So would you say that it is better if IEIs spend not a lot of time together and have as much input from other types as possible?Originally Posted by octopuslove
So would you say that it is better if IEIs spend not a lot of time together and have as much input from other types as possible?
IEI, sp/sx 4w3.
LMAO. I loved this post so much, seriously made me laugh so hard, thanksYES.
Things I like about identical relationships
* I don't have to explain my crazy trains of thought, finally!
* You can have private jokes within a month of meeting each other. And they're usually pretty rude.
* If you have a problem, and you need them to help you, you don't have to speak in full sentences and they'll get the drift.
"Hungry... ATM $50 note... " *lots of hand-waving*
"Dig around under the drink machine, you'll probably find some change there."
Problem solved!
* Actually, you usually don't even have to speak. Eye contact is enough. This is useful in large group situations when someone's being irritating.
* I can trust them to do things that I can't trust anyone else to do properly.
* All their ideas are good!
* You can never stay angry at them for very long, especially after they've explained themselves.
* You find the exact same things funny. And not just like, "Oh, we both found that episode of Flight of the Conchords funny." It's, "We both found the tone of his voice when he said the last syllable of the word "frangipani", combined with that cactus in the background no one noticed at 5:14, HILARIOUS."
* They know precisely what I'm thinking, and what I mean by anything I say or do.
Things I don't like about identical relationships
* I sometimes feel like I'm competing for the spotlight.
* If they're in trouble, I feel compelled to help, even if it's detrimental to me.
* They know precisely what I'm thinking, and what I mean by anything I say or do.. Have you ever been in a relationship with another IEI? Aren't you crushing on one right now :wink
IEI, sp/sx 4w3.
IEI, sp/sx 4w3.
[QUOTE=octopuslove;514735]I would say - spend a lot of time together, but also spend a lot of time with other people, both together and apart:
* When you're together, alone, you can talk freely
* When you're together, in a large group, you can go out and do things (clubbing, bushwalking, whatever) and have inside jokes
* When you're apart, you have new experiences, and then you have something to talk about when you're together alone
I find that when I spend a lot of time alone with an identical I feel a bit frustrated and stagnant. By a lot of time, I mean 2 or 3 hours alone together, with a lot of time together with other people in between, every day for about a year. That's just too much time.[/QUOTE]
Thanks. Too much time together?
IEI, sp/sx 4w3.
Would you say an hour a day, everyday for a year is too much timeYeah. I just end up bickering with them.
Oh, and:
I'm so flattered
IEI, sp/sx 4w3.
Lol. Hmm that sounds logicalIf the whole time is spent talking about yourself, and you don't get out much, yeah!
IEI, sp/sx 4w3.
Heh... I am so close to an IEI-Fe that I think I can comment. I still think I am, probably will change this back to IEI right after I'm done this post, lol.
Umm - it's fantastic. But have you just started an IEI-IEI relationship or something, dinki? It's exhilarating at first, seriously. I think my IEI spent 80% of last summer together when we first started dating and when I say 80%... I mean it. I mean like, entire DAYS, back to back in a row... 3, 4 days. Anytime he wasn't working, we would be together. Anytime he was, I would just hang out with other people, of course. We'd be alone a lot, and no, it didn't get boring. Okay, maybe a bit, but thats why you have to be careful not to hole yourself up with that one person and get out, be with others. You also have to make sure to bring the, at least one of you, in order to make plans happen. Usually that's me, and it does get frustrating cause I wish he would plan stuff sometimes too, but hey.. deal with it.
I'm pretty much way more pro-active, so it works out... he's more logical and takes care of many other things. In an identical relationship, this usually happens, where one IEI or both take on differing roles of the Dual, certain functions, so the relationship becomes more fulfilling. It's frustrating though, because if you have to do something all the time that doesn't come naturally... well, yeah.
Anyway, it's been nearly a year, we're still together and it's great. Key notes: make sure to spice things up with new ideas, new activities! Do not fall into the trap of being so comfortable alone with eachother that you shut the world out (this is what happened to us this school year)... =[ This caused a LOT of problems... for ME. I'm more social. He's not, so yeah... many arguments arose over this sociability question. Nothing was truly resolved, it's like we forget/forgive easily (just like a poster said!) and then ... if it comes up again, well... ?
The summer really solves things though. Fuck school. This has become more of a rant than an advice post... heh
GOSH.
I am falling so fast and so hard for this kid.
IEI, sp/sx 4w3.
How to shake up identical INFp + INFp relations
So as it doesn't get boring. Be agressive? Be bitching? What's a girl gotta do :wink
IEI, sp/sx 4w3.
You could have an 'opposite day' where you act totally out of charachter and act and say things that are the total opposite of what you would normally do. A bit like Bizarro world if you ever watched Sienfeld...
The Bizarro Jerry - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
You could take it to the extreme.... different clothes...different hair... no boundaries!
Haha thanks =], fun idea! I'm so doing it, that, and I am going to attempt to supply some artificial Se =]
IEI, sp/sx 4w3.
cheatSo as it doesn't get boring. Be agressive? Be bitching? What's a girl gotta do :wink
No no no no. I think aggressive/bitchy behavior turns anybody off. (of course a lot of it is perception a lot of people come across as 'rough' when they really aren't)
Just umm one of you probably has to show more oomph into the assertive department. But a little bit can go along way really.
Lol, ok thanks
IEI, sp/sx 4w3.
Two IEIs dating?
