INFps: can you see yourselves with an ESTp longterm?

[Blaze]

i think that if the relationship is good there is no friction after 2-3 months. the one in which i am right now started in april and all the friction was at the start. it can't always be like that if both parties are:
- in love
- willing to stay committed

could be. but i have found that it is a stage that you go through where you question what you want and ascertain who the other person is, and if you can successfully get through it, then your relationship is strengthened.

and it tends to be cyclical for irrational types, you get to other places where you disagree and the more you communicate and resolve, the stronger the relationship becomes. the more you can be who you are and realize who the other person is and what they need and successfully and responsibly communicate, the relationship starts to attain higher and higher levels of understanding and intimacy.

the 2-3 month friction is just the first time this happens.

[FDG]

Sorry ehm, but I never really question what I want. When I enter a relationship I knwo what I want, otherwise I wouldn't enter it.

[Blaze]

Sorry ehm, but I never really question what I want. When I enter a relationship I knwo what I want, otherwise I wouldn't enter it.

huh. maybe that's the problem? lol

sometimes my worst choices have resulted from what i think i want at the time!

*tries to crack a tiny wedge of openness in fdg's mind*

[FDG]

Sorry ehm, but I never really question what I want. When I enter a relationship I knwo what I want, otherwise I wouldn't enter it.

huh. maybe that's the problem? lol

sometimes my worst choices have resulted from what i think i want at the time!

*tries to crack a tiny wedge of openness in fdg's mind*

You are a woman. You can question what you want and hold the man in your fingers while doing it. I don't like to question what I want simply because, it's always clear from the start - again I don't start relationship with people "i just somehow like" but only if I really am already very much into the person.

[Blaze]

Sorry ehm, but I never really question what I want. When I enter a relationship I knwo what I want, otherwise I wouldn't enter it.

huh. maybe that's the problem? lol

sometimes my worst choices have resulted from what i think i want at the time!

*tries to crack a tiny wedge of openness in fdg's mind*

You are a woman. You can question what you want and hold the man in your fingers while doing it. I don't like to question what I want simply because, it's always clear from the start - again I don't start relationship with people "i just somehow like" but only if I really am already very much into the person.

it's absolutely not about like. of course you like the person, of course you are magnificently attracted to them. all i'm saying is that you get to these places of friction and it's all in how you resolve it. and as you go forward, you realize things about yourself and the other person and you grow...and the other person grows...and you talk about it....and negotiate....and come to a higher level.

sooo, the mini-crisis or whatever you want to call it, is a great opportunity for growth in the relationship. but not everybody takes this opportunity (like this girl you're talkin about) so the relationship whithers.

conflict in any relationship is sure to come, and it's a good thing is all i'm saying. generally speaking of course. :wink:

[Blaze]

ps what do you think being a woman has to do with it?

[FDG]

ps what do you think being a woman has to do with it?

ahh true you are a thinking type woman sorry. probably i should change it into "feeling"? i don't know but i always see feelers as being much better at handling arguments.

i don't know if arguments strenghten a relationship. i've experienced it and in the end you just don't have any love any more because you have used all the emotion to argue. i guess it's personal.

[Hector]

This is a little off topic, but what is a male INFp and female ESTp relationship like?

[ESTP]

This is a little off topic, but what is a male INFp and female ESTp relationship like?

Complicated and frustrating, with mind-blowing sex.

[Blaze]

ps what do you think being a woman has to do with it?

ahh true you are a thinking type woman sorry. probably i should change it into "feeling"? i don't know but i always see feelers as being much better at handling arguments.

i don't know if arguments strenghten a relationship. i've experienced it and in the end you just don't have any love any more because you have used all the emotion to argue. i guess it's personal.

yes you are right the feelers basically run the relationship! hahaha which is fine cuz i should not be left in charge.

that said, conflicts can strengthen a relationship if they are handled correctly.

[Blaze]

thought just came to mind about me and my estp ex:

we both are thinkers, so i guess you could kinda see where that would go, but anyway, he was actually a little better at Fi even though it's his polr, because of his Se...he picked up on the facts of situations better than i and he was always more diplomatic. but i think i was better at Fe...like i can express feelings pretty easily and deal with other people's feelings pretty easily, but he really could not. he'd hide his feelings all the time except for anger.

so this is where infp or isfp comes in...they masterfully get it out of ya!

