INFps: can you see yourselves with an ESTp longterm?

[silke]

30s is the decade when they get serious, 40s is when that playa attitude returns back

[redbaron]

30s is the decade when they get serious, 40s is when that playa attitude returns back

no.

[silke]

30s is the decade when they get serious, 40s is when that playa attitude returns back

no.

then it's must have been the 2 older SLEs that I've met, they are not immune to having mid-life crises

[redbaron]

no.

then it's must have been the 2 older SLEs that I've met, they are not immune to having mid-life crises

certainly they're not immune to it! but they're not more likely than other types. In fact, I know a couple of 40+ ones who were actually cheated on by their wives, not vice versa. And now that they're divorced, they're pretty picky about who they date and not whorish in the least. Maybe promiscuity isn't type related.

[MisterNi]

My SLE has whorish tendencies... he kissed me with in two minuets of me meeting him. He wanted to sleep with me on our first date, which is a big no for me. He was a self proclaimed player & he had been seeing a lot of girls before he met me... I later found out he was married.Typical Colombian man. He says he's picky though. If he doesn't like the way a girl acts or kisses him then he'll move on fast. Apparently we had heavy chemistry.

This bothers me about him. It's one of the reasons why I can never see myself being committed to him for an extensive period of time. I've been very honest in telling him this. It's a pretty solid red flag. In the beginning I just wanted to have fun but then it started getting really deep & serious. I don't think either of us intended to fall in love. Once he developed strong feelings for me it became apparent that he wanted me & only me. He got a divorce in order to keep me. From the beginning he was the one who made it official while I was still iffy.

I still feel kind of horrible about the whole thing. He treats me like gold, but I still think about ending it everyday. History always repeats itself, and I'd rather get out now before I get burned. It's so hard, though. Every time I try to ask for a break he get's incredibly hurt & emotional. That kind of stuff kills me.

I'm sorry to hear that, that's a terrible situation for the both of you. Whatever you end up doing, do not cut him out of your life. If you end up breaking up with him be responsible about it and break it off firmly. Don't leave any ambiguity which would probably be worse for him than the actual breakup. Whatever happens, good luck!

[MisterNi]

Eh, it happens. That's life, right? But I think you really should be asking yourself if you want to stay in the relationship if you really think it has no long-term potential. So it seems like you have some tough decisions to make about your own personal life, especially given how much your bf has gone through to end up with you.

And yes, being a bit more simple like an SEI or ESE would certainly unburden you quite a bit for relationship problems.

[rat1]

Man people care too much about the long term potential for relationships. You know what a long term commitment is? It's a prison sentence.

[MisterNi]

Eh, it happens. That's life, right? But I think you really should be asking yourself if you want to stay in the relationship if you really think it has no long-term potential. So it seems like you have some tough decisions to make about your own personal life, especially given how much your bf has gone through to end up with you.

And yes, being a bit more simple like an SEI or ESE would certainly unburden you quite a bit for relationship problems.

This is why it's so hard. I feel incredibly selfish.

Yes, it doesn't sound easy but you're an individual and shouldn't have to stay in a dying relationship just for the sake of making it work. Again, you have some serious pondering to do, missy.

[rat1]

My SLE has whorish tendencies... he kissed me with in two minuets of me meeting him. He wanted to sleep with me on our first date, which is a no big for me.

Ah I see

[rat1]

And take xanax and jello shots