Originally Posted by
anndelise
I like this, a LOT.
One of the problems with the things that Five quoted is that if you're (general you) basing things on "vibes" then how do you know that you aren't projecting your own "vibes" onto the other person? Empathy, imo, comes from stepping into the other person's shoes, and focusing on their past experiences, their likes/dislikes of the situation, and how they feel about the current situation. Viewing the situation as if being the other person, instead of being one's self.
And in order to do that, one can't say if an emotional response or a physical action is universally appropriate/inappropriate but maybe at most if it is appropriate/inappropriate for that particular person, in that particular situation, with those particular experiences, and with the resulting particular consequential effects on that person.
And since we only know what goes on in our own lives, and what another person has told us what goes on in theirs, the most we can do is ask ourselves...this person reacted/responded in this manner, what would have led him to that? what experiences/thoughts/emotions would lead him to respond/react that way? And then test (usually by asking the person questions) to see how correct we were or not. (But it's not empathy/understanding/knowledge of the person unless you test and correct it.)