How do you guys think that would play out? I'm curious because I think my ex might have been an IEI, initially I thought she was an IEE but the more that I think about it and that might actually explain a lot.
No personal experience but here are some articles on this.
http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...Stratiyevskaya
http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...ical-Relations
i think it's a bad idea. p.s. what are you doing still up?
i was referring to ryoka. i think he's west coast time zone.Me, Merc? I just woke up. See how easy it is for me to fix my sleep schedule?
nah i checked, and you came on at 7:50 am, so i thought that was cool. </stalk>
It happens. It's fun as long as someone assumes the role of actively participating in life.
Someone needs to force Se; even if its weak it'll be a huge weight off the shoulders.
Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.
They say like energies repel each other, but frotting can be hot too.
I don't think being the same/ very similar does much for the chemistry and steering of the relationship. But in case you want a really good friend who will always understand where you're coming from and a soulmate in the closest definition of the world, then I think dating an identical would be perfect for that.
It seems like such a relationship would require a constant conscious rekindling of the flame (of passion).
It is easy for two IEI to get caught up in a private fantasy world, that is almost incomprehensible to those witnessing it, and neglect day to day responsibilities. It would take some effort to live in the real world but it can work. I have been in these kinds of relationships when I was younger and they didn't work because of maturity levels at that point. Like we both quit our jobs and decided to live on love.
Letting the bills pile up and procrastinating can become an issue, even when the money is there, since the intimacy first generated can consume you in the relationship (this might be an sx first thing too) but I noticed the same in relationship with SLE, in the beginning. In ILI relationships they always made things happen and made sure things were done and pushed for equal give and take which was also a bit overwhelming. IEI is more go with the flow and whatever happens, happens, in my experience. SLE is probably the easiest to talk to but can be the hardest to settle into due to initial control issues.
Heh, I just started typing and couldn't stop until I sorted it out. I think I "get it", again.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
I find this to be true in all my relationships, regardless of their types, especially the ones worth keeping. My mind can wander but my spirit keeps things in check.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
Do you mean this is the case because you are IEI, or because every relationship, regardless of types, needs that…?I find this to be true in all my relationships, regardless of their types, especially the ones worth keeping. My mind can wander but my spirit keeps things in check.
If it's the later – I would think that in identity relations the rekindling of the flame needs to be done more often/more extensively than in (many) other relations.
It might be a me thing. I just need to reaffirm the passion is still there or I can drift off into other worlds where it is way more passionate than what I am doing in reality. I have to remember to use my imagination in real life too and bring out the magic I keep inside me.
Edit: More than one ex told me that it was my magical quality (expressed in different words by some but the idea was the same) that attracted them more than anything else.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
Wow, I just read Stratiyevskaya's description of the Identical Relation INFp-INFp and it is eery how accurate it is!
I've been attracting soft men looking for assistance and help a lot online in the recent years, until I've gotten fed up with it and decided to look specifically for someone of the opposite nature (in real life).
In her words:
I've even written down some "Must Haves in a Partner" a couple of months ago, one of the points being "Drive, Passion, Determination". Haha.Noticing that her relationships with her "new friends" develop along the same scenario, the girl grew seriously worried: "Yes, I am a sincere and sympathetic person, but this isn't to be taken advantage of – I am not always strong and need support, too. I don't see myself coddling a weak-willed man for the rest of my life." Determining in this way which qualities she actually prefers, she changed the text of her ad, and instead of advertising her softness and pliability she began searching for a strong, confident, and purposeful partner. That is, through communication with her identicals and similar types, she independently came to realize the necessity of dual complementarity and that what she really needed was a complementary opposite.
All right! A Dating Requirements List!
I read a book by an IEI author, Harley Jane Kozak, titled "Dating Dead Men" (I could not resist the title, and was rewarded with an entertaining read) in which the IEI protagonist is looking for a guy, and she has a list of requirements. Her requirements for a man are that he have:
1. A good name.
2. Not a convicted felon.
3. No STD's
4. Has car
5. Has job
6. Not Homeless
7. 5'9" or above
8. Good shoes
9. No pets
10. No smoking
11. No guns
12. Well hung
The book is a comedy-mystery-romance, so guess which of those requirements go out the window when she actually meets her guy?
In all fairness, a list like hers is bound to be discarded. Your list, on the other hand, is likely to stick.
What makes my list so much better?
You have not seen all of it, haha.
lmao
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Dual type(as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
An IEI couple that I know are engaged and living together. They share OCD-like interests in fitness and looking-good, and also share very unrealistic goals. They seem to read each others mind but I wonder if they truly know one another; she's so into herself and he's alright with that because he's so into himself. Complacency is so prevalent. There seems to be no catalyst to get them out of their very narrow world; they'd rather cook in the dark than change a lightbulb. They have such grandiose aspirations but don't seem to venture beyond their very limited horizon.
a.k.a. I/O
I feel like such a dick for wanting to know about these dickholes, lol.
yes, identical is good.. only a healthy dual is better
What are male IEIs even like? In real life. I've probably met them and not even known because they were too boring and always frowning and stuff. Which is how I am but I've probably passed over IEI males just because they aren't as noticeable to me as gregarious, grinning, extroverted guys. (Yes I know that introverts can be gregarious too but generally there is less range and more introspective quality)
could always cook by candlelight
Most people are terrible in general. Never say never.
IEI guys are super punchable, agreed. Anything sensitive combined with introverted in a guy is.
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