Business/Look-alike Relations: Stories and Experiences

[Creepy-]

What are your experiences w your look-alike?

I usually get along very well w ILIs. My first boyfriend in high school was an ILI, and we're still great friends - we do come at things from different angles, but not in a way that causes friction. Usually, we crack each other up, and we also tend to agree on a lot of things [not that that's necessarily relevant to socionics]. From my own experience, I would say look-alike is probably better for friendship than dating. Is it different, maybe, for F vs. T types? [you'll have to excuse the MB-esque terminology; I'm not sure how else to phrase it]. Anyway, I'm curious about others' experiences/opinions....

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For quick reference:

These are relations between equal partners which can be called acquaintances rather than friends. There are no visual obstacles in the development of these relations, partners can talk easily almost about anything. Look-a-like partners do not feel any danger from the other partner. The strong sides of the partners are different in the such a way that almost any conversations between them always fall into the area of the confidence of only one of the partners. Look-a-like partners also have similar problems which makes them feel rather sympathetic towards each other instead of being critical of each other's vulnerabilities.

Understanding between partners is usually good. Collaboration between them may be very fruitful especially if partners feel a mutual attraction. When partners loose their feeling of sympathy for each other through anger or any other reason, they can apply pressure to their partner's vulnerabilities. This can sometimes be really unexpected and unpleasant for both partners.

Arguments in Look-a-like relations are not common practice. The partners usually try to help each other, or at least feel when their partner requires some form of assistance. However, in many cases the help is not effective enough because partners have similar problems. Look-a-like relations have an average degree of comfort. Partners do not have anything against each other but also nothing for which to struggle. These relations can normally bring a feeling of satisfaction from interaction with an equal and not boring partner.

Business relations are similar to identity and kindred in that partners have a large number of functions in common — in this case, all the even-numbered ones. This provides a certain commonality of expression and similarity of communication style. Business partners rarely have serious problems understanding each other. However, their purposes — defined primarily through the leading function — are radically different, even if their means are often similar. Business partners rarely need much time to get to know each other and find common ground (or define their differences). The psychological distance is naturally large enough that partners do not generally seek to know each other deeply. Rather, they are content to interact with the other on a relatively superficial basis.

[FDG]

I'm fine with them when we're on par, not find we they're above me. That's for males.

ENFj girls, for a misteryous reason, are often attracted to me.

[meatburger]

I typically get on very well with ESFp girls, but ESFp guys not so much.

[tiny_dancer]

I get along well with them, but I've never dated one. I think we'd burn each other out energy-wise. I have one friend with mega-strong Se (seriously, it's like a force-field), and I can see the conflicting Ne/Se most with her. If she's not the leader, she gets rather antagonistic when the group doesn't go her way. Overall, I enjoy their company, but we definitely have different ways of doing things. In a friendship aspect, most of the time it's not an issue because I'm open to just about any suggestion of what to do on a given evening. In a relationship, though, the Se would drive me nuts.

[FDG]

I typically get on very well with ESFp girls, but ESFp guys not so much.

Ahah, since it's the same way for me, perhaps it's an issue of competition.

[meatburger]

Ahah, since it's the same way for me, perhaps it's an issue of competition.

yeah i wouldn't be suprised at all. The ESFp guys i know would be hard for me to compete with though really, they are pretty confident haha. Its true though our spheres of influence do overlap a lot.

I think the ESFp girls ive met seem to focus on their Se differently. They focus on Fi and when they use their Se its to organise and do things. ESFp guys i feel the Se a lot more, and i also feel them using it on me. I tend to think "i wont have a bar of that thank you" lol. Ive actually noticed the same with ISFj guys and girls too. I suppose that Se is quite masculine, so the guys tend to enjoy using it.

[redbaron]

I've been very good friends with an SEI. My dad is also my lookalike, as is my uncle, my son, my father-in-law and I dated one also. So let's see...

I find that generally speaking, there's terrific understanding. It feels quite comfortable. No arguments or quarreling. I love being with SEIs--they're so pleasant and there's plenty to talk about, they're extremely sweet. but I don't think it would be a great relation for marriage. I think (and I'm pretty sure I feel this way about comparatives as well, which for me would be ILIs) I would get too frustrated with the Ip temperament. I'm afraid nothing would get done and everything would be up to me. My one great fear is having to make all the decisions!

"equal and not boring" is a good phrase to describe it. The symmetric nature of the relation is evident. There is mutual respect and it would be a great teaching relation--in face, my SEI friend taught me several things (no, not that! get your minds out of the gutter). uh, anyway....lookalikes are great!

[Creepy-]

Ahah, since it's the same way for me, perhaps it's an issue of competition.

yeah i wouldn't be suprised at all. The ESFp guys i know would be hard for me to compete with though really, they are pretty confident haha. Its true though our spheres of influence do overlap a lot.

I think the ESFp girls ive met seem to focus on their Se differently. They focus on Fi and when they use their Se its to organise and do things. ESFp guys i feel the Se a lot more, and i also feel them using it on me. I tend to think "i wont have a bar of that thank you" lol. Ive actually noticed the same with ISFj guys and girls too. I suppose that Se is quite masculine, so the guys tend to enjoy using it.

So w the girls you don't sense that same kind of competition, or is it just to a lesser degree?

I only know of two ILI's whose types I'm sure of - one is a guy, and he's one of my best friends, and the other is a girl I work with. I wouldn't say we're competitive, but then again we've never worked on any major projects together or anything. We're probably both too laid-back to really clash in a big way, though.