LIIs/INTjs social skills, meeting new people, shyness and leadership

[joseph2505]

I was wondering is there any suggestions / tips to increase the Emotional Intelligence specific to INTJ .

[machintruc]

I was wondering is there any suggestions / tips to increase the Emotional Intelligence specific to INTJ .

make him motivated to develop his Ethics (black and white)... but INTj's are nearly impossible to motivate lol

more seriously, INTj's are not really EI-based ; they are basically not interested by that. If one want a INTj to be freindly, he must deserve it (i.e. by respecting him).

[rpbailey]

Are you attempting to develop your own emotional intelligence, or are you attempting to convince others that you are a warm, caring, emotional being?

To develop your own, get the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie and check out those other 'self-help/improvement' books at a bookstore or library.

Or, if you are a sociopath and want to convince everyone otherwise, just pay careful attention to how other people react to environmental stimuli and emulate it. "A puppy was run over? Everyone looks sad. So, next time, I shall look sad!"


Seriously, get the books and spend time with emotional people, and you'll get the hang of it. Emotional intelligence isn't really benchmarked or anything, so there's no real way to know when you've achieved your goal, so good luck with it.

[machintruc]

Are you attempting to develop your own emotional intelligence, or are you attempting to convince others that you are a warm, caring, emotional being?

I'm already a warm and caring being, but only when I want. An INTj can be very empathetic, you know ?

To develop your own, get the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie and check out those other 'self-help/improvement' books at a bookstore or library.
Or, if you are a sociopath and want to convince everyone otherwise, just pay careful attention to how other people react to environmental stimuli and emulate it. "A puppy was run over? Everyone looks sad. So, next time, I shall look sad!"

I don't like self-development. Self-development is really based on social adaptation, and stipulates that, to be successful, you must be over-compliant and pay attention to minor things like eye movement. do you know NLP ?

Seriously, get the books and spend time with emotional people, and you'll get the hang of it. Emotional intelligence isn't really benchmarked or anything, so there's no real way to know when you've achieved your goal, so good luck with it.

I like emotional people, they don't like me because they think I'm heartless lol. you know I-types don't really like to waste time...

[rpbailey]

I'm already a warm and caring being, but only when I want. An INTj can be very empathetic, you know ?

Well, I was actually kind of serious when I said emulate other people. I know that's what I do -- most of the time, I don't give a crap about what people are talking about, but I know how to look concerned and how to soften my voice, look them in the eye and say "No matter what, I'll always be here for you." and all that crap. So, kudos for having a heart.

I don't like self-development. Self-development is really based on social adaptation, and stipulates that, to be successful, you must be over-compliant and pay attention to minor things like eye movement. do you know NLP ?

Neuro-linguistic programming, God-damn-you Tony Robbins and your hideous teeth.
Yeah, I know of NLP. I actually enjoy reading about stuff like body language and what-not, I view it as yet another tool that I have at my disposal. And I tend to naturally pay attention to everything (fairly strong eidetic memory) so it doesn't inconvenience me any.

I like emotional people, they don't like me because they think I'm heartless lol. you know I-types don't really like to waste time...

The trick here is to pair yourself up with someone who is warm and friendly, and work as a team. For example, my buddy Victor and I work great as a team. I feed him information and otherwise take in the environment, he acts upon the environment, charms the world and does what needs to be done.

[UDP]

http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ_per.html

[machintruc]

I took an online EI test a couple days ago. It said I was below-average. I think that was partly because I'm not outgoing, extroverted, all that fun stuff. I say, don't sweat it, just remember to be polite.

in individuals, EQ has basically an inverted correlation with IQ. EQ is related to right-brain elements (S and F elements) and IQ is related to left-brain elements (N and T elements) ; normally if you have an IQ of the 65th percentile, you would have an EQ of the 35th percentile (65 + 35 = 100) percentiles should add to something between 80 and 120. introversion is often confused with logic. strong logic = weak ethics, basically you can't have one's cake and eat it...

[Kirana]

To develop your own, get the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie and check out those other 'self-help/improvement' books at a bookstore or library.

Or, if you are a sociopath and want to convince everyone otherwise, just pay careful attention to how other people react to environmental stimuli and emulate it. "A puppy was run over? Everyone looks sad. So, next time, I shall look sad!"


Seriously, get the books and spend time with emotional people, and you'll get the hang of it. Emotional intelligence isn't really benchmarked or anything, so there's no real way to know when you've achieved your goal, so good luck with it.

i attempt to do it by trying all three, although the first one is my least favourite. second one is my interim shortcut measure, but since it consists of memorising appropriate responses to different social situations, not ideal to me, unless i manage to work out some kind of rule of thumb after collecting enough appropriate-response examples. having a same gender dual best friend helps with the third - no romantic conflict, and if your particular ESFj is as intelligent in EI as INTjs usually are in IQ, he or she makes an excellent example to be around to learn from. third option was most useful for me, and to be credited the most in raising me from cluelessness to some kind of emotional literacy of other people.

[UDP]

I was wondering is there any suggestions / tips to increase the Emotional Intelligence specific to INTJ .

There are numerous texts on this issue. I always found Covey's works useful, especially concepts like "The emotional bank account", and so on (check out "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). Self-improvement literature & LIIs generally get along well.