INFps: can you see yourselves with an ESTp longterm?

[rat1]

My experience with long term relationships = watching my parents. They have a ton of commitment, and about nothing else. WHy do they even hold on? They probably think it's for the kids or their financial security, truth is it interferes more than it helps.

[redbaron]

My experience with long term relationships = watching my parents. They have a ton of commitment, and about nothing else. WHy do they even hold on? They probably think it's for the kids or their financial security, truth is it interferes more than it helps.

this is what I don't want to model for my children.

[squark]

My experience with long term relationships = watching my parents. They have a ton of commitment, and about nothing else. WHy do they even hold on? They probably think it's for the kids or their financial security, truth is it interferes more than it helps.

this is what I don't want to model for my children.

Doesn't have to be that way. My parents have an awesome relationship, and they're not even duals or any of that garbage. But they definitely belong together and are far happier together than either would be apart.

What I think happens too much is that people just sort of fall together without any real thought, more a matter of circumstance than anything else, and then later discover that they never should have gotten together at all. Or, people try to force a relationship because it seems like it should work. But, it doesn't. I think the anecdote to all that is to find someone who really fits you, and to take your time figuring out who that might be.

I know this thread is for IEIs and SLEs, but you know, get too focused on type and you'll miss who the person really is. So, does it matter if an IEI can see themselves with AN SLE longterm, if they find the SLE (or other type) that they can see that with? I don't think it matters. And I don't think you have to know that immediately. You probably won't. There's nothing wrong with taking your time. But, of course, if you're already SURE that it won't work, no sense dragging it out either.

. . . . .Oh wait, socionics forum, I almost forgot. blah blah duality is awesoem, it conquers all! Wait for your dual and all your dreams will come true. YAY . . .

[squark]

The problem at hand I think, is that one could never be sure that one choice is better than the other. The more you know and understand the tendencies and attitudes of a person, the more you would be able to guess how they would act in the future, despite the passion of the moment. And sadly as is often the case, the IEI's prediction would come true despite how much they wish it wouldn't come true. It's just so terribly sad.

(Might not be relevant) That said. If I could have experienced it all over again, I might have liked to press on instead of letting go despite "knowing" how it would end up. It may or may not be the best choice for everybody, but we have to be selfish with our own lives and try our best to make it go where we want it to go. At least I would have been able to say that I have tried and experienced, and that I had no regrets walking the path I had even if I failed. Still, this might have been for the best.

IEI's are the ones writing the script to their own romance novel. The SLEs have no choice but to follow. They can't help it because it's you cleverly navigating their heartstrings. And they need that. They depend on you to make them feel "alive". You never know that in the end, you may actually succeed in having them play the exact role you wanted them to play all along...

Don't know if this is too much fantasy.

A little fantasy makes life that much more interesting.

If I catch what you're saying right, I like your take on things, and agree. It's like saying, even though you know the car is going to crash in the end, the ride might be worth it, and you never know if you could steer it away from that wall after all, even if right now the crash seems inevitable. Why not take the risk?

I think a lot of people on this forum (and in the world at large) are lonely and didn't see a way out until they learned about duality, and now they cling to it as if it'll solve everything immediately. I mean, it'll probably help, but if you think it's going to be effortless, you're in for a shock.

Yeah, definitely.

[silke]

If I catch what you're saying right, I like your take on things, and agree. It's like saying, even though you know the car is going to crash in the end, the ride might be worth it, and you never know if you could steer it away from that wall after all, even if right now the crash seems inevitable. Why not take the risk?

I wouldn't even compare it to a car crash. People die in car crashes. It evokes a kind of pain-filled disturbing image. When a relationship ends it's not a catastrophe and life will go on. You can't predict every downfall and every mistake and it is silly to withhold yourself from life and let it just pass you by. I know IEIs are prone to doing this but sometimes it makes me wonder about all the experiences that are lost as a result.

[squark]

If I catch what you're saying right, I like your take on things, and agree. It's like saying, even though you know the car is going to crash in the end, the ride might be worth it, and you never know if you could steer it away from that wall after all, even if right now the crash seems inevitable. Why not take the risk?

I wouldn't even compare it to a car crash. People die in car crashes. It evokes a kind of pain-filled disturbing image. When a relationship ends it's not a catastrophe and life will go on. You can't predict every downfall and every mistake and it is silly to withhold yourself from life and let it just pass you by. I know IEIs are prone to doing this but sometimes it makes me wonder about all the experiences that are lost as a result.

True.

[redbaron]

I wouldn't even compare it to a car crash. People die in car crashes. It evokes a kind of pain-filled disturbing image. When a relationship ends it's not a catastrophe and life will go on. You can't predict every downfall and every mistake and it is silly to withhold yourself from life and let it just pass you by. I know IEIs are prone to doing this but sometimes it makes me wonder about all the experiences that are lost as a result.

agreed.