[ESTP]

thought just came to mind about me and my estp ex:

we both are thinkers, so i guess you could kinda see where that would go, but anyway, he was actually a little better at Fi even though it's his polr, because of his Se...he picked up on the facts of situations better than i and he was always more diplomatic. but i think i was better at Fe...like i can express feelings pretty easily and deal with other people's feelings pretty easily, but he really could not. he'd hide his feelings all the time except for anger.

so this is where infp or isfp comes in...they masterfully get it out of ya!

Im like that, very good at expressing anger, not much else though. Except when it comes to INFps...I get all girlie-girl, I dont know really how to explain it, ahah "emotional"? perhaps, seeing as how I associate the girlie-girl types to be more inclined to show a lot of emotion. I'm so bad at it, I cannot even talk about it properly. INFPs evoke something though, that I don't feel a lot. It's unusal because I start to over-react, or I just dont know how to act because of it. It's a strange world, this whole feeling thing...

[Blaze]

This is a little off topic, but what is a male INFp and female ESTp relationship like?

Complicated and frustrating, with mind-blowing sex.

Haha, well I guess it depends on the INFp that you've got. Sometimes it's exactly how you've described it, but often times, it's not all that frustrating.

With that being said, most of the INFps that I've related with fell into the "Complicated and frustrating, with mind-blowing sex" category.

i'm not an estp but i'm in a relationships with an infp, so i can comment, no? haha

infp's are complicated, aren't they? they see clearly how dynamics play out over time which is a complex thing. they think they're simple though. but they're not. but they are very hot and yes the sex is mind-blowing lol.

[ScarlettLux]

Hahaha, lol, I love the good stuff being said about INFps =D It's true though.. we're skilled in bed.. I think it's the pent up sexual energy we have.. that's why we make such good art/music.. it's merely sexuality channeled

[ESTP]

Hahaha, lol, I love the good stuff being said about INFps =D It's true though.. we're skilled in bed.. I think it's the pent up sexual energy we have.. that's why we make such good art/music.. it's merely sexuality channeled

INFps are good in bed, but very bad at getting back to people! Sometimes, the person I'm preffering to, I want to deck him in the fuckin' face...but the moment I see him I just melt. I hate INFps...B.S!

[misutii]

Sometimes, the person I'm preffering to, I want to deck him in the fuckin' face...but the moment I see him I just melt. I hate INFps...B.S!

really maybe you should give him a good thump, INFps need a reality check sometimes, so long as you clean him up afterwards I honestly don't think he'll take offense lol

[misutii]

Well, let me get it straight all:

we dated for 2 months. after 1 month she was saying how she loved me, and how i was the best date she's ever had since then. during the 2nd month everything proceeded well and there were no real "problems". then she went on a pre-planned vacation, and she stopped replying to smsss. Then after one month, she asked me out. Now I wouldn't have had a problem if the relationship was casual even at first, but IF you tell me you love me and all that stuf...I get attached. And if I get attached...it hurts a lot to become disattached without any explanation.

Also thereafter she got back with her boyfriend. However our attraction was way too strong, so at her birthday we ended up uh, having sex, after everybody had gone home. But at that point everything was already compromised. Now we hear about eachother on msn from time to time: the potential for a great relationship is clear, but i am not going to play games.

k i understand your frustration now, she seems to be immature and to have not developed principals yet (like even if she did finally come around and date you how could you trust her? especially knowing that she would cheat on her bf)

if you want to try anyway I'd recommend just throwing all the bullshit aside and confronting her up front and direct about it all, it would force her to question herself and speed up the process. I know you said you dont like games but in the least her reaction would be entertaining and if dissatisfied it could provide you with the stimulus to put it all behind you and move on for good

[crazedrat]

I think maybe the idea of commitment is flawed, but we are made to believe it's an ideal. But when I think about a committed relationship, it's always as an ideal in my mind. Never as something real. With real relationships I prefer things to be more fluid. I mean, if I'm in love with someone then at that point I expect commitment. But I don't think ESTps will cheat on you while you two are madly in love with one another. Probably they'll just get bored and move on, like you will too, eventually. Maybe..
Anyway, better to just avoid commitment altogether and be strong for yourself.
There is the other possibility that commitment comes from shared resources..
In that case getting some resources might create a social need for commitment. Generally, though, ESTps work their asses off and dont really need help in that department.

[NewBorn STAR]

Who cares about the longterm ?