that's the problem. It seemed like every time I wanted to talk seriously about the issues she would shut up and avoid it. I got so many mixed signals and just bottled them up, eventually I just let it out in the meanest way possible.

When someone doesn't give you a clear answer, leads you on and makes you think you have a special part in their life, i guess its enough to provoke an emtionally unstable person such as myself into saying regrettable things.

I seriously have been contemplating saying sorry, but I think she owes me a more proper and descriptive explanation of her feelings, or at least a kinder one. she never gave me that. she never was able to talk about things and it really is what drew the situation out and caused so much tension(from my perspective) I guess I should have walked out early, but I didn't. I still consider her important to me, but I can't undue what I said and since she can't express her feelings to me I am surely not going to say sorry only to have her hang up the phone and laugh at me.

maybe I really am THAT bad at kissing. my guess is its just a chemistry thing, i mean, seriously, she wasn't good either. still gets to me though.