my mom and i live in different cities and just talk over to each other over the phone. when we don't meet each other, i find my mom quite a nice person, not untolerable and actually feel bad for the way i treat her whenever we get together. but of course, such feelings vanish the second i actually meet her. things she says and does never make sense.

i think prolonged interaction will allow you to tell whether the person you're dealing with is a conflictor or not. with a conflictor, you have this sense of hopelessness in any serious communication. and if you want to really do something together, it's really either your way or hir way completely. at least my own experience is, there is just no way you can make your conflictor see things the way i want hir to and this is just so so frustrating you give up in the end and let your conflictor get whatever hir wants.