Nice to know you finally made up with him. I am happy for you. This makes me feel like calling up my ESFj friend, asking her when my mini-dual will return -- she is going to get jealous at that -- and make plans to kidnap him to an exotic place. :wink:
As to my first experience of duality: I never suspected my friend's cousin of being my dual. I didn't even suspect him of being ESTp, since he was too young to be typed, or so I thought. There was nothing special to him except for the way he stood out in photo albums with his sexy poses, which he is a natural at making. The duality effect didn't kick in until 6-9 months after our initial meeting.
Contrary to the aggressor-victim theory, I was the one who took the first initiative. He was constructing a Gundam model, and I helped him rearrange the swords, guns, and pose to improve the impression that it made. We worked on it together for at least an hour, during which my ESFj friend would remark on how fabulously we got along. When we were finished, I took a photo of the finished result, and we shook hands to commemorate the (remarkably easy) beginning of our friendship. I used to visit my friend on Saturdays, and he'd occasionally tag along with me and my friend while we went out to buy food and drinks. Once, he suggested that I throw pudding into the bowl of shaved ice that I was eating. Bored and curious as to the taste, I took up the suggestion without a moment's pause. It was disgusting, but I persisted to the end. Shaved ice + pudding wasn't the only unusual combination that he challenged me to try out, either. I think he (almost?) added soda just to spice up the concoction. He was very amused by my willingness to try out new tastes, if I remember correctly. Other times he would invite me to watch him demonstrate his proficiency with fighting games on the computer or the PSP. Nothing special, really.
I don't have a habit of complimenting people (IRL), but words of praise come out very easily when it came to him. When my friend asked me for my opinion of him, I would easy admit stuff like "yeah, he's totally cool" in front of him. Perhaps my open affection for him encouraged him to approach me more. At the end of the summer holidays, he left the country to resume his studies. While he's away, I'd make my friend jealous(?) by asking "when is he coming back?" every once in a while, greeting him very enthusiastically whenever he came back to celebrate a holiday. My friend tends to ask "how come you always tease me, yet praise him up and down incessantly?"
He used to be the one who seemed rather dependent on me, following me more than I did him. I wasn't motivated to follow him, since he was either "there" or "not there", no big deal. But things changed when he came back months later to celebrate the New Year, looking sexier with a new haircut. He was to leave the next morning, so I tried to be with him for as long as possible. While I parted with him to wait for his father's arrival with my friend, I couldn't help wishing that I was with him instead. Even though I hadn't experienced duality at this point, he was good company to have in idle hours. While we were shopping at the department store, he followed me around and asked me to translate the cheats for Age of Empires III. I began to feel a strange feeling of comfort and bliss which intensified as I spent more time walking next to him. It impelled me to follow him and sit close to him in the attempt to close the distance between us, especially since "accidentally" bumping into him or just brushing his knees produced a tingling sensation. I kept on smiling out of giddiness.
The limited time I had with him felt like a dream; he was like a harbour from a wearying reality. Duality was as mystical as they describe -- it was a novel experience which helped me confirm that ESTjs are not my duals at all. Though I feel like a pervert for wanting to scoop him up, give him a hug, tell him to grow up faster, and propose to him.