Differences between ISFj-ESI and ISFp-SEI

[Joy]

SEI's are softer and more outwardly friendly/jovial.

[Khola aka Bee]

Ask Kam

[Mediator Kam]

She is right. I am ISFp, and my mother is ISFj.

I enjoy making and hearing a lot of jokes. My mother never has made a joke and she laughs about normal everyday happenings, while I laugh at things that are more far-out and unreal. That is the Ne PoLR in action. Random(me) vs. Static/Normal(her) I am more smiley and jovial than her. I rarely yell about anything, but if I do, I scream and just get furious. My mother enjoys to raise her voice if she is challenged in any way.

She hates to discuss sex, homosexuality, or anything like that because discussing such topics out loud is just "bad". I see no problem with it, because sex and homosexuality are real topics. Very very very moralistic woman, she isn't afraid to voice her opinion on issues of morality. I have seen a lot of Fi PoLR from ILE's and I know my mother would lay the smackdown on them if she heard them. I'm more accepting of people overall also. I will make friends with everyone, my mother chooses her friends very very cautiously.

Anything else, I'm here. I know my mom very well.

[EllaC]

Thanks guys! You have all painted a better picture / "feel" for the differences, it has helped, and I think I understand who is what now - explains a few things! Thank you all muchly

[Elro]

Kamangir is right. ISFjs are all dead serious. We only laugh about dishes and laundry and driving to the dentist. Nothing else is fit for even a smile. We would never tell our kids that we had just traveled through a wormhole and were on the opposite side of the country when they ask us how much longer to our destination. We would never make up silly songs or dances, or do handstands in our living rooms, or allow our kids to ride bicycles inside the house on a rainy day. We yell about everything, and never joke around. We especially do not make up elaborate metaphors with our friends. We shun everyone who is not up to the proper standards. Serious and stoic, thy name is ISFj.

Just in case anyone missed this, I think Diana made this post during opposite day.

[Beautiful sky]

She is right. I am ISFp, and my mother is ISFj.

I enjoy making and hearing a lot of jokes. My mother never has made a joke and she laughs about normal everyday happenings, while I laugh at things that are more far-out and unreal. That is the Ne PoLR in action. Random(me) vs. Static/Normal(her) I am more smiley and jovial than her. I rarely yell about anything, but if I do, I scream and just get furious. My mother enjoys to raise her voice if she is challenged in any way.

She hates to discuss sex, homosexuality, or anything like that because discussing such topics out loud is just "bad". I see no problem with it, because sex and homosexuality are real topics. Very very very moralistic woman, she isn't afraid to voice her opinion on issues of morality. I have seen a lot of Fi PoLR from ILE's and I know my mother would lay the smackdown on them if she heard them. I'm more accepting of people overall also. I will make friends with everyone, my mother chooses her friends very very cautiously.

Anything else, I'm here. I know my mom very well.

It is an Fi thing to be choosy about people. It has nothing to do with acceptance of others it's about depth

At large these are good observations, but I don't agree that SEIs tend to be always thinking about other people's comfort. They are not, they are much more focused on their own comfort, but they'll allow others to hop on the bandwagon and they can even be pleased if someone expresses appreciation for this comfort. Thinking about other people's comfort is more of an ESE thing. (also, when other people benefit from their Si, SEIs will feel appreciated for who they are, ESEs will feel appreciated for what they do)

The thing about ESIs making themselves very hard to approach is very true. It can be even worse: when they are approached, they might react in such a way that it results into rejection of the attempt. My gut feeling is that ESIs apply high standards (even those that have nothing to offer themselves), and you really need to persist in the effort to get anywhere.

This being selfish and self involved is what I mean by less compassionate

I see all IJs as exacting, in their own way... XSIs are more obvious with it, whereas XIIs will just watch you do things the "wrong" way, then redo it in their preferred way after you go away...

Yes I can be exacting over some things. When someone tells me that they want a relationship with me but hints at just having sex with me there's no consistency and it's a lie so I will get upset and want to know what exactly do they want. I want moral and emotional consistency and for that I will be exacting in that I will ask which does he want. I may seem strict about my wants and needs but only because I know which line I walk on and want to walk on forever. I won't respond until an inconsistency arises (when somethings are said and indicated that go against my values). In that case I only want clarify things "tell me what it is that you want so that I may decide if the relationship is worth it or move on" I want things set in the beginning and not ambiguous and this allows me to seek and have stability which is essencial for my emotional wellbeing. So yes I demand an answer and my demand of a yes/no decide what you want may seem exacting.

[consentingadult]

This being selfish and self involved is what I mean by less compassionate

You are quite selective in taking aspects from both types and then coming to a conclusion. My rebuttal:

http://mavericksocionics.blogspot.nl...ld-digger.html

[Mediator Kam]

Under no exaggeration, Diana's description of ESI is so much like my mom that I never noticed she was mocking me.

It is a very good profile of a middle aged ESI, one with 3 kids, all born after 35.

[Ezra]

LIEs and ILEs

Right...

I think Joy has the right idea; she simply hasn't explained it clearly enough.

Essentially, what people have completely missed is the fact that ESIs and SEIs are in opposing quadras. ESIs value the exact opposite of what SEIs value. They are as good as each other at the same things (Se, Si, Fe and Fi); they merely value completely different things.

Some people like this style of explanation. Others prefer it if you "just give me the differences in real-life terms - no theoretical crap". If you like the former, ask me (or Joy or Expat or anyone else who follows this style of reasoning) more about the differences and I'd/we'd be glad to tell you. If you like the latter, just carry on what you're doing; you'll get plenty of responses.

[force my hand]

The main difference between ISFps and ISFjs is that the former jump out at me whereas I never seem to notice the latter.

Oh, you wanted something objective? Whoops, sorry!

[JRiddy]

Pam (SEI) vs. Angela (ESI) from The Office (US Version)

But most ESIs are no where near as rigid and mean as Angela is, so don't get the wrong idea. This show, in my estimation, really contrasts the Alpha Values (Michael, Jim, Pam) with Gamma Values (Dwight, Angela, Jan)