Discussion of Si PoLR in LIEs-ENTjs

[marooned]

Si PoLR has always been a confusing topic to me and I usually relate to people's weak Si stories, but as I type myself as Si lead it makes me skeptical of so many weak Si stories since I relate to them as well. But I don't think I relate to this pillow story precisely although I do relate to taking forever to make decisions when shopping and this becoming a problem and so I try to have some kind of flexible plan beforehand because I can't stand that helpless feeling of indecision in the social environment of shopping (there's pressure to make decisions quickly, and I can't decide). I think lots of sensors can be indecisive and will find shopping a nightmare due to the decision paralysis, the overwhelm of stimulus, all the people, the pressure... I mean shopping is stressful. I think most people hate it.

Something similar has happened to me with shoes to the pillow story, but it's more like I feel like all the shoes are wrong, there are no right shoes, and it's impossible to predict which design flaw will cause the whole thing to fall apart within 3 months. There are no good shoes and the time and money needed to find good shoes is not worth it. So I often go through a lot of time wearing really cheap things like flip-flops and they aren't really comfortable but they enable me to avoid the shoe shopping nightmare. I think it may be my feet are unusual. I don't know. But I have been to shoe stores in which I got up the assertive energy to keep trying pairs (which is hard in and of itself) and all the pairs were wrong somehow and I knew this was making it hard for the customer service people, so I would start trying to extricate myself from the situation because I could see no resolution ever coming.

However, I do think there's something that would strike me as unusual about Si PoLR which I've gathered seems to be this hyper-focus on Si in a really weird way that makes other people have to focus on it too, that can seem really OCD at times. I think it's that Si PoLR is likely to be offended by Si awareness, but this makes them feel like the people who are constantly scrutinizing you in this weird sensor way that comes off as uptight (although maybe they are hyper-focusing on their HA so it's Se and not Si?). It feels like a sensor. But it's the exact opposite. It differs from the Si DS and HA people who are constantly trying to get others to focus on Si because they want help. I find all of it fairly unbearable and have generally related to Si role and I prefer to not devote time to these things. When I'm uncomfortable and it's some big deal, eventually I will know and until eventually comes it's the best state and I wish it would last forever. I experience things as spending most of my time sedentary and I'll very slowly become of aware of discomfort because I'm just not focused on my body in general. The point that the discomfort is addressed is once it reaches this urgency in how painful it is that it can't be ignored and it is soon forgotten quickly (there's always this awareness lag sometimes of hours but there's also nothing wrong with this). And I know this has been used to describe Si role, but I feel like Si dominants may have this ability to acclimatize to personal pain and discomfort in which they generally can maintain a state of pain management by being more internally creative about how to process pain in their own consciousness? And then it can look like Si role?

That said, the issue is Si awareness is often talked about in this bodily way, and in a limited range. I think that I'm using Si when I edit how game characters look, I'm attracted to them looking good and I get a high when I created something that looks good (what looks good is often if it's bizarre enough or unusual enough which may be related to Ne DS), until I realize there was something I didn't notice about it (Se ignoring?), and then all the flaws come out, and that mindset of being aware of those flaws is a never-ending hell, which is why I feel it's best not to engage. It leads nowhere. Although perhaps this is Se. All those details would be perceived through Se.

When it comes to Si as described in Socionics I don't want help with it and I certainly don't want to be strained by others looking for help with it. Only they can know what they need and I see it as rude to put the burden on someone else because it's dumping that stress on others who certainly will not be able to solve the problem because they don't have the experience of the person who needs something... there's no access so it's like asking someone to be psychic in this way which makes no sense.

I think when it comes to best taste in this professional way it's this weird culture. It's not about Si or Se. It's about a culture of what is acceptable. For instance, don't paint that wall bright green, that's too... my god... it's not like all the eggshell paint. There are only some clothes that fit into the office culture. You need to be wearing those clothes. Etc.

[SunshineInaPuddle]

I also think I'm a SEI now but it makes me cringe everytime I lurk around the forum to read people's interpretation@ misinterpretation about it. I was reluctant to join discussions about this topic because of this too.

For instance, I can live in a huge pile of mess until I can barely stand it. Most of the times (90%) Ill just call a cleaner to clean my house, even if I am broke at the moment. Other times (10%, once in a while) I will go OCD and scrub everything including the inside of my husband's nostrils. People often think being a Si lead means one is good at housekeeping or maintaining them. But I am fucked in this life and I am bad at it even if I like it if it is clean and organized. Who doesn't like their surroundings to be clean at least?

My mother said when I was young I was the most lost child among my siblings when our family went out. She often had to go back to the stores@ parks just to see me being totally unaware of me being left behind because I was busy caught up at looking at something. I still have that kind of moment now I am an adult. I attribute this to being Se ignoring. Others in the forum might see this as being Si role I think?

Anyways regarding to Si polr in LIEs or in EIE think it is probably can be seen in extremities like the ability@more tendencies of them to push themselves to reach a certain goal and unaware what their body needs at the moment (e.g. sleep@ shower etc. while can be an ass about it in other times) but I do this too sometimes so I don't know. Si leads probably don't like it if they HAVE to do this, but they CAN. I think my cousin is probably a Si polr, he is quite a successful fashion designer. He often work for days to weeks without rest and once he didnt sleep for more than a week before a fashion show. His body then couldnt take it, he fainted at work and had to recuperate of the lack of rest for another week. The fact that he is into this kind of stressful job also makes me think of Si polr. Me OTOH do nothing while complaining about being a loser in life. I often bulldoze deadlines, late at meetings, and generally bad at being alive (being alive means surviving, right?)