INTp-ESFp duality discussion and examples (ILI-SEE)

[FlameReborn]

I read in another thread somewhere that duals express each other's "hidden side" openly. As in, what one is on the inside, the other is on the outside.

In order to get a firmer grip on the ILI and SEE concepts, I'd like to approach things from this angle.

I have a good idea, but I want input...

So... how are SEE and ILI expressions of each other?

[liveandletlive]

I read in another thread somewhere that duals express each other's "hidden side" openly. As in, what one is on the inside, the other is on the outside.

In order to get a firmer grip on the ILI and SEE concepts, I'd like to approach things from this angle.

I have a good idea, but I want input...

So... how are SEE and ILI expressions of each other?

i can definitely relate to this. i would say that my inner ILI is expressed in how i'll have many aquaintances but very few friends. it's almost as if people need to prove that they are worth my resources and emotional investment before i can have a deeper relationship them. it is also expressed in how i love learning about things and evaluating things even though most people would not know this side of me unless they were one of the chosen few to get beyond the SEE facade. also, our somewhat erratic and over the top behavior in social interactions is in defiance of the that the ILI also refuses to abide by in social interactions. i also have deep spiritual beliefs and other weird intuitive beliefs that intrigue me and i constantly use to confirm or disprove these beliefs by comparing and evaluating them to experiences.

i would say that an ILI's inner SEE is expressed in craving experience and relationships, but not knowing how to approach this (where i come in haha) with their disregard for .

[implied]

hah, i love your posts.

[crazedrat]

The problem with this relationship, is SEE ignores ILI. I have had it happen to me about 4 times now. I say something to them, ...they do not respond. Liveandletlive, can you explain this?

[Jarno]

The problem with this relationship, is SEE ignores ILI. I have had it happen to me about 4 times now. I say something to them, ...they do not respond. Liveandletlive, can you explain this?

I'm just speculating, but this is also my own experience sometimes...

since you know socionics, your approach to SEE may be unnatural. Like, what you say is, you took the initiative to talk to them. to much initiative could be seen as wrong motives / uptight. Both things they hate.

When you are more natural, you would just daydream on, without paying to much attention to them. And that's when they suddenly become interested in you!

as I said, just speculating, but it might be true.

[crazedrat]

yes, I also think that was happening. Usually they are so cemented into their social circles they don't have any need to stray from them. Then, you cannot approach them.. because you ruin the duality if you do that. They will not approach you because they are too busy with their friends. Putting it into their hands means letting them be stupid and pass the opportunity by. I think I may have to learn some kind of brain washing technique to land a SEE

[liveandletlive]

yes, I also think that was happening. Usually they are so cemented into their social circles they don't have any need to stray from them. Then, you cannot approach them.. because you ruin the duality if you do that. They will not approach you because they are too busy with their friends. Putting it into their hands means letting them be stupid and pass the opportunity by. I think I may have to learn some kind of brain washing technique to land a SEE

awwwww noooo! we just need to be the ones to hunt u down haha so don't worry when the time is right, im sure a SEE will find u and make you their own

regarding what u said before, i've never ignored an ILI, in fact i never ignore anyone haha. the only time i guess u can say that i've ignored an ILI is when they give me advice or a warning of what is to come and i am too wrapped up in it all to take it. but other than that it's hard for me to relate to that.

[crazedrat]

I am thinking the best way for ILI to land SEE is to get to know all of their friends in front of them but ignore the SEE. But even then, the SEE may perceive the ILI as being unnatural.. really, it would be unnatural for me to talk at all to any of the idiots SEE hangs around. Maybe just stand in the background and ask for further clarification of things the other people say. But even then, you're like the weirdo standing there listening to other people talk. The other option is to go sit alone and watch what is happening. I do that usually, but SEE is too ..SEE... to come over. If they do come over and talk, the talk is fun but brief, and SEE goes off and finds something else going on. So we got along for thirty seconds, and that was that. Brainwashing technique shows more promise.. Like the venusian arts, or mystery method, or something like that

[liveandletlive]

I am thinking the best way for ILI to land SEE is to get to know all of their friends in front of them but ignore the SEE. But even then, the SEE may perceive the ILI as being unnatural.. really, it would be unnatural for me to talk at all to any of the idiots SEE hangs around. Maybe just stand in the background and ask for further clarification of things the other people say. But even then, you're like the weirdo standing there listening to other people talk. The other option is to go sit alone and watch what is happening. I do that usually, but SEE is too ..SEE... to come over. If they do come over and talk, the talk is fun but brief, and SEE goes off and finds something else going on. So we got along for thirty seconds, and that was that. Brainwashing technique shows more promise.. Like the venusian arts, or mystery method, or something like that

haha yeah i wud say that talking to everyone except us wud hurt our feelings and depending on the strength of the of the SEE we may just write u off as a rude asshole and that's that. i wud say just act the way u normally do- like when u said the SEE came over to u. however, when the SEE comes over to u try to intrigue us with ur ILIness. I'm sure u no more about this than I do haha. btw, the whole brainwashing thing wud probably work if the SEE didn't catch on to what u were doing first, which is highly unlikely haha.

[misutii]

... really, it would be unnatural for me to talk at all to any of the idiots SEE hangs around.

LOL!!! I feel the same way about SLEs and their 'social circles'