition. To me trying to do all this or even just considering to do it just would be *incredibly* stressful.
2. I would never choose someone just because they were able to pay a bill at a nice restaurant.
3. I didn't have *constant* misunderstandings with any LIE. Some but constant? No.

So yesterday, I was talking to this 31 year old LIE about business and how to make money and navigate the business world, and the talk got around to business vs home life and raising kids, and he said his wife is an airline pilot and makes a high income, so if they have kids, it is likely that he will become a house husband. Which he was OK with. He showed me a picture of himself and his wife. He looked deliriously happy and she VI'd LSI. (Hey, the sex and emotional support between LIE and LSI can be very, very good.)

Alarm bells started to go off in my head. I asked him if she's very logical and he said "Yes, how did you know?"
I asked him if she liked to go to the theater, and again he said yes.
Does she like it when you really show her how you feel about her, like when you really express your emotions?
Yes, again.
I said, "I had a GF like that for a while. She and I got along great emotionally, but we had a hard time agreeing on how to work together. Even on short term, daily projects, we clashed, to say nothing about trying to make long range plans."
"Yes! That's exactly how my wife and I are. We can't agree on anything. Not even something simple, like where we're going to eat."

I often couldn't easily agree with the LIE ex bf on where to eat lol, and a few other things, but in many other things we could agree. If you got along with this person great emotionally they were probably a Fi valuer.

Sure airline pilots tend to be Logical types. I think the stereotype for pilots is SLI.

Dude every girl likes it when u open up and show ur emotions lol, also the "girls not knowing where to eat" bullshit is like a running gag in mens lockerroom talk community, but yea

I don't like it done in the Fi way so no, not every girl likes every way of showing feelings.

And Adam didn't post about girls not knowing where to eat.

[Adam Strange]

1. Her thinking isn't typical for LSI at all. It's typical NF thinking about changing the other person's mind about the relationship. It requires 1) confidence in Ethical area/manipulation of feelings 2) future/possibilities oriented Intuition. To me trying to do all this or even just considering to do it just would be *incredibly* stressful.
2. I would never choose someone just because they were able to pay a bill at a nice restaurant.
3. I didn't have *constant* misunderstandings with any LIE. Some but constant? No.




I often couldn't easily agree with the LIE ex bf on where to eat lol, and a few other things, but in many other things we could agree. If you got along with this person great emotionally they were probably a Fi valuer.

Sure airline pilots tend to be Logical types. I think the stereotype for pilots is SLI.


I don't like it done in the Fi way so no, not every girl likes every way of showing feelings.

And Adam didn't post about girls not knowing where to eat.

Hi, @Myst.
I'm pretty sure she is LSI, although she took some tests and she said they came out differently. There were just too many other subtle signs, most of which (like her VI) I can't post here.
I know she really lit up when I showed Fe Role, and one time she was sitting on the couch and she did Fi-Role, and I immediately had this flash of longing and regret because she couldn't do that all the time.
I did appreciate her unbiased rationality, though.

Regarding her reasons in the restaurant for deciding to invite me to her place for a seduction, that was sheer speculation on my part. All I can know for sure is that my statement of "I'm looking, but I'm not looking for you" didn't discourage her, and she was pretty constantly aggressive from a relationship standpoint. Which I liked.
One factor which might explain some differences between her behavior and what you might expect is her age, which is over 40. People's behaviors change in different circumstances.

[Myst]

Hi, @Myst.
I'm pretty sure she is LSI, although she took some tests and she said they came out differently. There were just too many other subtle signs, most of which (like her VI) I can't post here.
I know she really lit up when I showed Fe Role, and one time she was sitting on the couch and she did Fi-Role, and I immediately had this flash of longing and regret because she couldn't do that all the time.
I did appreciate her unbiased rationality, though.

Regarding her reasons in the restaurant for deciding to invite me to her place for a seduction, that was sheer speculation on my part. All I can know for sure is that my statement of "I'm looking, but I'm not looking for you" didn't discourage her, and she was pretty constantly aggressive from a relationship standpoint. Which I liked.
One factor which might explain some differences between her behavior and what you might expect is her age, which is over 40. People's behaviors change in different circumstances.

Oh yeha I realize it was just your guess about what she may have been thinking, so I just wanted to point it out that it isn't LSI thinking. I wouldn't want to guess what her exact reasoning was instead though lol. Interesting what you say about your reaction to the Fi role, thanks. Were you exaggerating the constant misunderstandings?

[Adam Strange]

Oh yeha I realize it was just your guess about what she may have been thinking, so I just wanted to point it out that it isn't LSI thinking. I wouldn't want to guess what her exact reasoning was instead though lol. Interesting what you say about your reaction to the Fi role, thanks. Were you exaggerating the constant misunderstandings?

I actually think she and I understood each other fairly well. She may have understood me more than I did her, though. I think she made a study of me, while I just went along for the ride and tried to make her happy.

I'm not sure what I meant by constant misunderstandings. We had different approaches to problems, which I guess could be interpreted as different understandings of the situation.

Mostly what bothered me about her was her drama, which I interpret as her need for Fe when I wasn't supplying enough of it. Sometimes she would do things which just shocked me. Needlessly reckless things. I'll PM you about that.