Originally Posted by
FDG
Originally Posted by
astralsilky
OK, sounds good so far.
But then how do you distinguish between duality versus identity relations in conversation?
Rarely duals agree with each other completely. There's always a degree of correction, which is not present in identical relations - you will often see identical positivist compliment each other, and identical negativists criticize each other, whereas in duals the pos will compliment the neg, and the neg will not criticize the pos because otherwise he/she'd feel guilty.
You see two ENTjs or ESFjs talking toghether - they say to each other "oh you are awesome and i think you will do even better" - two INTjs or ISFjs - putting themselves down (and the other doesn't even know what the hell to say to make the other feel better). In this sense sometimes a positivist EJ might even feel like identity is better than duality for short interactions (you only reiceve compliments).
OK, this helps. But IME, it highlights an apparent peculiarity.
Has anyone here ever experienced the typical "duality" dynamics with their
identical, over a long period of time?
For example,
* feeling incredibly energized by him/her, more than most - you unexplainably get hyper and lively just by his/her presence ... free-flowing joy
* upon initial meeting, either think they're too good for you OR incredibly dull (depending if you are I/E; even tho` you're the SAME type!)
* soon feel this draw after a few repeated interactions to really spend more time with the other person, but you have NO idea why ~ it feels "unconscious" (for lack of a better term)
* eventually switch so you either think they're dull now, else too good for you (switch I/E perception)
* truly feeling like you love him/her for EVerything that they are
* look inside their eyes and believe you are seeing a rare "soulmate" (cliche, but best descriptor for the uncanniness of it and sense of deep inner ghostly who-knows-what)
* YET ... ALWAYS quickly agree in conversation and do not correct each other per se (rather, as FDG says, e.g. mutually criticize if identical negativists). Each brings more helpful input "of the same kind" to the table to help each other achieve the same goals (and there is a feeling of mutual elation).